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Favorite Comment: Graphite JoeL says, “Correction: “He must be smoking weed and masturbating.”
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wow… someone’s bitter about how mom treats sister better than you.
maybe if you didn’t masturbate so much??
Awww… A poor little girl that thinks that the maker of this graphs masturbates because she is yet not emphatic and smart enough…
I’ve seen this before, but not this severe. But then again, everything on GraphJam is exaggerated. But yes, the boy gets all the suspicious thoughts thrown at him, and everyone thinks the girl is completely innocent. The truth is, that, they are pretty much the same. Everyone just assumes that the girl is more disciplined, smarter, etc. Just about the same. About 2% of it is true. Yes there are some exceptions, but notice that I said that it wasn’t absolutely false. Just the slightest bit of it is true.
Girls are as bad as boys, they’re just better at hiding their tracks, I think
or her parents don’t check cause they want to give her space
And they don’t generally require the need for tissues.
No, please go on…
I keep a tissue near me because I tend to get too wet, which makes it difficult to ensure the perfect feeling of friction.
I tend to soak through bath towels and bed sheets… I’m what you might call a ‘squirter’….
It’s really just a nuisance.
Trust me, there is no salvaging a mattress once you’ve gone down this path.
They make really neat soy-based mattress-covers that go on under the sheets, and they protect it from all sorts of harmful goings-on. It’s organic, too.
Sometimes, they are worse
Yes, we are. >:)
UR RITE
There are two kinds of people: People who admit to masturbating, and liars.
I’m glad I’m female
Your parents hate you @the person who created this graph
My mom thought i smoked pot when i was 14 just because i liked collecting lighters…
lol i like collecting lighters too but i do smoke pot how odd…
XD here, have a cookie.
or a brownie, fresh from central europe!
Or a brownie fresh from my bathroom
It’s the opposite at my house… my brother gets coddled so much it’s sickening. He gets ANYTHING he wants and he gets away with EVERYTHING he does.
Correction: “He must be smoking weed and masturbating.”
Just be careful which thing you try to light.
Why, it is fun watching ‘em burn themselves.
I had a friend who worked as an emergency room nurse; there were a couple cases of guys burning their junk.
most likely friction, check to see if they have fast internet!
Survival of the fittest… interrupted by hospitals. Pity.
sad thing is… this is modstly true.
True,true,……….:,( Craying face
p.s. its crying face, not craying face. still true though
It can be completely diffrent everywhere. My mom doesn’t think I smoke anything. As for masturbation… well I don’t know, but it’s awkward anyway so I’ll leave it.
Still, this is quite true if you look at most cases. People get afraid about their sons smoking and doing sexual stuff a lot easier then about their daughters.
Well, in this neighboorhood, boys are f-ing spoiled.
Yes, but not in other neighborhoods, perhaps?
in mine it is
So the moms think the things on the girls’ side of this graph while the guys are doing the things on the boys’ side of the graph?
When was this ever news?
it’s not.
beware if both are together and trenched with sweat afterwards
Magneto wasn’t tipped off by that that in the Ultimate Universe.
beware of harry potter toyss
trenched in sweat?
I think “trenched in sweat” has something to do with a ditch.
My mom’s not like that. My dad is, though.
Uh-oh. I think someone’s dad is projecting.
the last one should say “He must want to stay home and masturbate”
AND smoke weed XD
Y’know, it’s the opposite (minus the taped Twilight part) with me and my little brother. Only, instead of his boyfriend, it’d be his girlfriend.
Sad part is, I don’t masturbate. I just have no friends in the summer.
might as well masturbate then
so true
What’s fun is that my brother was the moody, delicate snowflake in need of coddling. He was the one who would spend so long getting ready for dates.
I was the one to lock myself in my room in order to touch myself. Odd that no one ever suspected… Then again, the graph holds true. Viva sexism.
Everyone knew, they just wouldn’t admit it.
No, I don’t recall ever going to a special camp because I ‘needed Jesus’.
Trust me, they never figured it out.
Completely inaccurate. If my mum had taped Twilight for my sister, she would most likely have shoved the tape sideways up someone’s rear end.
Well said.
lol, sad but true
Are you kidding? I’m a girl and my parent’s ALWAYS thought I was doing something skanky or illegal. I was an honor roll kid and never touched drugs or alcohol.. How effed up was that? I -WISH- I’d given my parents something to justify their skewed sense of who I was as a teenager lol. Maybe I would have had a more exciting youth.
Me too! My mother always thought I was such a problem child. Her head would probably have exploded if she’d been saddled with a real problem child. Apparently I went out to much because I went to bible study twice a week. She got mad at me because I went to a party on my 18th birthday instead of staying home when in reality practically every other 18 year old would be down the pub and coming home plastered. Drives me nuts when people say that teens think they know everything but they’re really idiots because I can think of so many times that I was right and my mother was wrong. Age doesn’t always bring wisdom.
Heh I’m 19 and I had to spend around a total of 4 hours arguing with my mom whether I can go to a guy friend’s b-day party DURING THE DAYTIME because my mom thinks I’m doing skanky things with him. Then again, she banned me from watching TV when I was little, and still aims to control my interwebz time and my contact with one of my other friends. Effin’ Asian parents and their skewed sense of their children.
Wow… seriously your Asian and you don’t know how to sneak around? I’m 19 and iv been doing crap since i was 12 (no drugs ever) i mean they don’t even know about the kendo classes i took…
If I were of legal age, and the sort to drink alcohol, I’d drink to that!
Actually, age tends to have two effects: it exposes people to more experiences and gives them more time and it reinforces their patterns of behavior.
So people who are open to experience, who are willing to reevaluate their sentiments in light of new information, and who use time to reflect can gain a lot of wisdom as they age.
But dumb people just get dumber.
To long did not read
Wise people get wiser and dumb people dumber.
Thanks for simplifying Azkroth’s statement for the person who will get dumber
HAH! I only -wish- it was that easy for girls! Lesseee….
Bedroom door closed? Time to walk in.
Bathroom for an hour? Time to walk in.
On the computer all day? “you need to do other things”. On the computer all night? Lecture on how ‘that’s when all the crazy people are on’.
Stay after school? Must be loitering. You -better- not be crossing that street missy!!
Sick from school? If you’re not contagious you’re going….
haha tru dat
I always got the “If your not puking blood you’re going to school and you just missed your bus so start walking” speech.
wow, cuz the whole gender stereotype thing isn’t getting old at all…..NOT.
gender stereotyping got old when feminism started
Feminism started in response to gender stereotyping getting old. Then they made the worst naming decision in history. >.>
Yeah, but “equalism” just sounds sort of…George Orwell-ish.
And no one’s gonna get that, but oh, well.
“George Orwell-ish”
Just say Orwellian.
Taped Twilight? Not for me, I’d have the Harry Potter movies set up and ready to re-watch.
Harry Potter FTW! lol
yha me too
If my mom taped twilight for me, I’d rather go to school sick.
yep
I`d go on the computer all day and have no life.XD
How my parents see it:
The Door is closed in their bedroom:
oh, she must be doing homework or practicing guitar.
In the bathroom for more than 1 hour:
they wouldn’t even notice.
On the computer the entire day:
Go outside, you’re on the computer too much
Stays after school:
she must be spending time with some boy
Sick on a school day:
are you sure there isn’t any reason you don’t want to school????
How my mom would see it:
Door closed:
“It’s 4 o clock, want something do drink?”
Bathroom for more than a hour:
“Are you okay?”
On the computer the entire day:
She’s used to it.
Stays after school:
“He’s probably at his best friends house again.. Better call him”
Sick on a school day:
“No computer, tv or xbox for you, and you’re staying in your bed.”
Wait… are you me? Because that’s EXATCLY what happens to me
i’m pretty sure that the parents would be right as far as the masturbation goes, from what i’ve earned about guys.
Some guys are just introverts – prefer time indoors to out – some guys do indeed fit this chart but i dont think most do – or at the very least, not for very long – i never did, myself, xD
Introverted actually means you prefer time to yourself, not inside.
Just fyi.
cha you just need to do it all ninja style like then your parents leave for the weekend and take bro/sis. then again europe is way cooler than america because we dont have soccer moms
Hee, I wish. I’m a girl, and while my mom doesn’t think I masturbate 90% of the time, she does think I spend my every waking hour having sex with my boyfriend whom she hates.
Plus I’m pretty sure she’s allowed me to stay home sick less than 10 times in my whole 14 years of school.
My mother never let me stay home. Once I had a severe root infection (my family has a history of bad molars, and I’m a fanatic about brushing my teeth) and my gums were swollen. My mom told me I was still going to school, until I walked over to the sink and spit blood in it in front of her. THEN we went to the dentist.
The funny thing is, those few times I DID get to stay home I wasn’t actually sick, just faking.
Poor girl, she has to watch twilight.
this is more like it.
girl goes on date = “omg! you are going to sleep with him and get pregnant! no you are not going!”
boy goes on date = “make sure you use a condom.”
im with this guy
truth xD
Too true! My dad and the stepB**** were always screaming about how some “random” guy was going to get me “knocked up” and then leave me.
I wonder if they realized that I had one boyfriend through most of middle school and high school, and that when we finally did have sex, I was being responsible by using both condoms and bc pills.
The door is closed in their bedroom.
She’s asleep or reading.
In the bathroom for more than 1 hour.
Not even noticed.
On the computer all day.
Go outside!
Sick on a school day.
Take some medicine and if you feel worse call home.
who the heck made this graph? a boy or a girl? either gender this person is, they have issues. for boys, its different, i have a brother.
oh yeah, and…
stays after school
is either playing sports or with a boy
my mom is so perverted that she thinks guys do anything sexual no matter what and the girls side so define my 2 sisters one has friends on the internet and the other has an on and off boyfriend
I think he meant “anything sexual is the guy’s fault”
Yeah this so isn’t right. I love how this idiot plays the gender card. Trying to make the guys the victims in this world when they really aren’t. Even if this is a little true, then the guy shouldn’t be acting like a sex-crazed moron. Sorry guys but this little girl knows how much you like to be babyed and blah blah blah…
to be fair, that’s a male’s instinct, to procreate whenever he can, we men unconsciously think about sex every 7 seconds, so it’s not our fault, blame whatever species of animal we evolved from
i dont think im unconscious every 7 seconds.
ROFL Comment Thread Win.
Or thought Fail?
Thanks for proving it true by assuming the poster is a “sex crazed moron”.
Women are the ones playing victim in western society and the truth is usually the opposite. Women get preferential treatment constantly and guys are chastized for even mentioning it.
And now so are you. Have fun with your hypocrisy.
Thanks for proving my point again by attacking my sexuality because I suggested men might be disadvantaged.
This is getting ridiculous.
I noticed.
women are down to “do the laundry” too.
I’d say, as a girl, I would rather take the med and go to school then have my parents have me watch twilight if i were sick.*shivers at the thought of it*
I do masturbate a lot…
Can I have that mom? She seems way more compassionate to her daughter than my mom was to me. I didn’t even get the Tylenol before being shoved out the door in the pouring rain, running a fever, with a broken wrist in a cast, and a 4 block walk to the bus stop….
My mom tried that with me once, but she had to come get me an hour later from the nurse’s office.
If you have a fever, they will send you home. You had a great sympathy cast, too, you should’ve used it.
I bet she did. Now before any crazy gender battle starts, lets say that they are right about the same, the past is behind us, and we need to just forget it. Look to the future. It can be wonderful, or it can be an everlasting war between the two genders, in the comments on blogs everywhere. That is not going to be fun.
Your comment makes no sense. I wasn’t even contributing to the gender bias argument, I was making a point on parents sending their sick children to school.
“I bet she did”? Who is she in this context, and what are you being facetious about? Are you implying that my mother did not, in fact, come pick me up? That she didn’t try to send me to school sick? That the nurse didn’t send me home?
Tf are you saying?
Mmm.. with me and my brother it was:
If the door is closed in the room: He’s practicing something, talking to girlfriend (now wife)
Neither of us have ever been in the bathroom for more than an hour 0.o I would be so bored.
On the computer all day: Yup. And my parents would be too. or watching TV.
Staying after school: He’s doing water polo, swimming… or something with his girl friend. Me: swimming, going to Japanese clubs, going to ASL clubs, attending honor roll….
Sick on a school day: I don’t think we ever faked being sick. Mom’s a lab tech at a clinic. Being sick means being poked in the arm and having cotton swabs down your throat or nose.
…We were boring teenagers. D8
The only reasons I would ever stay in the bathroom for more than maybe ten minutes would be if I was extremely ill or reading a very good book. Which are pretty gender-neutral.
This chart is pretty hilarious in its inaccuracy. I can’t tell if it was written by a guy who is all pissy about his sister supposedly getting treated better than he does, or a girl trying to make a joke about how guys masturbate all the time and everyone knows it.
It really works (badly) either way.
Or MAYBE it’s just a satire of stereotypical parental thought-patterns.
At least the boy doesn’t have to watch twilight…
This is only true for psycho moms who wish they didn’t have sons. For most moms, it’s more like this on the daughter’s side:
Bedroom door locked: “I don’t care who you’re mad at today, it’s your turn to do the dishes!”
In bathroom for fifteen minutes: “Get out of there! There are other people in this house, you know!”
(Incidentally, my brother could hog the bathroom with the best of ‘em, and leave it reeking of Brut besides.)
On the computer all day: “Why are you being so anti-social? Get off that thing.”
Stays after school: “Honey, why were you late coming home from school? Did you miss the bus? Who were you with? What were you doing? Spanish Inquisition!”
Sick on a school day: “You’re not running a fever and your glands aren’t swollen. It’s just a cold. Take some Sudafed and get going.”
True. Quite true. But not all moms are spanish, in fact most moms in the U.S. aren’t, so it would be a maternal inquisition, not the spanish inquisition.
You know.. the Spanish inquisition is historically famous for it’s brutal interrogation (might need spell check on that) on people suspected for crimes during the 15th and 16th century. So with that in mind, I don’t think Kyasarin meant that only Spanish moms do that, but used that as an example of excessive questioning.
Boring nerdfacts indeed but felt like correcting you for assuming something that was wrong.
No-one expects the spanish inquisition!!!!
It had to be said…
Sadly, no matter how much some women try and deny it, mothers DO tend to favour their daughters. Sometimes, it’s nothing more then just asking what she wants at a restaurant first, sometimes it’s this bad as shown in the graph, other times it’s even more extreme. Anyone who thinks there isn’t a bias is probably in the middle of the situation and can’t see it clearly. Am I bitter? Not really. My sister and I have come to grips with the bias our mother had for her while growing up, and we get along fine now with each other. It’s our mother we don’t like.
There were 3 daughters in our house and our dad treated us like tomboys til we hit puberty and then he and our mom turned into the gestapo when it came to what we were doing until we moved out.
thats sadly true, but i also once met someone with three little brothers and two older brothers. she got a lot of special attention from her mom and was dead-drop well-off super-snotty and spoiled, and then somehow i dont think her and her mom are on speaking terms anymore.
In my house it’s
Bedroom door closed:doesn’t care
In bathroom for more than an hour:”hurry up!”
One computer all day:doesn’t care
Stays after school:doesn’t Care
sick on a school day:leave him/her alone,it’s there education
you know, I think girls can masturbate too… im just saying… I could be wrong though…
Pssshhh, what are you talkin’ about?
One day, a teacher said to his students, “Female masturbation is a myth.” So later that day, a girl climbed onto his desk and became a legend.
Tell me moar!!
LOL
You think that, but a jaw-dropping number of parents don’t.
If the bedroom door is closed in this house it either means the boy has his hands down his pants or he’s making a mess involving glue and glitter and other craft materials. In either case I just tell him to clean up and wash his hands when he’s done. Closing the bedroom door is a great improvement over fiddling with it in front of the tv.
Sometimes it’s the other way around. Especially the last one.
For the last two years of school (last year of high school and first year of college) if I was ever sick, it was always, “Are you and your boyfriend having sex? Are you pregnant? I think you might be pregnant! What are your symptoms? Those are symptoms of pregnancy!”
OMG the pregnancy inquisition. My sisters and I had erratic menstruation all through our teens, and this led to a neurotic mother. We hardly even dated any boys, or went out at all, but it was always ‘WHY HAVEN’T YOU HAD YOUR PERIOD IN THREE MONTHS?’
When your mother is this rabid when she asks you this, and you’re only fifteen years old, it makes you sad inside. I was a virgin until I moved out, but I still got the third degree every month.
Wow…. I thought I was the only one with that problem. Except it was my stepmom doing that because she was insane. She started doing that by the time I was 12 because especially my first few years, I was very erratic with my periods. Still am to a point.
What’s worse is that my mother had the same deal. She and my sister both had total hysterectomies in the last decade, it’s serious business.
And yet, she still accused me of whoring around.
1.I never close my bedroom door
2.Never had to poop that long
3.I do this all the time
4.I never want to/can
5.I usually go to school unless it`s SERIOUS,and if I puke at school I get to go home early ^w^
It`d probably be the same if I was a boy.
You should occasionally close your bedroom door. Just…I dunno…every kid should close his/her door from time to time!
IMHO.
this graph is so true from my part (male) but the best part is the first 3 blocks are soooooo true but parents dont suspect anything
well… my parents dont suspect me smoking weed because they know im better than that… and i dont
and the sick thing is that my mother treats me like “oh poor baby you cant go to school sick!” while my dad is like “just give him a god damned dayquil and he should go”
Ur messed up. Sorry, but who masturbates that often? Really?
But I have had my door closed in my room (Which is NOT bad in any way, and I have never masturbated), I have been on my computer for long periods of time, been sick on a school day, and stayed after school. But the assumptions are not true, and these ones aren’t even made in the first place, but I still will say that girls do get less bad assumptions. It’s kind of unfair. And please don’t use the way women were treated in the past to even the scale. Because you don’t have to put up with that anymore, now that it’s gone. Well at least 97% of it in the U.S. There is not much of a difference between boys and girls in this aspect anymore, so don’t treat it like it’s a big deal, Ok?
Like this isn’t biased at all. I’ll bet you fifty bucks that the person who made this chart is male. Really, it’s very sexist and one-sided. I’m a girl, and my parents are always worried I’m up to something (despite my constantly responsible actions), whereas my parents think my older brother is an angel (despite his poor grades and irresponsible actions). I’m not saying this graph isn’t sometimes right, but it’s a clear case of wide, vague generalization.
this seems true in so many ways T_T
though i wouldn’t know a terrible lot about it because i don’t have a sister
but it’s the same for me and my brother… though most of the “male” side of this graph is true for me :3
hurrah for perverted people who have no friends.. though i wouldn’t touch weed, though when the times comes i probably will touch alcohol
you forgot about for girls, hanging out with other girls must mean that we’re invariably being wholesome, good little childrenr, and hanging out with boys MUST mean we’re getting raped. at least that’s how my parents think.
Brumation
SO TRUE
Okay, I being a teenage girl who hates Twilight resent the last one. I have no problem staying home, but if I could choose to watch vampire flicks, I’d watch Blade, thank you very much
Watching Twilight would just make me feel even worse.
I was on the left hand side masturbating thinking about the right hand side.
Suck it up.
thank goodness im a girl
i love being a girl
This is so true it’s funny. Ignore my name.
Hmmm…. according to this either my mother mistook me for a boy or….
Strict parents suck!
mum: “My poor baby! i taped twilight for you, Stay home and rest!”
Me: “NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1″
the last 2 my mom treats my like a son. no wonder I’m gay!
“But that was 4 in the morning when you were sick, you’re fine now right?”
“In the bathroom for more then 1 hour”. I can’t think of anything that we males do in the bathroom (except masturbating) that can take more then an hour, so that one is kind of fair.
Hmm…
Taking a crap
Reading
Taking a Long shower
And why is it only boys that can’t spend an hour without masturbating
what parents would hate their kids enough to tape twilight for them? That’s cruel and unusual punishment.
well said.
‘Scuse me? I’m a teenage girl and I get along fine with everyone in my family. FYI– big sis to four (silly, wonderful, messy, shrieking, artistic) siblings, and I have a great relationship with my parents.
Erm, I don’t know what kind of mum OP had, but my mum sounds suspicously like the Dad, except replace masturbating with “being a derelict”
If my mom taped Twilight for me, I’d rather go sick to school. -_-
True dat!
Women treat girls better,
Men treat boys better.
Women do 90% of the upbringing,
Men do 0%,
the Internet does 10%.
lawl its so true..
It sucks to be male.
I remember my parents used to always search my room, and I got so mad because they never did that to my sister. I finally got so angry that I searched through her stuff myself and handed all her various contraband over to my parents. It was great because it was so much worse than anything they’d found in mine.
yet fathers seem to think the exact opposite
Some girls with lots of brothers and no sisters wish they had sisters. Not me.
Although, if I were sick, I would want to take medicine and go to school. Especially if the alternative was watching Twilight *shudder*.
Still, I’d say that the OP is a whiny boy.
OMFG!!!!!!! HE JSUT MADE THIS FOR THE LOLZ DONT MAKE LECTURE COMMENTS ABOUT HOW UNTRUE IT IS JUST SIT THERE AND LAUGH
The door is closed in their bedroom.
They’re used to it
In the bathroom for more than 1 hour.
He has to poo
On the computer all day.
They’re used to it
Stays after school
He must have missed the bus (Even if it’s like 2 hours after the busses leave. There’s just no excuse there)
Sick on a school day.
Check for fever, if there is one, stay home, if not, go to school
Well.. I kind of do a lot of those things (as a girl) and my mom NEVER thinks I masturbate xD so I guess it’s kind of true.. But when I had pfeiffer disease and I fell of of my bicycle because I had to go 15km’s to school she never said I could stay home o.o
On the other hand: I don’t blame her, since she didn’t know about it and my older brother had a kidney problem and my younger brother got autism..
sooo.. Makes me kind of a classic sandwich-kid.. right?
haha Bull! I guess my parents think im half girl half boy then Oo make me go to school when im sick, always worry about people offering me drugs, and obsess over the time i spend online. Silly isnt it?
“You taped Twilight?! MY GOD WOMAN I WILL GO TO SCHOOL!!!”
Awwww, why can’t that be the same for how my mom treats my brother and me? =[
sadly this is ture
“I taped twilight for you”
That’s okay, i think i’ll go to school :S
Door is closed- “he probably watched a ghost hunter show. He’s paranoid. “