What Customers Are Doing When their Pizza Arrives
Graph by senorpineapple, via our GraphJam builder.
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What Customers Are Doing When their Pizza Arrives
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I won’t be mean but I won’t be nice either. In my opinion it was a fair graph but it didn’t have much of a punchline.
This is hilarious if you have dogs that bark. (Hilarious AND true.)
so much pizza!!!!!
*Peering out my front window watching my neighbor as they try to refuse 11 large ham and pineapple pizzas
You forgot, “Hurriedly hiding their bongs,” and “Pretending they’re not home while giggling behind the door.”
My pizza delivery years are long behind me, but the memories remain unfaded.
What I did once…
Me and four other friends dressed up like goths or people with tons of makeup, answered the door and….. “AHHHH!” the pizza man ran away and we got it for free
Seasoned pizza delivery people won’t even bat an eye at something as lame as that. After the first week, most drivers might even go so far as to tell you you’re lame.
Pffft. Goths aren’t scary. I on several occasions found myself face to face with a very loud and huge dog. On all fours, his head was about as high as mine!
So basically, a pony.
Yeh, pretty much a barking pony.
Same here. Luckily, some of the memories are less painful but still as vivid, such as getting the dog sicked on me and getting the police called on me for animal cruelty because I grabbed the dog by the neck and choked it unconscious. And they figured they’d get a free pizza out of it.
I can’t carry a pizza in my car without being dragged back to those days.
We don’t bother hiding the bongs anymore — the pizza guys are cool.
They also forgot fapping
I hope that pizza guy gets fired.
that vid is so old…
I actually think it might be a fake. I could be wrong, but it looked like there were a whopping 4 slices of pizza in that box.
That and, the money exchange is pretty fast. The guy hardly looks at it, and doesn’t even consider offering change. I’ve purchased oogles of pizza, sometimes from the same delivery people, and the money exchange is never that quick.
I get the impression that the delivery boy wanted to make a fairly sharpish exit… I know I would in his place.
But why would he take the pizza out of the insulated box if he was just going to put it back in the insulated box box once he was done picking it up from the ground? It just seems weird that he would do that. I call fake.
This could be a good a Venn diagram. I see some funny possibilities.
You forgot hiding the bong and trying to clear smoke out of the room in vain.
Totally didn’t see someone else already posted this… hahah
How about “trying to find their coupons”?
Actually, I only yell at her when she won’t stop barking crazily AFTER she realizes we have caught on that someone is at the door with food.
I’m one of those waiting with cash in hand. I’m hungry NOW darnit! Gimme my food and go away!!
GUILTY! I’m a dog yeller atterer.
“Their” is supposed to be “they’re”…. Spelling fail >_>
Pointing out an error when you are wrong and they are right. That’s a fail!
ROFL! Don’t you know that words are so much more special and important with unnecessary letters & punctuation?
Extra fail, it wouldn’t have been a spelling fail anyhow. It will has be an GRAMMAR fail.
AN grammar? Looks like you just added another one to the tally.
So you are saying it should be “Yelling at they are dog…”? I don’t think so.
If you’re not refering to an older graph on here, you fail. Otherwise, sarcasm WIN.
Oh, no. I encourage my dog.
My dog is a watch dog, and he is onto that a person with tasty cheese and meat is coming at the door, the minute the driver hits our drive way. He would love to “watch” the pizza person drop the pizza on the floor, which makes it legally his.
Having drinks in the back yard, where you can’t hear the doorbell or the phone.
Yelling at their kids to get the door so they don’t have to look at you when you get exact change.
“Not responding to your calls, doorbell rings and door knocking because of any large number of stupid things they shouldn’t have gotten themselves into when they knew there was something that was going to be delivered in less than a half an hour.
i’ll second that! ^_^
always the worst. especially when you leave and they call the store later saying “pizza never got here!!!” and manager says “no, she was there, and called you several times, and so did i… you didn’t answer.” to which the general reply is either “… oh. i’m sorry. may i still have my pizza?” or “LIAR! WHERE MAH PIZZA!”
The Green piece is way to big, it should be a little sliver because it never happens.
Slightly guilty….I yell at my cat.
..ever since he tried to escape (and did) whilst i was getting pizza.
I wait at the door with exact change while yelling at the dog and yelling at the kid to grab the dog. Is there a percentage for that?
Wouldn’t you rather us try to get our dogs to stop then let them jump all over you? I always have to calm my cat down. “Hoozat at da dor momee?”
Exactly. My dogs both LOVE pizza (and they never get any, well, mostly), and as soon as the pizza guy comes to the door they can smell it, and they start jumping all over trying to get at it.
How about putting the freaking dogs in another room when you KNOW someone is coming over that will get barked at/jumped on for no good reason?
I’m not a dog hater, I just hate it when people don’t use common sense especially with their animals. Nobody loves your dog as much as you do.
60% Rolling a doobie
40% Smoking a doobie.
There are so many smaller slices that can’t be listed. And add-on to the purple is calling to complain you’re not there when they get back an hour later then complaining that they should get it for free because you took longer than 30 minutes to deliver it (counting the hour they were gone). And, then they complain that you can’t make change for the Benjamin they try to give you for the $5 order they placed so they wouldn’t have to run to the store.
I am ecstatic that I’m not in that line of work anymore.
There’s also “left the house to go get drinks or to the movie rental store” so you get there, you ring the bell, you call, they’re not there, you go back to the store only to have to go right back out to the same numb nuts who will more than like give you a dollar and a weak apology.
There are also the people who do something similar, but they’re so stupid they had forgotten that they ordered a pizza altogether.
My other favorite was the people that left their wallet in their car and had to run out to their apartment complex parking lot to get it. That’s smart.
The only realm qualm I have with this graph is that “waiting at the door with money in hand” should be a MUCH smaller slice of this pie graph.
I do not miss delivering pies one bit…
First, Pizza dude has obviously spilled pizza before, considering how fast he picked that up. Second, LAWSUIT!!!!
“HOO IS IT!”
LOL! Mr. Robinson’s neighborhood, classic SNL FTW!
If my drivers are to be believed, I’m with the people that say the green slice should be MUCH smaller.
And, from what I’m told -the ‘getting it on’ slice should be so much bigger. I still get the confused puppy look on my face when one of my drivers comes back saying they were greeted by a sweaty 1/2 dressed person. What the hell? They ordered a pizza, were told it would be there in 30-45 minutes, and decided they needed sex immediately after hanging up the phone? Pizza = turn on how?
You should believe the drivers on the first part. As for the “half-dressed” part, it’s usually a topless guy wearing a banana hammock. I guess it’s the thrill of the quickie? Or maybe they eat the sauce off of each other? We had a regular customer at my old place of work that ordered every Saturday. We drew straws to see who had to take it. Extra anchovies is a smell that takes a week to get out of the car. The mere sight of a 250# man with Coke-bottle glasses and a speedo is enough to gag. Add that to the thought of the 200# woman with rolls (not the good kind) lying on the couch with a see-through nightie. He always tipped very well if the pizza was still piping hot (lava-like cheese) when he got it. The day before I quit, he told me that he lets his wife rub the hot pizza all over his chest and then lick it off him. After 2 seconds of thought, I decided that was enough of that job and told him I was quitting the next day. He tipped me $20 and wished me luck.
Moral: most of the freaky patrons are very generous.
too true…. you know the delivery guy is coming, and most of the time the dog is going to attack him, so why don’t you just put up the dog/pull up your pants/ turn down the TV? Never understood people when I was delivering.
And yeah, no more hiding bongs…. now they’ll ask you if you have any weed or if you want to smoke with them. Jesus people, we’re delivering pizza, not drugs
i am in the small slice of people who have the money ready, and i don’t yell at my dogs to stop barking, i meet the driver on the porch so he/she doesn’t have to worry about my boys jumping all over. i also give a decent tip. from what i have read here today, i must be one of their favorite customers!
I never thought this graph would make it past voting. It was my first attempt at a graph, and if I did it again I would make some changes. Since it is now spring, I would add a “Old, fat man answering the door in briefs” wedge, and a “Chase the dog around the yard while still holding the money” wedge.
I would have rearranged the wedges to flow better. I just kinda threw it together for my blog, not thinking it would ever be popular.
Aw.. that gives Domino’s a bad name..
I used to deliver for Domino’s and I delivered to all kinds of places. Nudist, orgies, nerds having a convention in their house, etc. You met a lot of interesting people.
…>.> I do that. One time, one of my classmates was delivering the pizza and I was yelling at my two-hundred-pound dogs to get away from the door. I opened it and he immediately told me that I wasn’t a very nice owner. Kind of a shock to see a classmate there, anyway. And kind of creepy that it meant that he now knew where I lived. But whatever.