What Part Of “I’m Not Interested” Do Telemarketers Not Understand?”
Graph by kd7cb, via our GraphJam builder.
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What Part Of “I’m Not Interested” Do Telemarketers Not Understand?”
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you suck ted.
try selling the telemarketers human livers – that scares them off quite quick.
BOWEL SUCKING WHORE!
This joke is stolen from the ONION!!!!
In turn stolen from Monty Python’s Meaning of Life.
And the circle of comedy goes on…
lol…i guess i’m just not that well cultured
intrested should b blue
yeah.
they kind of F@#kd up the graph
Both of you FAIL.
Agreed. The word they understand the least is “Not”. They hear “I’m Interested”.
Yes you’re right, i thought it was just an unclever statement at first but u have a point:D
i didnt catch the double negitive.
whups.
Forgiven.
NO!!! NOT FORGIVEN!!! ETERNALLY CONDEMNED TO SUFFER!!!
What part do telemarketers NOT understand?
They don’t understand “NOT”
It’s not a fail
Double negatives can be confusing sometimes. I would have put in “Telemarketer’s understanding of ‘I’m not interested.’” Then put I’m and Not at 49% each and not at 2%.
Are you seriously analyzing this? And am I seriously printing a snarky comment about you analysis? We need hobbies, my friend.
Maybe I’m a bit late here, but wouldn’t that make not have a total of 51%, and omit interested?
Yes it would, Purpange failed
Purpang said: “Double negatives can be confusing sometimes. I would have put in “Telemarketer’s understanding of ‘I’m not interested.’” Then put I’m and Not at 49% each and not at 2%.”
Just mis-typed. Should have been I’m and *interested* at 49% [each].
*Purpange, sorry
pur-pur-pAAAAANG!
Oops. Yes I mis-typed. put “not” in there twice. Purpange fail. Thanks Andrea for catching on to what I really meant.
No worries. I didn’t get it at first but then I thought “49… 2… 49… 2… some combination of those makes for right.”
I’d have probably done like
49% I’m
2% Not
49% Interested
“I’m Not” and “Not interested” are your main choices for phrases telemarketers mentally filter?
How is this so hard to understand that taking “not” out of “I’m not interested” would be something a telemarketer hears…?
“I’m not interrested” is to complicated for those guys. Better try a roaring “DO NOT WANT!!!”
I asked one if he was terminally stupid, one time. Said “I’m not interested’ and he kept talking
i just say no, and hang up
Then you’d might as well be saying “Please continue to harass me”. Hanging up just invites more abuse.
I’m sure they understand just fine, it’s their bosses who make the quotas and pressure them to keep trying that don’t understand. Try working in the field for a day and see how far you make it.
“Try working in the field for a day and see how far you make it.”
Why would I do that? I’m not a shameless prostitute.
Of course that’s not really fair to prostitutes, who, after all, don’t push their way into your house looking for clients.
“into your house” lol when did PHONES start doing that?
I was a telemarketer too, and it’s not just pressure for quota – our company would actually write you up if you did not give a second attempt and THEN try to sell a cheaper item. If you ignored it enough, you got fired.
I’m sure that’s all true.
None of it changes the fact that telemarketing is wrong, and must be stopped.
but THAT’S why you don’t go and work for a telemarketing company!!!
TA DA!
“REMOVE ME FROM YOUR LIST. GOODBYE.” And done!
Actually, it’s not “remove me from your list”.
It’s “add me to your no-call list”.
I’m not sure, but I strongly suspect that if you say “remove me from your list”, they’ll say “uh, sure, sucker”, and since you asked the wrong thing, continue to harass you. What you want is not to be removed from some list, but to be added to a “no-call list”.
every time the same person/company calls my house, a different phone number shows up on the caller ID. my advice is to write down the phone number used to call you and then report it to the phone company… also, if it isnt a recording, just prank the person saying something like “here let me put my brother (sister, parent, friend, or whoever) on the phone” then just keep switching off between people and you might get the caller to hang up. i saw the prank on youtube…
Wait a minute… someone actually showing sympathy and understanding on the internet?? This is astonishing!!
Yeah, we’ve actually got lots of that here in the fifth dimension. We also have flying cars and self-cooking bacon.
I saw the exact same graph less than a year ago right here. Originality FAIL.
http://graphjam.com/2008/05/05/song-chart-memes-not-interested-telemarketers/#comments
I know someone who asks the telemarketer, “This isn’t a good time for me to talk with you. Could you give me your home telephone number and I’ll call you back around 6 p.m., when you’re having dinner with your family.” ha ha ha Other people I know try to convert them to their religion.
Other people I know try to convert them to their religion.
WIN
I think that I shall now do this. That sounds like an amazing idea
this graph is boring
If it’s so boring why were u interested enough to write a comment?
I was hoping it would cause future graphers to feel scared and a little ashamed before making such a boring graph.
All you’ve done is bore US!
Pur-lease.
Why then, after saying “I’m not interested” do some people carry on listening and then go ahead and buy w/e is being sold.
We’d stop doing it if you stopped doing it…SUPPLY AND DEMAND, MOFO’S!
*runs off before lynch mob arrives*
There is zero demand for what telemarketers push. If there were any demand, you wouldn’t need to use telemarketing, MOFO.
How many people do you harass to get one “sale”?
Did you just admit to being a telemarketer?? Well I respect you for having a job… Good thinking by running off.
Yer right though, as long as folks buy, you folks will “sell”.
Current solution: Press 1 and wait for real person. Then play my Beavis and Butthead soundboard into the phone until they hang up.
Seems to work, only get automated calls now!
When you say “I’m not interested” to a telemarketer, you might as well be saying “Please continue to harass me whenever you feel like it”. Unless you explicitly tell them they may not call you again, you’re giving them permission to keep calling.
What you need to say to a telemarketer is “you are required by law to identify your organization, give me contact information, and put me on your no-call list. You may not call me again, and I’m informing you that if I do hear from you again, it will constitute a consulting contract”. Then if they fail to meet their obligations, you need to report them to your state department of trade and consumer protection. Keep records of the companies that have called you, and of the violations.
If you live in the United States, you can also put your phone number on the national no-call list. Do so. It is very effective.
If you ever buy anything from a telemarketer, please kill yourself. You deserve it for abetting this atrocity.
comment win….the ONLY way you can get a telemarketer to stop talking is to tell them “Put me on you do not call list”
that is all….it is the only thing that gives the person calling you an out to stop talking
“If you ever buy anything from a telemarketer, please kill yourself.”
Win. Win. Win.
comment win! i am literally writing this down! WIN, WIN, WIN! this is helpful because i always get calls from some idiots trying to sell some completely useless crap to me.
*your do not call list
my ‘r’ is having issues
it should be ‘GO TO HELL’
Actually, I worked as a telemarketer to raise funds for a public university I attend.
Believe me, we want to talk to you even less than you want to talk to us.
It’s a job. We get fired for not trying to sell you stuff. Just like it’s a police officer’s job to pull you over if you are speeding. So settle down.
Er, it’s not just a job. It’s harassment. I’m sure you don’t really want to do it, but in fact if you make cold calls, you’re a scumbag, and you’re fair game for whatever kind of abuse we care to dish out. Don’t like it? Stop calling.
It’s not by any stretch of the imagination like a police officer pulling over speeders. It’s far more like a dirty old man stalking young girls.
wow…
you’re officially the biggest douche on the internet…
congratulations. You fail at life.
Er, huh? What planet do you live on, weirdo?
*Er*, I’d rather someone telemarket than me have to pay for them to sit on their asses collecting my tax dollars.
And no, I don’t like them either but you can’t compare them to criminals stalking young girls, douche.
how do you know pfft is a kid? He/she could be a criminal who is stalking you and you could be a young girl. you never know.
Oh, Paul, is that you? How I’ve missed your unnecessarily rude comments, stated in a way that makes it sound like you tried to understand what was said the person before you, but failed because you found them incoherent.
Please, just… don’t post anymore. We don’t find you witty or interesting. If your aim was to annoy us, then congratulations.
Well, that was certainly incoherent.
Care to try again after you’ve sobered up?
Paul… I lol’d. You ought try that.
*ought to
you are a jackass.
Wow, internet rudeness truly knows no bounds.
All I’m trying to say is: understand that most of the people who are on the other end of the line have fallen on hard times, and their choice is to sit at that phone for hours or be unemployed. You have every right to say no, ask us not to call, etc.
And for the record, most telemarketing businesses don’t make cold calls–in my case, we had to call alumni of the university who had donated before. In many cases your information is solicited from places you shop.
While I hate the calls, I do have to say to folks – Quit signing up to win that new car or whatever. How the hell do you think they get your information? ranted there are other ways to get it, but don’t help by providing it to them either.
If your comment requires a scrolly bar, you fail. Just sayin’
I ‘could’ sit back and jerk off, quoting every one of your douche-like posts and asshole-ish retorts…
but I’m better than that, instead, I’ll let the ‘American People’ look for themselves.
PS, nice job being not only a grade A douche but the most accurate stereotype of a Troll I’ve ever seen…
Now that I’m done I’m going to sit back and watch you throw a goats off your bridge.
kthxbai
Save it, dude, he’s just gonna attack everything. If there’s nothing to attack, he’ll tell you that you don’t make sense.
.
Having said that, it’s kinda fun to watch, like dangling a string in front of a kitten. Except, wait, no it’s not actually like that at all. My bad.
Wait, I’ve got it — it’s like tempting some gross creature out from under a rock to get a look at it’s weird, twisted head.
ok, now this is crossing the line. all WE are saying is that most telemarketers are annoying and, if you are not a slimy consumer of random products that probably dont work, you dont want telemarketers calling you back and clogging up the voicemail box on your home/cell phone. and wtf are you trying to say? we are all idiots for disagreeing with you or something?
No joke, man. YOU got called a DOUCHE and a JACKASS for dissing TELEMARKETERS. Now, retaliate. Oh wait, you did. As you were, then.
Its not harassment, real estate agents make cold calls, are they scumbags too pauline? If you answer the phone and give stupid excuses, we will dish out whatever abuse we feel necessary pauline, by the way i made 150k last year doing………YOU GUESSED IT PAULINE…..telemarketing! Dont like it? STOP ANSWERING THE PHONE!
ARE YOU PAYING TOO MUCH FOR YOUR CAR INSURANCE?!?!?!?!1/!?!!?!/!/!?/1///1??!1/1/!/1?/1?!?!?!!!/1?!!!1?1?!?11?!!?!1?
shift key fail
And no, I don’t want to contribute to the policeman fund. That’s what speeding tickets are for.
My son accidentally came up with a response that has become my all-time favorite.
He was in high school, and was at home while I was attending a wake for the parent of a friend.
“Is your mom there?”
“No.” “She’s at the funeral home.”
“Well, is your dad there?”
“No.” “He’s there too. They were in the same car.”
At that point, the telemarketer totally misinterprets everything and launches into an OMG-riddled suite of apology for bothering him at this tragic time…..
BTW, this is both terrible and brilliant at the same time.
haha
My “kid brother” served in Iraq for 18 months, and when he got home his favorite thing to do was to carry on perfectly polite conversations with telemarketers… in Arabic.
They’d get confused and hang up after approx 15 minutes
15 minutes? that’s a long time to carry on a one way conversation in Arabic.
Oh my god, that’s brilliant XD Epic win.
probably the I’m part because u spelled it wrong
Observant win.
Boring graph is boring.
Stupid comment is stupid.
epic win is epic
lol I’m beginning to agree with you.
As much as I don’t like talking to telemarketers, I definitely don’t agree with all the crazies talking about them like they’re subhuman. It’s not like they ENJOY calling people who don’t want to talk to them. Unless they’re masochists.
i always talk to telemarketers like they’re old friends with whom i have not spoken in some time.
i am so alone.
this sounds like a fun game!
They understand, they just don’t want to get fired. Learn this phrase: “Please remove this number from your list.”
Nobody wants to call you and sell you crap unless they can’t find a better job.
And if telemarketing didn’t net more than its cost in sales, it wouldn’t exist. You think these companies have stuck with something that constantly loses them money? Imagine the cost of a call center, computer dialer, dozens or hundreds of phone lines, call time, and employee salaries and bonuses.
America’s buying. I wish I could turn into Red Forman just long enough to say “dumbasses” in his voice.
It pisses you of because you’re too stupid to properly rebuff a call for a product you’re not interested in. If you simply say “Thanks, but put me on your do-not-call list,” it saves us a ton of time – they actually APPRECIATE it when you do that.
Of course, I never did cold-calling. Probably a different animal, that.
I love the really stupid excuses, like “I don’t talk on the telephone.”
Yes, you do. That’s why you’ve got one. Or…
“I don’t like to give out information over the phone,” when it’s nothing but an opinion survey.
oh do true