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Zombie Apocalypse Objects by Usefulness
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BrillianT
NoT,
Why not include a girlfriend and say: you’ll die if you have it
Shouldn’t forget to put something like a baseball bat or a glove to the must-haves. And most probably pistols are quite useless, unless used as throwing weapons or for bashing.
No way, pistols have unlimited ammo!
l4d win
also semi-automatic rifles are far more usefull than shotguns.
ammo is lighter and less bulky too.
Are you on crack? Zombies are just fine if you shoot them. You need a shotgun because it can blow their heads apart, thereby destroying the brain completely.
all zombie belivers are on crack
all non-zombie believers are in denial and will die first in the zombie apocalypse
U must smoke a lot of crack if you’re looking at this graph then.
People used to laugh at the world being round too
And how fast can you shoot and reload a shotgun
when a pack of 50 howling zombies runs at you?
But a machete, as pointed out by others (no pun intended)
will take a licking and keep on ticking.
Just get that swing action going, left, right, left, right, and you will be cutting a path through that zombie hord in no time.
Well reloading fast enough wouldn’t be a problem because zombies (not rage things or rabid people, classic Romero-esque undead zombies) don’t run. They shuffle.
Actually, you only need to sufficiently damage the brain-there’s no need (or way) to completely destroy it. Alternatively, you could decapitate a zombie to decommission it. Also, using a shotgun to try to kill a zombie would be needlessly dangerous considering the spray of gray matter and blood that, if touched by cuts or open sores, would zombify you and render your endeavor useless, except as tasty bait.
I feel I should clarify. “Sufficiently” basically means “at all”. If you’re doing something to the brain that cause more damage, than, say a slap, you’re going to end up killing the zombie.
yes, all you need is a deagle for its unlimited ammo
Gravity guns too, especially useful at a sawmill.
Nah, a *cricket* bat is clearly preferable to a baseball bat for fighting zombies. It’s flatter, for one thing. :-p
What you really want is a lightsaber. They cauterize as they slice, making sure there is no splatter. Something like a bat, or a shotgun, or (God forbid) a chainsaw is a sure way to become a zombie yourself.
Zibeb is correct. Well done.
Too bad we’re not in England.
If you are in England, too bad you’re in England.
Indeed! I am astonished that the eminently useful cricket bat has not been more widely recommended!
….Paddle. Cricket Paddle.
Hmm, a baseball bat might not be so good if you have several zombies coming at you. It might take a lot of time and energy to beat the undead to death haha.
Of course, a gun would be preferable until you run out of ammo…which is only a matter of time if it is a true apocalypse.
Don’t see why he put bladed weapons so low. The only 100% sure way to incapacitate a zombie is to cleave off its limbs! I would keep a nice long sword at my side at all times… one with good speed and dismembering power such as a katana or scimitar.
“Hmm, a baseball bat might not be so good if you have several zombies coming at you. It might take a lot of time and energy to beat the undead to death haha.”
But you can swing it in a long arc to knock them back, then run like the wind. Depends if your plan is to kill all the zombies or to escape
Incapacitate, yes, but you would save yourself a lot of trouble by just cutting through the skull, thus killing the brain. Even a decapitated zombie can still bite, spreading the infection.
Author needs to read “The Zombie Survival Guide: Complete Protection From the Living Dead” by Max Brooks, get his facts straight. Have fun being zombie lunch when your “must have” shotgun runs out of shells and you traded it for a blade weapon that never runs out of ammo.
Same question as for jzimbert below.
He’s a fiction writer, obviously. As of the time of writing this the zombie apocalypse has not been either not happened or not been broadcast. Using a gun in most zombie situations (as Max notes) will not only alert other zombies in the area to where you are, but the precision in a hostile environment (unless specific use of the said gun has been extensively practiced) will almost always result in a miss. Indeed, with buck shot you have a wide range of scatter fire, however unless you’re at close range (granted you would need to be with a machete) it’s just going to put a lot of little holes in the body of a zombie, which serves no purpose.
Pick up the book, it’s a good read if nothing else for some good basic survival tips.
I’m so glad someone said this. My thoughts exactly (and yes, it is a good book)
So much for going medieval with swords, axes, maces, and whatnot.
Well if you’ve got nothing else it’d work in a pinch.
Actually, Max Brooks, the expert on zombie survival, highly recommends a machete, since it doesn’t require ammunition.
I would like to know where he learned his expertise.
I got myself a FUBAR just for this purpose. Look it up, could save you.
They forgot the single least useful weapon, the chainsaw.
It’s heavy.
It’s only useful while it still has fuel.
It makes enough noise to attract every zombie for several miles.
Ideally, you want a crowbar, katana, and some type of rifle, with attached scope, laser sight, and silencer.
and maybe a machete
What about a flamethrower? Fire kills zombies, right?
Fire will kill zombies… eventually. Unfortunately, it would take quite a while for the outer flesh to burn and eventually destroy the brain. In the meantime, you will have flaming zombies walking around setting stuff on fire. Most likely you, since, I would imagine, it isn’t terribly easy running with a flamethrower strapped to your back.
The handgun is for legging the people who are running faster then you are.
this comment is full of winsomeness
phft real pros use garot wire
Bladed weapons are actually more efficient than guns, for blades dont run out. Ill take 2 machetes over a couple guns anyday
yah but then i kneecap you with my pistol and leave you to be lunch
May work if the zombies are just coming to pummel you, but if they have not completely been reduced to the level of a sea slug, they still might have the basic idea of using ranged weapons such as pulling the trigger of a gun that you left behind taking the machetes, or throwing rocks. If so, then you’re screwed.
But if they can do that, they aren’t zombies. They are just assholes.
exactly
bladed weapons need tobe higher because of one simple rule
A sword doesn`t need to reload
ummm, bow and arrow, gun with bayonet and sound suppressor, sword/big knife, soke grenades, flairs, and solar powered car(?).
Many people seems to forget bladed weapons can go dull and need periodical sharpening.
A blade is way more than mildly usefull
>never runs out of ammo
>Usefull for other stuff
It would depend on the blade a paring knife woul be kinda useless
my all time favorite weapon for fending off the zombies, has to be the butter knife. Everyone knows it completely confuses the zombies and then u catch them off guard and cut em up.
Um, zombies have no thought process. They can’t be confused. They can’t be caught off guard. Not to mention the fact that a butter knife is not a particularly good cutting weapon.
You’re forgetting the banjo. It’s practically the best tool for killing zombies…
WHY?!?!? WHY PUT IN A ZOMBIELAND REFERENCE?!?!?!
All of you with the bludgeoning/slicing weaponry only are assuming that the zombies will be slow moving, living dead kind. What if they’re just merely the infected type and are fast, or super-human fast, moving?
Play Left4Dead with a bat/sword/cricket bat on Expert and see how far you get…
Actually pistols are handing as back up weapons to your primary weapon. Now the best rifle to have is a carbine because they have big clips and the ammo is light and there is a lot of it. Now shotguns are ok but they really arent the best for zombie survivial. The shells are bulky, and the range just is not good enough for killing zombies. Now for the bst survival it would be great to use anything silenced because then the other zombies will not know where you are.
silencers will still give you away. In real life, silencer make gunshots sound somewhat like a car door being slammed. Not the pift you hear in movies and video games.
God. Apparently none of you have read the Zombie Survival Hand guide by Max Brooks, as it looks like only a handfull you will survive the zombie apocalypse. Blades don’t need reloading, Bats are not good defense weapons as the bend easy (aluminum) or break quickly (wood) Yes they may be good if their are 2 or three zombies and you need to quickly grab something to kill them with. But don’t rely on them. Zombies are slow moving creatures (They can’t run). Only humans can become zombies. A crowbar is the best weapon to use as it’s heavy enough to bludgeon the zombie to death yet light enough to carry around. (plus you may need it to pry open a locked door) Shotgun, rifle, or pistol. It does not matter. As long as the brain is destroyed, said zombie is “dead”. Even a rifle that shoots .22LR rounds is good as it penetrates the head but will usually bounce off the back of the skull scrambling the brain. If you hole yourself up. go to a house, get to the second floor and destroy the stairs.
Dude, all you need is a katana to stab the neck or decapitate. I’d just get that and my 22 MP5.
Not the neck, the head. You have to kill the brain, which is where the disease is housed.
yeah, but when you seperate the brain from the body, they cant move, you know… Bcuz of the spinal core
WRONG…blades don’t need reloading!
What you really need is a crowbar. It is a useful tool for opening doors, crates of ammo for your guns, smashing stuff, and even as a last-ditch weapon. Everyone knows that the item of choice during a zombie apocalypse is either a crowbar or a semi-automatic rifle.
SLEDGE HAMMERS, a good sledge hammer is slow, but takes down several zombies at a time
asoaisaosiaosiaosiaosiaosiais EXTREMELY GOOD
Ill personaly pick…. 1 or 2 katanas, a crowbat, a crossbow(
) or a bow and maybe a pack of shurikens (ninja stars) for long range attacks. Ill hide in a certain spot, most likely in a 2nd floor, destroy the stairs and put traps under windows, so they couldn’t climb up (if it was posible by any matter) and ill get a snipe rifle with night vision and stuff… And in the building, ill put oil in the doors, so they wont get in 
…..
If you don’t know how to use katanas, don’t pick them. Or shurikens, neither. They’re damn dufficult to use. The same with the bow.
Zombies can’t climb, but they can get on top of each other and reach the windows.
I live in a 8th floor so all I have to do is destroy the stairs to the 6th and 7th floor and turn off the lifts and I’ll be safe. However, I’ll use a M1 carbine.
My god, you need to read the Zombie Survival Hand guide by Max Brooks or you won’t survive.
Idiots. A shotgun is pointless. If your close enough to use a shotgun, you’re already dead. Which just gives me one more Zack to kill.
i say the perfect wepon is Jusitn Bieber,the zombies will kill themselfs
problem?
Use a Bullpup assault rifle. Easy to aim with due to the magazine not weighing down the front of the rifle, compact, accurate, can be put into automatic fire during sticky situations (You will need precision if you want to make sure that they have a hole in their head so semi auto is a recommendation), lightweight Atleast 2 – 3 Kilograms, the bullets will be enough to make heads explode and you have 30 rounds per magazine.
But of course if you don’t want a weapon that jams all the time use an AK…
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