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Cheezburger Company Blog
First!!!
Pardon me sir, but your coupon says “zirst”.
Second. And true
Did it die?
I keep all my porn in a folder named “My Porn”. I don’t hide my porn from my wife, and she doesn’t hide her porn from me.
Fair enough. Sounds like a healthy relationship to me.
The family that faps together stays together.
ABORT!!! ALT+F4!!!! ALT+TAB! CTRL+ALT+DEL!!!! AAAARRRGHHH!!!!!
power switch on the power supply?
…or the monitor.
or the powerbar by your feet
Quickly remove thy battery.
or run a mac and go Cmmd-Opt-esc
true…and true with the lolcat thing too.
my computer hates meh.
Hmm maybe for younger people:
5 minutes before school starts and you have to print something from the internet to tell the teacher it’s your homework.
hm. i always print my papers the night before school…or at school…or say my comp crashed…yeah.
Or when you are in ICT surfing the internet instead of doing the work just as your teacher is walking behind your desk… Heart attack moments for me.
Yep, so true, and the weird thing is my boyfriend was piiiisssssssed. Oh honey like you never look at porn???
Oh, didn’t you know? I think the Double Standard is an ACG combination on the Y-chromosome.
Believe me, you’ll run into it again, in some form or another. They all have it.
Yes, shortly after that, I learned he had been and still was cheating on me. I should have known something was up if he was projecting on me.
I’m now older and wiser, and now I can look at all the porn I want! My current BF makes fun of me for it because he doesn’t look at porn… ah well, sorry babe, my engine needs to rev up a little before it turns on, and for that reason he doesn’t truly mind.
Interesting… my husband would just be like, “Oh really?” and see it as an invitation to join in on the fun!
100% of trolls:
Continuously refreshing so you can post “first” in the comments section.
Ha! “[X-Axis]“!
Hilarious pun, clever allusion… I salute you, Mr. Submitter.
Actually, I believe the GraphJam builder starts off with [Y-Axis] and [X-Axis], he probably just forgot to delete it.
Clearly the tags are not functioning properly on GraphJam.
Wow, and if you use even a fake tag like it strips it out.
And even if you put spaces in a fake tag that starts with a “” and has the word “sarcasm” in the middle, it still strips it out.
Thank you GraphJam for completely ruining my joke!
If it’s any consolation, I got the sarcasm from the beginning.
Just turn the computer off for Christ’s sake.
this. or ctrl + alt + delete? *eye roll* REALLY not a panic inducing moment
CTRL + ALT + DELETE on Vista w/1 GB of RAM = Slow. Ass. Moving computer.
(Don’t ask. It was my secret, shameful pain for quite some time.)
Simply turning the monitor off does wonders too, you know
yea but if it uber freezez or becomes a sentian being than neither control alt delete or turning off monitor wont work (because the living computer will just turn it back on) i would suggest unplugging it
“over freezes”? (»über« abuse is a pet peeve.)
If your wife doesn’t know you look at porn, you have a horrible relationship.
BUY A MAC
*cough* My browser has frozen on my Mac. Not NEARLY as much as it did on my WinPC, but, it DOES do it.
Buy an Ubuntu Dell
I second that. Plus you have private browsing on Mac and it doesn’t save any info about whatever kind of website you choose to visit when your husband is playing softball or whatever…hypothetically speaking.
Buy a puppy.
New type of computer? no, a puppy… y’know, small, furry, poop in your slippers. never freeze… well… not NEVER… but… they usually avoid it.
but you can’t look at pr0n on them.
You can with magazines and tape.
Oh look, a graph showing that something is more likely to happen the more the situation is inconvenient. How breathtakingly original.
I’m worried about this guy. He’s showing lolcats to his friends but he’s married and has a porn habit too? Yikes.
I hope there not somehow related
And, of course, there’s that one at 75% – “trying to place that last second bid on that one-of-a-kind item you found on eBay”.
LOLcats aren’t porn?
Looks like I’ve been doing it wrong.
yikes
LOLpron
See, this is what confuses me: Why do people who are married look at porn when they can just have sex? If they don’t feel like they’re getting enough, they can always talk to their spouses about it. I mean, you trusted them enough to go into a lifelong union with them, and chances are you’ve already had sex at least once, so why on earth should you be nervous over talking about this with them?
I call idiocy on the guy looking at porn.
Maybe don’t look at porn if you are married. and don’t hide it. wtf. you don’t deserve to be married.
Porn is gross. If you watch porn, you’ll end up raping women and kids. True fact, I saw it on YouTube.
I would submit another: trying to pay a credit card bill the same day it’s due, when you suddenly realize they’re in Eastern time, and you’re not, so that leaves you with only moments to spare.
Pull in the driveway? Thats plenty of time to react. How about “wife walks in the room” instead?
Originality FAIL.
lame
Lends new meaning to “hard reset”.
This brings us to the probability of the whole OS locking up being directly proportional to how much work you’ve done since the last save. But too obvious (and old news) to be worth a graph, without a good creative angle.
True about the driveway. And how about 60 seconds before your fantasy draft is about to begin? Not that I’m bitter…
Using internet explorer, they should all be at 100%.
It happens all the time…
I think part of it is that we’re trained to be embarrassed about sexuality—which is a shame, as it runs interference on a lot of opportunities for fun. We’re also brainwashed into thinking that so much as looking at other people as some form of infidelity, for which we’ll be punished if caught. Utter bullcrap, of course; getting wood looking at another gal in no way diminishes my desire to have sex with my gf (which, fwiw, i want a hell of a lot more often than she does).
It’s because we’ve become a selfish culture where it’s all about ME ME ME. If we don’t get what we want from someone, then society says it’s fine to get it elsewhere.
This might work when deciding what to have for dinner, or which movie to rent … but when it comes to sex, it cheapens it to the level of scratching an itch on your back. No wonder people can’t find satisfaction in it, and keep wanting more ways to ‘scratch the itch’.
They’d be fulfilled if they understood the connection that can be made during lovemaking with a committed and trusted partner, as opposed to ‘cheap thrills’. There’s a deeper connection available that extends beyond the bedroom, but people miss it because they want to ‘get their rocks off’.
Yep, gonna get jumped on, but I reckon that anyone that gets off on watching two actors slutting themselves on camera has real issues. I don’t care if it IS a majority that get off on it … it’s still sick!
Really shocking concept here, but there’s more to life than sex.
sorry, but thats totally wrong