Comments on: Priest and a Rabbi

By: caddmantx

caddmantx — Thu, 19 Jan 2012 19:30:23 +0000

Really? This all stems from one “funny” graph? This is why I don’t like christianity! So many o fyou don’t like the other because of minor differences of opinion.

By: Anna

Anna — Mon, 28 Nov 2011 23:57:16 +0000

Drinking is not a sin but Christians frown upon it because it leads to actual sins (aka shtuff most of us don’t think is a big deal anyway).

By: theninjapenguin

theninjapenguin — Wed, 22 Dec 2010 20:07:46 +0000

*has never “cracked open a Bible”*

I actually agree that it’s not a sin to consume alcohol. What did Christ tell people to drink because it was his blood, and therefore what do people drink at communion? Oh yeah. Wine. Wine=Alcohol.

Still, a pretty funny graph

By: Kyle

Kyle — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 03:31:01 +0000

It’s not a sin to consume alcohol. Alcohol isn’t bad… Getting drunk is bad. Though I don’t know why I’m getting into this, discussing Theology online is pointless. There will always be that idiot who has never cracked open a Bible that knows better than the Prof. of Theology. I suggest you find a Catechism before you start talking about Catholic Clergy.

By: Hmmm...

Hmmm... — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:10:13 +0000

My priest makes amazing margaritas…

By: Hmmm...

Hmmm... — Sun, 27 Sep 2009 23:02:03 +0000

So your favorite quote ever comes from a child molester? Curious…

By: JustForLolz

JustForLolz — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:52:53 +0000

AGREED! THANK YOU!

By: JustForLolz

JustForLolz — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:49:36 +0000

it also says, “bunnies are people too, treat them with respect”, and “ya’ll want a single, say f*#$ that.”
oh, and “buy a wwjd bracelet or go to hell.” totally in the book of Sears, chapter 6, verse 6, word 6.

By: JustForLolz

JustForLolz — Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:46:43 +0000

valid? does god have a big “void” stamp he uses on the “communion forms” he receives daily that have the “grape juice” box checked?

lol, validity in a spiritually driven action is completely internal. if you believe it fulfills what you are trying to fulfill, then it does.

By: Musicmom870

Musicmom870 — Mon, 07 Sep 2009 04:23:51 +0000

That reminds me of a joke! Jews don’t recognize Jesus, Protestants don’t recognize the Pope, and Baptists don’t recognize each other at the liquor store.

By: Eltono

Eltono — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:49:09 +0000

wow, that was SOOOO late i almost cried…

By: Eltono

Eltono — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 08:45:04 +0000

Lol, heres another, what do you do if an irishman throws a pin at you?

ANSWER: RUN! hes got a grenade in his mouth!

teehee

By: G

Wed, 01 Jul 2009 16:05:07 +0000

I knew the Irish jokes were coming…

By: Allie

Allie — Thu, 11 Jun 2009 05:03:16 +0000

Favourite quote -EVER-. So true.

By: Dave

Dave — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 19:25:23 +0000

Priests drinking, a sin? You obviously haven’t met many Catholics.

By: matt

matt — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 17:23:48 +0000

Rabbis can drink you retard

By: sara

sara — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 17:41:21 +0000

you did good. it was very funny! i came into this reply section to find moar jokes, but alas it was mostly sinning/drinking/priesty arguing… let funny be funny people!

By: sara

sara — Sun, 07 Jun 2009 17:39:23 +0000

yay! finally a joke!

By: Athiest

Athiest — Fri, 05 Jun 2009 08:19:32 +0000

Ah everyone shut up and enjoy the stripper!

By: slan agat

slan agat — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:34:19 +0000

So a priest walks into a rabbi…umm…

wait a minute…

…nemmind.

By: slan agat

slan agat — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 21:31:17 +0000

I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians – they are so unlike your Christ. (Mohandas K. Gandhi)

By: beerdrinker, drinker of pilsners, lagers, ales and stouts

beerdrinker, drinker of pilsners, lagers, ales and stouts — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 14:15:12 +0000

I love God. It’s his fan club that scares me.

By: High Priest Caiaphas

High Priest Caiaphas — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 08:36:41 +0000

aaah… the kiss of Judas!

here’s your 30 pieces of silver….

By: Rachel

Rachel — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 01:44:52 +0000

ALL Catholics should be using wine for communion, unless they’re a different type of Christian. Communion isn’t really valid if you’re using grape juice.

By: Darth Yoda-Wan Windujinn

Darth Yoda-Wan Windujinn — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 00:50:58 +0000

Hah, me too! -thinking- “What do priests have to do with rabbits?”

By: bionelly

bionelly — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 22:26:05 +0000

Well, I never *actually* thought it was grape juice, despite my grandmother’s insistence. Even without the translation, given that they didn’t really have refrigeration back then, it just seems logical that they probably wouldn’t have been very big juice drinkers. I just thought it was funny that according to her, everything in the Bible was literally true, *except* that one word.

By: TheJackanape

TheJackanape — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 21:13:05 +0000

whats wrong with circumcision?
without it, the little man looks just plain nasty.

By: Ash

Ash — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 20:28:51 +0000

FMSism is the true way, so get over it =3

By: An Cat Dubh

An Cat Dubh — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 13:56:25 +0000

It says in Psalms: ‘Wine bringeth joy to the heart of a human.’ This is not a mistranslation (it’s my own, actually), I can read the original. It was yayin (wine) and not tirosh (some sort of grape juice). King David thanked God for making booze.
Booze is celebrated by Hassidic Jews, but condemned by the Litaim, except on Purim, when it’s a divine commandment to get ossified till you can barely think.
If it weren’t for the banning of homosexuality, circumcision, women oppressing, and basically everything, Judaism could’ve rocked.
Atheism rules.

By: in_a_box

in_a_box — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 08:00:15 +0000

Err, wrong.

By: in_a_box

in_a_box — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:58:43 +0000

It’s not ruining the joke if the joke wasn’t funny to begin with.

By: bionelly

bionelly — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 07:09:33 +0000

Except according to my Baptist grandmother, Jesus actually made grape juice. Apparently that was the *one* word in the Bible that was mistranslated…

By: Lucy

Lucy — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 05:46:41 +0000

What if the priest is there for a tall order of Jesus Blood?

By: a mind is a terrible thing

a mind is a terrible thing — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 04:34:37 +0000

I love my brick!

By: violet

violet — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 03:43:58 +0000

Hmm, perhaps I am mistaken in my understanding of the term fund-agelicalism, since in truth I agree with you in all the things you mentioned. And I complain to others about the same things you complain about. So what does that make me, other than confused? I love Jesus and I am a Christian; that will never change, not withstanding all the charlatans who go by the same name.

By: Anita

Anita — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 00:24:38 +0000

So glad I’m not the only one! In fact, I spent a while trying to work out what the joke was, and why it was sinful for a rabbit to go into a bar 0.0

By: tyler

tyler — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 22:26:10 +0000

thank you.

By: Shecter

Shecter — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 22:23:19 +0000

I made this venn-diagram just to express the humor behind the “priest and rabbi” jokes. I needed something to put in those little spaces. I never mentioned anything about drinking. What is the connection between going into a bar and drinking? Some bars are known for their chicken wings.

By: hasabrain

hasabrain — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 21:02:58 +0000

uum … drinking isn’t a sin for Jews or Catholics … In fact most of Ireland is Catholic … a country ‘famed’ for its alcohol consumption.

By: Sal

Sal — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:16:27 +0000

Agreed with chad

By: jamus

jamus — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:16:21 +0000

i dont get it. there is obviously an atm machine in the corner of the bar. why not just get money out of that?

By: judas

judas — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 20:12:59 +0000

checkmate

By: chad

chad — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:38:53 +0000

drinking by itself is not a sin, drinking to the point of drunkeness is. Jesus himself made wine

By: CrabCakes

CrabCakes — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:35:58 +0000

I bring as evidence the music of J. S. Bach, the music of the church prior to the rises of funda-gelicalism. Now I present the music of R. Founds, the music of the funda-gelical church today.

I bring as further evidence Aquinas’ Summa Theologica and Schleiermacher’s Der christliche Glaube, the most influential works of Catholic and Protestant theology, respectively, prior to the rise of funda-gelicalism. I now present R. Warren’s Purpose Driven Life and J. Osteen’s Become a Better You, the best-selling treatises of the funda-gelical movement today.

The funda-gelical movement has turned what was a great Faith with awe-inspiring music and intellectually rigorous theology into a cesspool of 1-4-5 chord progressions and trite platitudes spoken by imbeciles and charlatans into headset microphones and projected via Powerpoint display onto screens that occupy the space formerly reserved for organ pipes and a crucifix.

By: Rose W.

Rose W. — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 19:05:00 +0000

Video FAIL. So not funny. Enough with the stingy, greedy Jewish stereotypes already!

By: ewwee

ewwee — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:58:01 +0000

Where is that in the Bible?

By: violet

violet — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:56:36 +0000

I take it that you know a lot of Christians, if not all of them.

By: violet

violet — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:55:28 +0000

You need your own Venn diagram it seems. By the way, please give an illustration from reality as to how I , being the moron that I am, ruined Christianity. Since you know all Christians so well, most especially me, the explanation should be amazing.

By: fish eye no miko

fish eye no miko — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 18:43:55 +0000

Since when is drinking (as long as it’s not to excess) a sin for Catholics? Some of them actually use wine in their communions!
Nothing in the Bible says not to drink (heck, Jesus turned water into wine for a wedding), just don’t overdo it.

By: Captain Obvious

Captain Obvious — Tue, 02 Jun 2009 17:34:27 +0000

Bible doesn’t say “getting drunk is a sin” It says “don’t get drunk because that leads to sin.”