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*Sigh*
I wish we had murders here, there hasn’t been one for… at least two years, now. Nothing exciting on the news, no serial killings, just a bunch of drug busts. Dull as hell.
Hey, I don’t think there’s been a murder at least for the past 20 years in where I live, probably hasn’t been one for like 50 years or so but I don’t dare to say that for sure because I’ve lived for just 16 years, but seriously, nothing happens here. The may be like one person who uses/has used drugs or so, so there aren’t even things like your fancy drug busts.
ahaha… where i live… like a Murder Every other day!!
Did I mention i dont leave the house?
Haha, hey baltimore buddy!
I live somewhere where creepy teens throw paint at mail boxes and put pads on car windows. WTMFNFMH?
most of my neighbors are gangsters…. *shiver*
Graphs can give you cancer.
In fact graphs were a common factor in every cancer study!
Remember: Something only gives you cancer if someone told you it did, thus you could blame the person for giving you cancer.
People give you cancer? Groucho Marx would love you.
OMG.. you’re onto something!!
It is unbelievable how accurate that is. They just left out celebrity scandals and the like.
Was about a local news station.
Also true for the news(papers) in Norway, if you add a slice with “This item is dangerous to use/eat” For example, a mentally retarded guy went and shot people down at a school, and because he was playing GTA (he was playing less than my friends that own it) “scientist” concluded that playing the game will make you violent as hell.
Norway FTW…
Our local news spends a lot of time on high school sports and abused animal stories.
my local news has NOTHING happening. There was something about a hedgehog, and something about Alice in Wonderland books. Where I used to live, there were murders incredibly regularly
This just in: A new study suggests that watching news programs may lead to increased cancer risk. Details at 11.
While I think your break down of what local news reports is 95% dead-on — and while I know the graph is meant to be a joke — I do feel compelled to point out that the point of news is NOT to brighten anyone’s day. If the local news is not bringing you stories that make you happy, it’s okay. Having said that, pretty good graph!
Correct, the point of the news is not to brighten anyone’s day. The point of the news is to make money.
…And lots of money generally makes a lot of news, it’s a cycle!
He forgot the latest world wide pandemic that is sure to kill several billion people in the next 3 weeks unless you get the government vaccine that’s only available to prisoners and welfare mothers.
ROTFL!!
You forgot the celeb/”reality” tv star “news.” Which should take up 35% of the graph. The rest should be “Jon Gosselin’s whining.”
As I said to the person complaining about the same thing, was about a local news station.
My local news still covers celeb news. Course I’m in Southern California.
Like you said, its local news.
As long as stupid people will eat up the inconclusive cancer stories and video game psychology then they will still be shown no matter how much bull they are.
You mean news ISN’T supposed to tell me what I want to hear?
Hehe, i love how there’s no slice for “Information relative to my own life”
…other then weather.
What, No Tiger Woods? THIS GRAPH IS NOT ACCURATE! /shame\
Thats why i never see News or the newspaper.
how can games lake mario bros. teach kids to kill?
What is this Mario Bros. you speak of? Is it the sequel to Manhunt 37: Subliminal Messaging Edition?
Meh, most of the evangelists who are anti-game violence I notice are oblivious morons who know nothing about games (nor the fact that a good majority of the gaming population is over 25).
Self-righteous people who embark on crusades to spread propaganda based on selfish misinformed ideas are the true scourge to society.
You could have shortened that to “They’re morons” you know…
Hey I have an idea lets all start an anti-Jack Thompson gang.
You’re over a year behind the times. He was disbarred in 2008.
Doesn’t mean im not allowed to hate him.
“The temperature is 14 degrees at the station, 12 degrees up the road, 13 degrees at this dinky little town forty miles away, 14 degrees in Timbuktu, 13 degrees in the boondocks, and 16 degrees at the lakefront. Turning to tomorrows highs, we’re looking at 25 in Wahoo Nebraska, 24 near the fishing hole where we did the Polar Plunge, 22 degrees on the ski hill and 22 at the southside offramp of highway 62 and Town Line Road. For your drive into work tomorrow here, expect temperatures of 14-18 with a light SE wind, warming up to 22-26 by 3pm and in the evening look for temperatures right around 20. Now if you’re in the next city over, you’ll wake up to 15-19 degrees and afternoon highs between 23-27…”
Life is a terminal social disease, It kills 100% of everyone who contracts it.
Is there any food that doesn’t give you cancer these days?
‘Organic’/extremely overpriced foods that are not modified or treated with ‘chemicals’ that will eventually be the only source of food and the downfall of the human race.
Local news: NEW SPEEDBUMP AT THE MALL! And here’s tom with the weather.
Recently, there was a huge news story about the first escalator in the county. *bangs head against window* GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!!!!!!!!
Whahahahaha!! We had a bit of an uproar in my home town when the first (and only come to think of it) McDonald’s opened. I feel your pain.
I think the red and orange should be switched.
haha agreed, other than that this graph made me shout “I KNOW RIGHT!?” well ya know what they say: no news is good news
. however i just endure the sad facts to avoid ignorance 
oh my goodness….. i peed in my pants when i saw this one.
no lie.
Video games don’t tell kids to kill people. Video games tell stupid kids to kill people.
Games don’t kill people! Fox News do(es)!
Screw Fox News, I played GTA since I was 4 (but I stopped when I was 10 because of how dumb it is & how there are tons of violent games that are way better) and im not shooting anyones school as a matter of fact I hate it when that happens, Fact: they are funding fake studies on how violent video games turn kids into killers (Which is not true) when they could use that money to save our country, selfish capitalist pigs are taking the peoples money and wasting the peoples money and making excuses about it, screw ESRB, screw Jack Thompson, screw anti-video game activists, & screw Fox News, and espically screw the fact that smart 12 year old kids like me have to buy a god forsaken Wii & stupid dumb family friendley games with no storyline, no sense, and horrible graphics & not a Xbox 360 (note that I already have a PS3) because of Fox News, anti-video game activists, ESRB, & Jacko the Wacko (Jack Thompson’s nickname)!
Not to get off subject but have any of you ever seen Capitalism a love story, man that was a good movie.
I actually hated Capitalism a love story & Michael Moore
bullseye
i think the red and orange sections should switch. i work at a local tv station, and we 75% of our show is bad news about murders and robbery
This should be retitled to mention this applies only to Fox News.
You lot of pansies should try living in South Africa. At least the scenery is good
See above, Re: Every Australian News Program