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About As Useful As Advanced European History


Funny Graphs - Quadratic Truth b -4ac 2 -b 2a Something I will never use after High School

Graph by: Unknown

So I can list every English monarch from William I to Charles the I…in chronological order. But I can’t remember my mother-in-law’s phone number. – Ms. Fix-It

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» 124 TPS Reports

  1. vinicius says:

    only if you are not planning on becoming an engineer

  2. Gazell says:

    I feel sorry for the engineers, like me, who still need to use it.
    Either way… that’s just kindergarten stuff.

    • nthdegree says:

      I feel your pain, im studying engineering at the moment and still have to use it….

      • Cyradis says:

        Why be sorry? It is a ridiculously useful and usually easy to use formula that retains its usefulness throughout your scientific career. Yes it is kindergarten stuff for science people, but that doesn’t mean it is painful.
        And really, if it is that gross, as a proper engineer you should have a scientific calculator with a “find roots” function to speed up the process. Doesn’t work as well when deriving equations, but hey, can’t win them all.

      • marusa says:

        i don’t study anything that involves this equation, however, i don’t understand why everyone here is like “i feel sorry for…blah blah” it really isn’t difficult at all, it was one of the easiest things i used in high school…

  3. Trey says:

    oddly enough I still use this alot even in advanced engineering maths this equation pops up and saves the day :P

  4. Kelli says:

    Unless your going to college.

    • Kelsie says:

      *you’re

      And yeah. I’ve used this, and I’m a biology major…

      • jacob says:

        Thats true unless your in medicine, chemistry, algebra, and biology are used more than you could imagine; calculus and physics not once.

        • Patrick says:

          YOU’RE. YOU ARE = YOU’RE.

          YOUR = BELONGS TO YOU.

          /rage

          (I’d be less annoyed if it wasn’t posted as a correction IN THE COMMENT TO WHICH YOU’RE REPLYING!!!)

          • bionelly says:

            Thank you. If you hadn’t raged, I would have had to.

            Also, Jacob, that would have been much easier to understand without that comma splice, which makes it look like you’re in medicine, chemistry, algebra and biology. [/Grammar Nazi]

            To get back on topic, this *is* algebra, so if you’re using algebra “more than you could imagine”, odds are you’ll need this at some point.

        • Patrick says:

          PS: I used the quadratic equation in physics.

        • Blackmuma says:

          dude, calculus and physics not once? what the hell have you been learning in that school/college (whatever). If you actually learned calculus and physics at this point you would be solving it without even writing it on a paper.

  5. Cloral says:

    Hope this guy isn’t planning on going into software.

  6. iGetBored.T_T says:

    Might wanna rethink that if you’re going to college/university….just a thought. Unless they think they’re going to be an actor or something. :p

  7. Dave says:

    Firstly, this isn NOT a graph.

    Secondly, this is not funny! The quadratic formula is super important.

  8. Julian says:

    Well, then drop out early. You might just miss out on:

    http://tinyurl.com/czns2g

    http://tinyurl.com/ybntbcl

    http://tinyurl.com/36evprx

    (aka knowledge and wisdom)

  9. thechoir says:

    yeah, the quadratic formula is just about the only thing I learned in high school I actually *did* need to know later in life. Boy do I regret dismissing it as useless!

  10. kadkins says:

    unless you go to college – it is probably the single most useful formula i ever memorized.

  11. loqk says:

    i used to use this all the time in engineering. now i’m doing biomedical science, i’ve needed it a few times, but not had it at hand.

    i’ve just saved this image in my comics folder so i can find it next time i need it :-D

    • bopalo says:

      all you have to do is remember the song! sung to the tune of “pop goes the weasel.” i haven’t seen this equation in seven years (since high school… my god, has it really been that long?) and, even though i only looked over it one time about ten minutes ago (before i started reading the comments and getting distracted by a few different things, which i do frequently, like right now, but back to my point), i can sing it to you right now!
      x equals negative b plus or minus the square root b squared minus 4ac all over 2a
      *checks to see if she was right*
      i was right! that thing sticks like glue.
      (P.S. sorry if this whole thing is unintelligible, i’m feeling pretty much that way right now. beerLOL)

      • bopalo says:

        truthfully, though, if i recall correctly, i could memorize the formula but never was any good at putting it to use. thank god i found a job in which i’m not required in the least to understand math. i suck at math. seriously so bad.

  12. Doughboy(^_^) says:

    You’ll only never use it after high school if you work a job that can easily be done by someone who never went to school at all.

  13. nyx says:

    i need it a lot

  14. Rik says:

    Epic Fail for the one that posted this because that person isn’t or probably won’t reach College level.

    • Smith says:

      QFT

      If you think that the quadratic equation formula is completly useless you may better think that:

      a) America isn’t a country (USA is though, but can’t compare USA History to WHOLE European History)
      b) This formula is more valuable than everything you’ve done (and probably will) IRL

      PS: I don’t want a flame war, I just want to show that the OP is quite an ***hole

      • lindsey says:

        The person you responded to said nothing about America being a country or not or about American and European history in their comment. Since you brought it up now, yes, America is a country. We are typically called Americans, not United States of Americans. America is short for United States of America just like China is short for People’s Republic of China.

        • Kyle says:

          well said

        • Julian says:

          What about the continent? And where are Canada and Mexico located? And Brazil for example is located in South … ? Dur.

          • bionelly says:

            The continents are called North and South America, but I’ve never heard either of them individually or both of them put together referred to as just “America”. It is natural to shorten the name of a country when the official name has more than one word, and in this case the most natural way to shorten it happens to use a word that is also in the name of a continent. That doesn’t make the shortened name less valid, especially when the name of the continent is not shortened in the same way. That’s like saying Albert can’t be called Al because Allison also has “Al” in her name.

            • Julian says:

              If you look up the history of what to call a continent (good example: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Continent ) you’ll find that in 3 out of 5 counting varieties North and South America together are called “America”, and in the other 2 countinv varieties North America still contains Canada and Mexico.

              You are totally right to call yourself an American, but a Canadian is also an American, as is somebody from Chile or Peru. In the colloquial language, an “American” usually refers to someone from the USA (at least also here in Germany), because they have no other Denonym to their nationality, as opposed to Mexicans, Canadians, Peruvians, Guatelmalans, Bolivians and so forth. But if you take the meaning literally, “American” actually only specifies somebody from the (two) continent(s) to the West of Europe and Africa.

              At least it is like that in the colloquial language, and in English only. Here’s some info on that: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States#Etymology

  15. Le Q says:

    It would be at least a little bit better if it were after high school and college, and even better if it were “…after high school and college assuming I don’t go into a math/science major.” Of course, that would be less funny…

  16. Gangreless says:

    You don’t even need to be a math/science major. You’re going to have to take at least one math course in college and you’re going to have to know this. Besides, this is probably the easiest math formula to remember (besides Pythagorean Theorem). Dumbass.

  17. Alex says:

    Truth be told, most people do end up using a small fraction of what they learned in High School when they get to the “real world.” But you need that general education background to determine what field you are interested in. Think of it not as “stuff I didn’t need” but rather “stuff that pointed me towards what I wanted.”

  18. tyberius says:

    Agreeing with everything said above me, I’d like to add that high school math is useful even if you won’t ever need this particular formula. The broader sense in teaching math is to teach you to solve problems using your logic and intellect. This is a skill that isn’t born with you, it needs to be developed, and if you don’t work on it, you’re gonna end up at a dead end job where you won’t need to solve problems, and will be paid accordingly – until a robot comes along and takes your job.

    And besides, WTF is your problem? Your high school education is paid for by your parents and the government; either way, they know why you need to learn that stuff, and they are the ones with the money, so STFU.

    • Gretgor says:

      I love your final paragraph, so true.

      • tyberius says:

        Thank you. TBH I made similar comments when I was in high school. It was in frustration, but still, it was srs bzns for me.

        From the outside, teenage life seems so much simpler, right? :)

  19. DJ says:

    I’ve used it loads of times since high school. Yes, I’m a math & science person. What you use from high school depends on what you do afterward. You can do better than this.

  20. aivanther says:

    I guess you’re ambitions are to manage a wendy’s? Oh wait, you’ll need some math for that to…

  21. Well, then... says:

    …factor away.

  22. RDF109 says:

    And thus all the dorks raged.

    • ctc says:

      I hope that you see the irony of typing what you wrote into a computer and posting it on the internet…

    • J says:

      People are “dorks” for understanding that knowledge is useful? Doesn’t say a lot about you, unfortunately.

      • shin0bi272 says:

        by dorks he meant the nerds who are sitting at a college pc or a government job that use the formula on a regular basis but dont actually do any work and sit there all day on the interwebs trolling for re-re’s who post stuff they disagree with.

  23. Wani says:

    There’s a chart on the wall of one of hte maths rooms at my university with “When will I ever need to use this?” and a list of various things you learn in high school and early university level maths, then the various careers that use them. It’s very cool. Whoever posted this should see it.

  24. Gretgor says:

    I’m not even an engineering guy, I’m majoring on CS, and a lot of high school math is directly appliable to CS. So if you think you can just slack off on the math, you’re doing it wrong.

  25. Jessicatastic says:

    Clearly the poster is still in high school. It haunts you in college, buddy.

  26. Bruno says:

    you’re wrong, i’m a engenieer and use that a lot

  27. Dark-Wraith says:

    I am a professor who teaches finance and economics. I also teach math, computer science and software skills, along with business law. I also used to teach English grammar and composition. A long time ago, I was a canon fire direction specialist. I’ve been a business consultant, too.

    To claim that the tools and formulae of elementary algebra (and the quadratic formula is quite elementary in the huge scope of algebra, specifically, and math, more generally) is to display the profound satisfaction of those who are so ignorant that they know not their ignorance.

    Compounding that, to proudly display the anti-intellectualism that asserts the uselessness of European history (or any other history, for that matter) is to declare imbecility from the stilts of FAIL Kingdom.

    Ignoring, contorting, rewriting, dismissing, and otherwise sneering at history and the broader traditions of thought brought forward to invite use and invention is from the realm of fools and neoconservatives. (But I repeat myself.)

    The author of this post has befarted the Cheezburger Network.

    (Wait. What? “Befarted”?!)

    Enough. Someone find the poster of this article a job with the You-Betcha Girl. It’s a match made in Heaven.

    Or someplace.

    • The_Inquisitor says:

      Well, said. As an engineer, a grad student, and a scholar, I salute you.

      For the willfully ignorant out there – if you don’t need to know things such as algebra at your job, then it can be done by a machine.

      You know, the ones that people, like myself, who know these things are building.

      Let me know how life on the dole is.

      • Dark-Wraith says:

        Thank you for those kind words, Inquisitor.

        This era in which siege is being laid from both neoliberals and neoconservatives to the very concept of public education can be dispiriting, especially when added on to the ever-present, fad-driven education reforms that seem always to be sweeping through academia from one source or another.

        Against that backdrop, however, I am finding anymore such a strong sense that every current and former college student, whether mine or not, who values knowledge and the persistent dedication to reason and high thought is part of my intellectual family. It is a genuine feeling, too, inasmuch as I can see, even in the darkest of political and economic times, the way by which civilization carries on, whether or not the empires and nations that pose to it do or not.

        As a final note, I am a writer on politics, economics, education, and culture, and have been for a long time, now. I will certainly reply to you, but not to the ignorance embodied in those like the uninformed troll below. Life is too short to waste calling into the chasm that hears nothing but the emptiness of its own void.

        Against, thank you for your reply to my original comment.

    • shin0bi272 says:

      spoken like a true liberal who’s never had a job that wasnt paid for by the tax payers. It’s the “intellectuals” like you that are teaching our kids mediocrity is best and that they shouldn’t ever hurt anyone’s feelings unless they are republican or white males who arent in some victim group. If you move out of the ivory tower of academia and get a real job you wont use this equation again the rest of your life.

      While we’re at it can you explain the logical fallacy to Keynesian economics? probably not since you believe that for every dollar the government takes from the economy to spend in the economy will generate 3 or 4 dollars because you’re a tard.

      • Kyle says:

        Spoken like a true ignorant a-hole. Please do the world a favor and take a tumble down a very high mountain.

        • Shadowbane509 says:

          Real job? Do you mean flipping burgers at McDonalds? Where (I saw at one Mcdonalds, I can’t say for any others) they use Grade F “Edible” meat. More like “EdiBILE”

  28. smirks says:

    Ah, the whining of high school children. Like babies, but taller and with hormones.

    Many years from now, when you’re grown, you will appreciate (too late), the chance you had to expand your mind through your free education, and regret squandering it.

  29. lindsey says:

    Unless you don’t plan on taking Algebra in college

  30. Nefarious_the_Z-Stack says:

    Trust me, no matter who you are or what major you are, any college student will be plagued by this irritating little formula. Plus, engineers will be stuck with it for the entirety of their careers….

  31. maddragonqueen says:

    Completely not true. You use it in college.

  32. Alina says:

    The division line isn’t supposed to go under the -b part.
    Shows how much you learned.

  33. Frank says:

    Of course You won’t use it!

    The only question You will receive during your working hours will be ‘two McRoyal and a coke, please!’

  34. Dan says:

    You can survive without many things, but some things make life much easier.

    I don’t need much of the math I learned in school for everyday life…but there have been many times where remembering a specific formula has helped make a specific task easier…and times I’ve kicked myself for not remembering one, because it would have made things easier.

    Formulas like this are much like a car: I can get where I want without it, but I’ll get where I want to go much faster if I use it.

    And as Tyberius pointed out, even if you don’t use a majority of the formulas you learn beyond doing schoolwork, the practice of learning and using them exercises the brain and expands your capabilities, in the same way that working out increases your strength and endurance.

  35. john says:

    well, that high school age kids think they know exactly how the rest of their lives will go is nothing new.

  36. Maki Naki says:

    Not true. . . I’m a senior in college and still need to know it. Not an engineer, either. . .

  37. itwasadarkandstormynight says:

    School House Rock planted the Preamble to the Constitution so deeply in my brain that I suspect it will be there forever.

  38. Azkyroth says:

    Hold the smug ignorance, and yes, I would like fries with that.

  39. Gliiidter says:

    I have used this equation in countless linear numerical model codes as a quick way to calculate roots of a quadratic.

  40. Captain Pipcard says:

    A negative boy was undecided about going to a radical party. He was a square, so he missed out on four awesome chicks. The party was over at 2 a.m.

  41. Fluggen says:

    Correction: After college. You still have to take a couple of required math courses in college.

  42. Blackmuma says:

    I use it every f-ing day

  43. Sam says:

    I’ve just finished my maths GCSE’s, and I can sleep well knowing I’ll never have to use it again.
    Also, why are there so many engineers commenting on this?

  44. Ayverie says:

    Hey I just used this a couple of days ago. Not even in class.

  45. locs says:

    never went to college, did the lowest form of highschool possible.. started my own company and making more in a month then 90% of the engenieer out there… so i call it a WIN

    • Kyle says:

      *than* *engineers*
      sorry but you fail. try going back to high school.
      by the way, being self-employed by cutting grass or cleaning toilets doesn’t exactly constitute owning your own company.

  46. Youbutfucaz says:

    Not if your planning to got to college

  47. Coz says:

    This would be far funnier if you got the formula right >_< it's over 2ac.

  48. GIRSDOOMETTE says:

    I will never forget this because i had a teacher at my high school that sang
    this to the tune of “pop goes the weasel” so u would have ppl walking down the hallways singing”X equals negative B, plus or minus square root of B squared minus 4AC, all over 2A”…lols

  49. Author says:

    IM SORRY. I was just making a light joke

  50. 6th Grader says:

    I can calculate a quadratic equation because of this song I learned

    To the tune of Pop Goes The Weasel

    X equals negative B
    Plus or minus square root
    B squared minus 4ac,
    All over 2a!

  51. Nicole says:

    That is incorrect. it’s should be ” b^2 ” not ” -b “

  52. User unidentified says:

    walls of texts! walls of texts! TOO MANY! BRAIN MALFUNC…error


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