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Pah. “You’re like a brother to me” in this house is “I’d shag you through the bed if you weren’t gay”
Soooo… your gay?
Hahaha ah awwwww =(
Or it means “I think of you like a brother, so it’d be creepy to date you.”
Poor little thing… It’s time to grow a little and understand that girls NEVER say what they are actually mean, like, If you wanna have sex,she says no, but it’s actually a yes!
Um, I am a girl…It’s time for YOU to grow up and understand that not every single girl in the world is exactly the same.
Xenon, I agree with you. I’ve told that to my best friend (a guy) after he asked me out. He’s not ugly or anything, I just can’t think of him as a boyfriend.
Then stop saying it like that! You have no idea how devistating it is, not because of the meaning alone, but because its such an overused phrase, that you feel insignificent (i know i cant spell it) when you hear it!
Dude. It’s can’t be devastating if you don’t let it be devastating. Stop putting your self-esteem at the mercy of what a girl thinks of you and let it go.
Note that “ugly” here doesn’t just mean looks. “You’re a really nice guy, but…” means you are NOT a nice guy and are probably super creepy and weird.
Naw, it’s more often, ‘You’re a nice guy, but I only date assholes. So…’
we have all been there
Yeah, that’s what all the Nice Guys(TM) say. “Girls don’t WANT nice guys! They only want jerks! Who’s a jerk? Every guy that isn’t me, obviously.”
Win for Emma. I’m so sick of the so called “Nice Guys” whining so much.
All of this really only applies to women in their 20′s. At some point women grow up, and this becomes less true as a woman exits her ‘mate seeking/competition’ years:
Women want jerks, but more specifically women want secure men, and when young men are secure they tend to act like jerks. Women lie and say they want a nice guy, but they don’t. They want whatever their friends will want. They want a man for his social status, they want the alpha male. They want strength and masculinity and security.
Women also are incredibly insecure. For this reason women tend to go after guys that they think they might not get, and keep guys that they think in the back of their mind they might lose. They rate themselves based on what their friends will say, not what they truly want. It’s a validation process. Women will also lie about this and deny this with their entire being, because it is repugnant and they know it (I don’t think it is, society judges otherwise) but it is true.
There may be a few statistical outliers out there, desperate women who want anyone, but any woman guys find desirable is going to be chasing alphas.
And Elle, you make a valid point. Nice guys are p**$!es, hence the whining. It’s not that they are nice that’s keeping them from getting laid, it’s that they are spineless, and whining is a symptom.
For all you nice guys, you don’t have to be a jerk, but you do have to grow a pair.
Quit with the stereotypes. Women are no more insecure than men.
More correctly, you should probably say, “People are incredibly insecure.” Because they are. The people who act the most confident are also the ones putting on an act because they’re afraid of just how insecure they feel. The truly confident people tend to be quiet and calm, and they’re few and far between.
You really have a thing or two to learn about females–like the fact that we actually have brains in our heads, which is something you don’t seem to have grasped yet.
–a girl who neither has a problem with “nice guys”, nor hesitates to kick a fellow in his “pair” if he acts as though he thinks women are objects who can be manipulated into bed at will by following the correct formula.
John M… the dating “expert”.
Good for you. You disagree and made a completely unsubstantial remark. Deep.
It’s very true that everyone can be insecure, and this manifests itself in different ways for different people, however we were discussing women, specifically the “I see you as a brother” line users.
Truly confident people are usually quiet, this is true. However, the majority of attractive women are in a competition with each other for who they perceive as the alpha male. This isn’t just about getting laid, it’s about security and provision.
I also never said women were stupid, that’s an inference you drew yourself.
“nice guys” are subservient to those around them. That makes them unattractive. It has nothing to do with formulaic mating ritual, it has everything to do with human nature.
actually, that IS perfectly acceptable.
I don’t know here. I have a girl friend that I consider like a sister. She’s good looking and everything, but just… nothing will happen. (The good thing about this is that she’s always presenting you new girls if you want to)
“I am somehow sensing that you are my son, come back in time to make a better 1985, so shagging you would be a bad idea.”
Win
I feel like there should be a section on the graph for ‘And now I leave you with no limbs, on fire and next to a volcano.’
In Some states thats good news…
Notably Absent from Graph:
- We dated once. We both know better now!
- I think you’re good looking, you think I’m good looking… but neither of us are feelin’ it and who knows why.
- You’re batsh*te crazy and I pity anyone who’d date you, but you are SO FUN to party with!
- You’re dating/seeing/married someone else so I cannot admit any feelings beyond the filial.
The list goes on. Methinks the poster just got told and is feeling sorry for himself. Here’s some advice: for every chick that rejects you with the “like a brother” line is another chick who’s “like a sister” to you who’d date you in a heartbeat.
Sorry but you fail.
Either a woman will date you or she won’t. If she has already dated you, she is not going to say “You are like a brother to me” she will just say no.
The second one is plausible, but if a guy is asking a girl out, he IS feeling it. to say “neither of us” implies that she is somehow reading his mind and/or heart which is impossible. Also, if she thinks he is good-looking she would not be using this lame lie to get out of going on a date with him. Instead, she would try to pawn him off on one of her friends.
This statement makes me think you a guy. Too crazy to date == too crazy to party and have fun with because she might get raped, arrested, etc.
This is just stupid. Either she will date a guy regardless of his status, or she will say “You are ‘dating/seeing/married’ to whomever. She won’t say “You are like a brother” because if she does want him, she will wait until he is single and saying that puts an end to any possible relationship in the future.
If you are a guy, you are an idiot when it comes to women. If you are a woman, you are just another liar.
Notice that the graph was made by someone who evidently thinks that not wanting to date someone must automatically equal not liking that person or thinking they’re ugly.
So whatever happened to treasuring a friendship as a friendship instead of some kind of manipulative stepping-stone to shagging each other silly?
Guys don’t want girls who are friends. Every guy who is ‘friends’ with a girl is just waiting for his chance to try and get in her pants.
Only known exceptions are married men/women (even then you gotta be wary) and homosexuals. If you have a straight friend who is a guy, he wants more or he’d have moved on.
Guys have plenty of friends, don’t fool yourself into thinking you are ‘treasured’ or some other such nonsense.
I think girls can honestly like guys as friends, but it doesn’t work the other way around. It’s like Chris Rock says: “Want some D)(k?”
Bulls**t. Maybe there are a lot of guys like that, but some of us straight men can have platonic friendships with good-looking women without wanting to get inside their pants.
Win for you! John M. seems to desperately want to perpetuate stereotypes and insists on generalizing. Women can have attractive platonic male friends, and vice-versa. If YOU can’t have platonic relationships with people of the opposite sex, and don’t think anyone else can either, there’s something wrong with you.
On a related note, I am also in a relationship with a GENUINE “Nice Guy”, not a whiny little bastard that constantly complains about women, and he is genuinely kind and empathetic.
Eh… that’s a subject of great debate throughout the ages, and the entire plotline of “When Harry Met Sally,” which completely proves your point, but I still respectfully disagree. Then again, I’m a lady, so I have only so much insight into the mind of a dude. An aunt once told me, “Everything a man says to a woman translates to, ‘Please touch my pen*s.’”
You don’t speak for me or any of the other guys I care to know. Sit down and shut up.
I’m a girl.
I speak from personal experience on all 4 points.
- Ex-boyfriends are some of my best, closest friends. You’re right, I would never use that line as “rejection,” only to express affection, but is this what the graph necessarily implies?
- My bestest friend in the world is a guy. He’s going to be a groomsman in my wedding. Trust me– we both recognize the incompatibility factor. He might at one time have found me attractive, but that would have been years ago.
- Another guy pal– he gets way too drunk and cah-razy and I could NEVER count on him to stay under control, but if he’s at a party, I’m at that party, and likely driving his batsh*te ass home after an evening full of laughs.
- Yet another guy friend, and yet another ex-bf. Just finished making his bride’s wedding gown. Last night they came over to pick it up, and he hugged me and said to my current boyfriend, “Take care of her. She’s like a sister to me!”
Again, to back you up here, none of these cases involve using “like a brother to me” as rejection, so if that is assumed, you are correct in calling bullsh*t. If it is not assumed, my cases stand.
Oh, I should mention in case #3 that batsh*te cah-razy guy is also very good looking, but yes, his wildman behavior rendered him unattractive… to me.
The fourth is pretty common, you sir should make a graph.
You forgot, “I find your shallow perception of my emotions, obsession with your own self-importance, and poorly-veiled desperation mildly off-putting.”
Or maybe she means it like the way black people use it. Which is more meaningful I think.
“Methinks the poster just got told and is feeling sorry for himself. Here’s some advice: for every chick that rejects you with the “like a brother” line is another chick who’s “like a sister” to you who’d date you in a heartbeat.”
THANK YOU.
Also, I’m wondering if the poster thinks it means this when other men say it to him, too. heh.
Love always,
A “like a sister” that got told once, only to be asked out by that same dude when I got hot 3 years later…
http://www.theonion.com/articles/but-if-we-started-dating-it-would-ruin-our-friends,11473/
This is all you need to know, people.
Do a Google search on “the onion best friends” (“But If We Started Dating It Would Ruin Our Friendship Where I Ask You To Do Things And You Do Them”).
That’s all you need to know, people.
Guys want attractive women. Women want emotionally and mentally strong men.
If a woman gives you a BS line, it’s because she sees you as weak, or because her friends have said something negative about you and it will somehow reflect on her if she dates you.
If a man gives you a BS line, it’s because he finds you unattractive, either physically or mentally/emotionally.
Men and women both lie, but don’t pretend that it’s the lies that get you mad, it’s the fact that you are weak/unattractive to someone you are attracted to that gets you mad. The intent behind any such lie is to protect your feelings, so obviously the person cares, despite their poorly executed attempt to protect you. They care, but they don’t want you. Get over it and move on.
Stop getting your dating advice from a book about evolution.
Only a complete fool denies the fact that we are animals. We are intelligent animals, but we are still animals with animal drives. The more you suppress it the more violently and dramatically it resurfaces.
Humanity is 6 days away from the dark ages at any given time. Might still often makes right, unfortunately, and we are still ruled by our instincts.
As a scientist might I say that humans are NOT driven by “animal-like” instincts. Human behavior is 99% socially-derived, I can’t stand it when people try to attribute socially-ingrained behaviors to being presumably genetically-driven. Humans unlike spiders and lizards do not function ‘mostly on instinct.’
Well, humans other than John M.
BINGO!
@ John M
Thanks for the words of wisdom,
You forgot to put “I love you, but you’re taken already and I’d like to avoid getting mauled by your significant other”
People who only pay attention to their partner’s looks get what they deserve.
I find that making excuses makes things worse. I don’t think I’ve ever used the “Like a brother” Line, as an excuse or a truth. I just tend to tell people in as polite a manner as I can what it is I find I can’t date them for. Not out of any particular dislike for them, just because I belive that someone who cares about you enough to ask you out deserves your honesty. I had to tell someone once I felt they weren’t in touch with reality enough, and that the way they tried to brush difficult problems under the carpet was very frustrating. I didn’t like having to say it, but we owe people honesty at the very least, if we can’t really like them as they like us. He thanked me for it about a year later. But that’s just one person so I can’t say it would work for everyone. My apologies if I’ve offended anyone with this comment…