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Things people think I’ll do because I like Heavy Metal.

funny graphs and charts

Things people think I’ll do because I like Heavy Metal

Graph by: Rayray94 via Graph Jam Builder

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  1. =p says:

    But I like scaring little children… although it’s usually the parents who are scared, the little kids liked to stare at my clothing.

  2. sl3dg3 says:

    \m/o.O\m/

  3. Maraxus says:

    Sooo … are people right?

    Anyway, if you want to make people think, you are a normal teenage girl with no vendetta against life, who just likes guitars, than tell people you listen to hard rock.
    [Irony]It’s basicly the same without the baby eating and school shooting[/Irony]

  4. Simmo33 says:

    The only reason a few people think this guy is a normal teenage girl is because of his long, greasy, straight, centre-parting haircut he undoubtedly has.

    • Rathx says:

      yeeeaah…right, i have long NOT greasy hair, that parts at the side kinda, and NO ONE thinks i’m a girl, so you sir, are a horrible Generalization maker

      • kg333 says:

        Some guys can do the long hair thing…there are other guys that really just should not. It makes it awkward for the rest of us when we can’t tell.

        • mary G says:

          This is really sad, but I walked into a store and knocked something down (on accident, mind you) ad I bent down to pick it up, naturally. Some dude ran into me and said, “sorry, sir.” I replied in my oh-so-very-feminine voice, ” that’s okay.” You should have seen the look on his FACE!!!! X^D

    • DRH says:

      “area”? dang, you have some weird zoning laws

    • Rayray94 says:

      Umm… I AM a girl…
      news flash girls listen to heavy metal too!

      • trickster says:

        WHAAAAAT?!

        • madbassist says:

          no reason girls can’t listen to metal…. personally ill take a girl that likes metal over some girl that likes mainstream/rap/jonas brother

        • Pufftastic says:

          My girlfriend is a metalhead.

          She likes newer stuff.
          I like older stuff and Swedish metal!!
          Go dream evil!!
          But we love the Big 4!!!!

          And I play thrash guitar.

      • mabsba says:

        I lol’ed at your graph. A good friend in grad school was always listening to heavy metal OR classical music. He triple majored at Oberlin in math, economics and classical violin. I’m fairly certain that he never ate any babies (although he’s definitely NOT a teenage girl). :)

    • madbassist says:

      you do realize this isnt a guy right…

  5. taitano says:

    There was a time when metal meant “Praise the Devil, for he is awesome cause he makes everyone die.” and “Kill everyone, everywhere, with extreme hate because they’ll never see it coming.” and half of it was about that stuff. That was the 80′s. Now, it’s about freaking people out and making them think you’re into the above stuff, but a lot of songs are about things like going to the market or the awesome date you just had, and say things like “I LIKE CHEESE!!!” in German. LOL \M/ -|- \M/

  6. Michael says:

    The truth is, most heavy metalers are very often angry for no reason.

  7. Uncontinued says:

    I scare children, eat babies, and go on shooting sprees. But I’m never angry. =D

  8. Former Seller Of Smut says:

    We had a coffee club in town where the local hard rock metal-oid garage bands would play. Most people were in black and chains and fishnets and all that good stuff. Every weekend The God Squad would be out in full force telling us we’re going to burn and that we’re sinners and all that good crap.

    Ah, the good ole days.

  9. RJ says:

    I am still trying to figure out why this is funny. All of these things are true. That is what Heavy Metal does to you. Baby Eater!

    Chopin Rules!

    • \(^.^)/ says:

      Could you really be more generalizing and stereotyping and all-around annoying? I’m exactly like this girl and I have never, repeat, NEVER been inclined to eat a baby. It’s funny because most people are, without good reason, afraid of other people who happen to like their music a little darker than everyone else. Ask any of my friends, or this girl’s friends, I’m sure, and they’ll tell you that we’re completely normal, and probably a lot nicer than all of you conformist haters who want everyone to be the same.

      • RJ says:

        Ummm…I was being sarcastic. I grew up in the wonderful late ’70s and early ’80s of Heavy Metal birth. When the MAN bit the head off a bat…yesssss.

        Chill out.

  10. dark shadow rogue says:

    she forgot “singing ancient litanies in languages man was not meant to hear to invoke the elder gods while standing in a pentagram made out of blood soaked papyrus pages of the necronomicon”.

  11. Me :D says:

    Argument void: Girls like Miley Cyrus, not metal.

  12. Gwarhardur says:

    Finally someone who makes clear that liking metal is just having a good taste for music and not being suicidal and freaky.

    • ChromeLynx says:

      Totally right. Now I hope all rappers quit being famous.

      While at it, add Cyrus, Bieber, Jonas and Germanotta (a.k.a. Lady GaGa) as well.

  13. mfranko says:

    I used to generalize like that. Now I listen to a lot of metal (though by no means a metalhead) and I feel a little foolish for my past generalizations. Please accept my apologies!

    • Bugan says:

      Well, for the many metal heads out there, I say you are forgiven. You have realized your foolishness and repent. Good job, for many will not do this.

  14. etwarrior says:

    I listen to a _lot_ of genres, but metal is one of my favorites (Power, Progressive, and Harmonic mostly). I’m also an extremely happy vegetarian pacifist. Admittedly, I don’t really like children…so that one may apply to me…

  15. Cecona says:

    I don’t think that show on adult swim helps any with the stereotyping and generalization of metal fans.

  16. jackisgreen says:

    Suuuuurrrreeee … baby eater!

  17. Keira says:

    My friends think I’m a freak just cause I hate rap, hip hop, and techno with a burning passion.
    Gotta love rock and metal ;)

    • Rathx says:

      yeah, i will have Heavy Metal playing off my phone on the bus thats louder than the radio the only plays “The Hits” (yeah, right) and i get bad looks all the time

    • ChromeLynx says:

      Of course.

      But just to help, maybe the gap between Heavy Metal and Pop Culture should be created without destroying Metal, don’t you think?
      Like “TMF Iron” (TMF is the Dutch Music Video Channel under MTV, and Iron for the Metal)

      Up the Irons from The Netherlands! \m/

  18. DRH says:

    I’ll stop thinking your angry when you stop thinking I’m uncool cause I like music in which I can understand the lyrics! :-P

    • Rayray94 says:

      I dont think people who like other genres are uncool. I just don’t like to be stereotyped.

    • madbassist says:

      last time i checked people couldn’t understand rap…

    • metaltothedeath says:

      Last time I checked those lyrics were produced in a factory designed to enslave you.

    • Reebie says:

      I perfectly understand the lyrics of the bands I listen to.
      I wasn’t aware every metal band screamed. Oh well, I guess this is another guy thinking metal is just angry emo :L

      • ChromeLynx says:

        Dude! They don’t! Listen to some Iron Maiden, or old stuff from Judas Priest (he picked up screaming in the 90s). Especially old metal doesn’t do a lot of screaming. And definitely no grunting. Grunting sucks!

  19. Morthos says:

    Hey, heavy metal is nothing. I listen to death metal. People seem to think I’m a serial murderer who performs human sacrifices every Tuesday afternoon. I never get a chance to explain that the death metal I listen to is melodeath, or music with really good lyrics and instruments that just happens to be growled/screamed.

    • slupine says:

      I like metal/death metal/various screamy things when I’m angry. Ironically it calms me down. Gets it out of my system and then I’m all nice and chipper again.

      If people think that makes me scary… oh well I guess. I can just laugh at them for being afraid of a short, skinny girl. Muahaha.

      Though it doesn’t get me nearly as weird of looks (is that phrase even remotely grammatically correct?) as the goth. People are all like “isn’t it depressing? isn’t it all about death?” ummmmm noooooooo? Most of the songs in the genre I’m most fond of are actually love songs. Boy does THAT screw with people. lol I just like the sound.

      Just like with metal.

      Just like with anything else I listen to.

      • PVT Wolfe says:

        Yeah, people were scared of me in high school too. Because of how I dress, and songs I like. Go figure. I only got scary when people got in my face too many times though. LOL!

        • =p says:

          I used to be about as outwardly hardcore Goth as a poor teenager can get… and I had so many friends! It was kinda weird, since I never really encouraged it. I think a lot of them just wanted the rep of “friend of the scary insane girl who commits random violence”. Not that that rep ever kept the racist hicks from telling me my Goth boots were taking me straight to hell. They never realized arguments like that don’t works on Atheists. XD

          • Pablo says:

            lol, awfully thin skins on all these ‘bad ass, tough as nails’ metal heads.

            Just realise that a large part of your motivation towards this music is that it pisses other people off. You wear the uniform of the metal fan because you know it will evoke a negative reaction, so that you can then puff yourself up as being such a badass in the face of adversity.

  20. madbassist says:

    i feel you. i hate people that judge me by my music… though i like scaring people…

    me and the rest of my (metal) band went to the mall and just got a bunch of weird looks, old people yelling at us, and parents pulling their 5 year olds away from us…

  21. Metal Lover says:

    Death metal is nothing either. ;)

    I have lived in Finland my whole life, and well, the North is the Mecca of metal as some of you probably know. I had some friends that introduced me metal, starting from death metal and some powerish bands (Arch Enemy, CoB, In Flames etc.). I started liking it and listened to a lot of music of this kind. Eventually, I also found some thrash and black metal bands, like Final Breath, Machine Head, Lamb of God, Keep of Kalessin, Immortal etc. After that, I decided to try something even more brutal, grind and some technical death metal for example, Faceless, Scarve, Negrophagist..

    Basically the people who say “I listen to power metal, I’m so metal” make me wanna laugh ;) nothing against power though, don’t get me wrong.

    Luckily people never looked at me as if I was crazy. Even though I listen to Norwegian black metal, it does not mean I burn churches. :P I’m actually none of the things stated in the graph.

    • Metal Lover says:

      Absolutely agreed.

      I also think that even if you do dress in black and listen to metal, it doesn’t mean that you ONLY listen to metal. This is the impression most people get when they see me. When I say I have 9 years experience of playing classical guitar, they’re damn surprised. I love classical music, acoustic music and also some jazz. Mainly metal, yes, but I don’t stick to that.. stereotypics are slowly fading away luckily.

    • nonamenoob says:

      I’m liking your tastes in technical metal. Personally, I’m not “metal” but I like the music. I don’t look like the typical metalhead at all.

      Blind Guardian was my gateway band. I’m a sucker for dark tinged fantasy music and they certainly fit the bill (they also do it without being overly cheesy and with a bit of musical complexity). From there it was a short road to symphonic and progressive (I’m a classically trained violinist, I appreciate the complexities in some forms of metal). Opeth has won my heart and opened me up to new stuff.

      Technical isn’t something I’ve heard of before, but now that you’ve mentioned it, and I’m looking it up, I’m liking it. Thanks for the good stuff you’re sharing out here.

  22. The Demon Lord says:

    as a metal head I would like to add the following to this debate:

    SLAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRR!!!!!! \m/

    *walks out wearing a Blind Guardian T shirt and Hi 5′s the guy who mentioned Necrophagist and starts humming do do do didodo do DEEEEE do do Diddley deeeeeeeee dododo do didodo do DEEEEEE*

  23. Metal Lover says:

    *high 5s*

    A Twist in the Myth was a great album :D

    (damn, misspelled Necrophagist earlier.. It’s all so hard with phone :/)

    • HalloweenDog says:

      *High fives everyone, then strolls casually out humming Brother Wolf and wearing her Sonata Arctica shirt*

      ATITM was quite good.

  24. zach says:

    dude heav metal and death metal!!!!all my friends think im a creepo though and my mom thinks im going to the darkside

  25. Again says:

    “Heavy Metal” music is for LOSERS like goths and nerds.

    Why can’t you like what everyone else likes? F**king drama queens…

  26. Acey says:

    this is my favorite graph I’ve seen so far.

  27. metalhead says:

    omg so true one time this little girl came up to me and said she wanted to dress like me and the mom got really scared AND THEN I LOLED!

  28. buh says:

    I’d rather bring home the girl who listens to metal to meet the parents than one that listens to lady gaga. The first likes what she likes. The latter probably only cares about what’s cool and trendy.

    • Psilence says:

      Do I smell more generalization? You can generalize about any genre/clique besides metal/metalheads, amirite?

      Don’t get me wrong, I am not a scene girl, and I don’t like Bring Me The Horizon, but I find it funny (and by funny, I mean really annoying) that people like you jump all over anyone who makes generalizations/stereotypes about “metalheads” and then turn around and make generalizations about people who listen to other genres of music.

    • madbassist says:

      Metallica + Lamb Of God = EPIC

      im seein them on Mayhem with Korn, Five Finger Death Punch, and Rob Zombie…

  29. Amber says:

    I love this graph

  30. Hollowcaust says:

    You’ve made my day; except for the fact that I get called Emo, and people say I listen to “screamo.” I need new shirts, I’m stuck in Rise Against and Slipknot, but I’m all for Behemoth and Whitechapel these days. Don’t let the stereotypical losers get you down. :D

    • Z says:

      could always be worse. I would listen to Zombie and Slayer and Megadeth and Iron Maiden and nobody ever said a freaking thing to me, but my little brother acts so hardcore, swears he loves “metal” and yet walks like he’s smuggling a christmas ham between his legs with his pants around his knees, listening to my chemical romance and fallout boy on his phone’s speakerphone. I wonder what doctor assembled his brain from so many different facets of human culture.

  31. Eileen says:

    that’s what happens to me, i like heavy metal, so what?

  32. Twinmill says:

    x.x So much hate on Death Metal… at least from what I skimmed over.
    Maybe I like bree-breeing, sweeping and burst picking… both when I do it or when someone who gets paid to do it does it.

    Hey, you up there, you’re awesome for mentioning The Faceless! Wherever you are… >.>

    Coincidentally, I’m a geek who likes anime and apperently, according to everyone else, writes killer romances even if I don’t see it. I swear, Guardian was an Action story where a guy literally takes on an army. It goes to prove nobody’s one dimensional and cliches are retarded.

    Anyway, this is the first meaningful graph I’ve seen in a looong time. Just… don’t worry about those people– they’re just… well, dumb.

  33. Quantumleaper says:

    I ought to show my parents this graph. The reason I don’t have any younger siblings is probably due to their fear that I would eat them.

    Metal is definitely not about Satan-worshipping,not most of it anyways. Especially since my favourite band is Scar Symmetry, their songs are mainly about scientific theories and you’d think they’d calm down a tad….unfortunately they automatically think death growls = Subliminal messages converting our daughter to ~THE DARK SIDE~.

    Ah, well. That’s what headphones are for, I suppose.

  34. Atchy says:

    Rename to : what alarmist Christians and mothers THINK I will do because I listen to heavy metal.

  35. edward says:

    thats soo true!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  36. The Goggles says:

    But babies are delicious!

  37. Raven Moon says:

    \m/ I love this graph \m/

  38. Malarky Mark says:

    I’m relieved that you aren’t going to shoot EVERYONE at your school.

    • Angel says:

      Thanks for bringing that up, I was wondering why it was in all caps. It’s as if she’s saying that she’s only going to shoot a few people, not EVERYONE.

  39. Forrest says:

    There is guitar in heavy metal?

  40. aidan says:

    But I eat little babbies

  41. poncho says:

    Marry me? \m/(>.<)\m/

  42. =p says:

    In highschool, we would walk through the halls in a pack between classes, and sometimes teachers would walk by with their babies. We would stare at them and say “Oh my god take that thing away, you’re making me SO HUNGRY!”

  43. Simon says:

    Maybe we just need to give in… and start eating bebe’s :D Onnomnom!

  44. Brooklyn says:

    Inorite?! People think I have the black plague because they dont know any of my music. I get the weirdest reactions:
    Black Sabbath: Isnt the sabbath on Sunday?
    Queen: Isn’t that the gay band?
    Alice Cooper: Isn’t that the freak with the snake who kills babies?

  45. Kat says:

    Amen sister! \m/ Metal for the Win \m/

  46. bob says:

    I think that graph represents what everyone “will” do if they listen to heavy metal male or female. Metal kicks every other genre to the bricks.

  47. necrophagist rules! says:

    Just want to post here that Necrophagist RULES. that is all. best albums Epitaph or Onset of Putrefaction.

  48. Metal Chicks ftw! \m/ \m/

  49. Psilence says:

    ITT: Lots of people trying to be funny, then being attacked by a hungry pack of wolves (aka “metalheads”) for “generalizing.”

  50. zappafrank says:

    A few years ago I was at the Unholy Alliance show in Cleveland, and after the show, there was a little girl about 4 or 5 sitting on her father’s shoulders screaming “SLAAAAYYYYYYYYERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!”

    Nothing tops that.

    • sl3dg3 says:

      +880_____________________________
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  51. Wynona says:

    That would suck if it were true because everyone and their freaking granny listens to heavy metal

  52. FlyDemon says:

    SOO TRUE!! I hate when people thinks I´m a satanist :@

  53. metal lover says:

    metal rocks like death metal,grindcore,nu anykind rocks!!!!

  54. The Demon Lord says:

    btw has anyone noticed that the total number of votes is:

    1349?!?!

    *sits in cave in norway with candles while blasting Celestial Deconstruction*

  55. DivinE says:

    heh heh heh its a good thing to be the black sheep of modern society
    cause criminals and bums are soooo 2007

  56. M/K says:

    As a sociopathical, canniballistic and quite angry metalhead girl, I feel quite outcasted.

  57. MaxFreak91 says:

    I know, why are people that like heavy/death/industrial metal music thought to be angry, homicidal maniacs? Its a thousand times better than rap.

  58. Hannah says:

    You forgot the section “Worships the devil” according to the kids at my old school, because I wore eyeliner and liked metal, it automatically made me a Satanist o_O bizarre children, they’re stranger than me I swear :|

  59. breathe in breathe out says:

    Metal-heads aren’t crazy psychopaths, they’re just elitist about their opinion.

    • m4a says:

      Stupid ass pop listener. Go crawl in a hole and die.

    • omgidc says:

      Pretty much. Heavy metal is for children, amirite?

    • True. says:

      Haha, yeah, they are a lot of the time.

      Most “metal-heads” on the interwebs are kids in the ages of 14-19 that think being different is the be all and end all.

      “NAH METAL DOESN’T SUCK STFU POP/RAP/ANYTHING ELSE SUX. STOP GENERALISING NOOB”, etc.

  60. Rayray94 says:

    …hm… same to you then…

  61. Celanthas says:

    You left out “Worship Satan”.

  62. Ryan says:

    SSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRR

  63. I Don't Kill People says:

    It was this stereotype that nearly killed me in middle school. In high school now though, I hang out with normal people who listen to alternative rock, I’m happy, and no one thinks I’m an evil satanist.

    It’s probably because I don’t act angry, I’m smiling a lot, and I dress normally. No one can really imagine me listening to metal, but the truth is I’m really into it. I think 70% of my iPod is metal now, and I like going to concerts.

    Oh, and I don’t like nu metal/metalcore much. Mostly death metal, thrash, gothic, power, folk, symphonic metal.

  64. Dark-yang says:

    Actually and (unfortunatelly) this is true. I’m a girl and when I say people that I like heavy metal, they look me like “O.o”

    But, I can hate childrens, eat babies and be angry, I just can’t hide a gun in my room! I have no space for it! It’s full of bats, and dead babies bodies

  65. rosie says:

    Hun, if you really liked guitar you wouldn’t be listening to heavy metal.

    • metaltothedeath says:

      No other genre has such a strong emphasis on talent. Pop “singers” usually can get by with an abysmal voice. Jazz, although nice listening, rarely breaks into very difficult ground. Country is. . . .country. The list continues, but the point is that if someone hasn’t much talent, they fall in metal quickly.

      • Bridget says:

        I disagree about the jazz…real jazz is quite difficult, but the better a performer you are, the easier it sounds.
        It’s like playing Mozart. Beginners can play his piano music, but you have to be very talented and work very hard to play it WELL.

  66. Samuel says:

    Oh, wow. Those people are idiots. Not all heavy metal is freaking evil just because a few popular ones are. I listen to heavy stuff and I’m mostly nice. X_X

  67. AshBash says:

    It’s okay, I’m a girl and I like metal too =).

    Also, I think BBQ babies are the best…..
    HAHA just kidding!

    But no really, its interesting the kind of reactions I get when I tell people some of my favorite bands. When I tell people I like “Children of Bodom” for example, they say “is that like Children of the Corn?”

    Most people would never guess that I like metal though. I used to do the black band t-shirts a lot back in high school. But I wear a lot of normal looking sweaters and jeans now. It accentuates my womanly figure better =p

    Ps. Most metalheads I know like other music too. Guilty pleasures I guess you would call them. My friend loves Jazz. I also like most alternative rock or regular rock I guess you could say. I LOVE MUSE for example. heh

  68. Tobias sebastian hansen says:

    hvis der fandtes sådan en pige (i danmark) var det vidst nok min drømme pige hvis der er en pige derude der hører hard rock/heavy metal, ser sød ud og hader kristendommen så skriv til mig på facebook mit navn er Tobias Hansen.

  69. Doug says:

    Om Nom Nom Delicious babies?

  70. Steve says:

    I feel your pain. You should see the looks I get when I’m blasting Pantera in my quiet, white and old people dominated suburb.

  71. Jeremy says:

    I listen to Death Metal and people think I’m normal.

  72. nate says:

    um, do you people know NOTHING!?
    All metal isn’t satanist.
    I listen to August burns red, Demon hunter, oh sleeper, haste the day, and destroy the runner.
    CHRISTIAN METAL FOR THE WIN!
    also, there are plenty of bands that don’t clasify as christian bands, but are made up entirely of christians. one of the most popular metal bands ever, as i lay dying, is all christians.
    and, when you really think about it, christain metal bands have a higher probablility of being really great bands. i’ve listened to a few songs by non-christian metal. a good 75% of them really sucked. in comparison, it is hard to find a christian metal song i don’t like.
    and christian metalheads don’t want to kill everybody… we just want to kill demons.

    • Meowface says:

      But I heard that the specific frequencies used in metal music, based on the heavy distortion, pounding drums and growling lyrics, actually is one of the most effective way to SUMMON a demon, via audiogenesis. That’s why people were so worried about it when the first metal bands appeared. It seems a bit out of keeping to have Christian metal which is tempting those Helldwellers to come out of their hole.

  73. dan says:

    hahahaha, i feel like i knoe you hahaha

  74. Trevorious says:

    These comments are hilarious. : )
    Unfortunately, they made me laugh so hard I spit out all my babies, and my gun, with which I was using to kill ALL of my classmates, fell out of my hand… : /


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