Comments on: Reasons Why I’ve feared for my life on a plane

By: Jake

Jake — Thu, 04 Aug 2011 02:35:04 +0000

Lost scared the bejesus outta me. For the next year I hated flying.

By: ChaosAngel12

ChaosAngel12 — Thu, 17 Mar 2011 17:33:13 +0000

i got scared after watching final destination! i was 10 so who other 10yr old wouldnt

By: Jackie

Jackie — Sun, 12 Sep 2010 03:47:56 +0000

you know what relly freaks me out on planes? when the woman next to me say her friend has a feeling “there’s something wrong with the lft falangy.”

By: Arandomguy

Arandomguy — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 22:24:08 +0000

Oh… My…. God…. You are the funniest being I’ve ever heard on this sit, B. Phil.

By: el gallo indio

el gallo indio — Sat, 13 Feb 2010 05:10:10 +0000

which airliner doors open inwards? the planes I always get on have the door open outwards…..

By: skedaddle

skedaddle — Sat, 29 Aug 2009 03:17:07 +0000

Wrong pie. I refuse to have mathematics interferin’ with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday-to-Friday plane.

(AMC Family editing = fail)

By: J

Mon, 27 Jul 2009 02:37:15 +0000

I just laughed out loud… thank you

By: gh

gh — Fri, 20 Mar 2009 00:14:07 +0000

boring!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By: B. Phil

B. Phil — Sun, 08 Mar 2009 13:42:09 +0000

The worst, of course, would be hyperactive terrorist kids.

“JIHADJIHADJIHADJIHADJIHADJIHAD!”

“Dammit Achbul, if you do not sit down and shut up, I am blowing up this plane right now!”

By: different Matt

different Matt — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:54:30 +0000

I guess I should change to MattW

By: Matt

Matt — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 17:51:48 +0000

lolz!

By: flamekiller

flamekiller — Wed, 04 Mar 2009 10:57:52 +0000

I’ve had about enough of those motherfu*king snakes on my pi charts!

By: Kiba

Kiba — Tue, 03 Mar 2009 19:50:14 +0000

Pacman has a fever and is vomiting a rainbow??

By: joeschmoe

joeschmoe — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 21:29:50 +0000

Deon saved you the trouble of writing it, and yet you restate what he said, taking even more space and time to do so…

By: joeschmoe

joeschmoe — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 21:26:51 +0000

thank you for that pointless psychological study on this graph.

By: somebody

somebody — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 04:12:03 +0000

I think that’s part of the humor.

See, we know logically that the door can’t be opened in flight, not by the kids near the door (who of course aren’t in their officially purchased seats, but might be over there anyway) or anyone else. And we know that guy is probably in the bathroom because he ate the wrong food before the flight took off. But our minds get on those things and we get scared. We DON’T necessarily think of “terrorists” specifically. Although that would be something actually logical to fear.

We humans aren’t logical, see? That’s part of what makes it funny.

By: somebody

somebody — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 04:08:33 +0000

I agree.

I think it’s part of the intended humor that we “fear for our lives” at the dumbest random crap but it’s not really anything we should fear, but the things we should fear, we don’t. Why? Because we are all humans and all humans are messed up.

By: somebody

somebody — Sat, 28 Feb 2009 04:06:38 +0000

Just because kids aren’t allowed to purchase seats in the exit row doesn’t mean they might not be hanging around over there for some reason.

By: KA

KA — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 19:37:10 +0000

Alex is right.

By: pony boy

pony boy — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 14:33:49 +0000

I love you, Grumpy.

By: Alex

Alex — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 03:09:10 +0000

Seriously, laugh a little. Its good for you.

By: Wownik

Wownik — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 02:30:15 +0000

You people being overly critical and are overthinking a simple lolpie chart. I though it was clever and funny, not like all these garden variety, “what my cat will do or lick/odds something will happen at worst possible time” charts. Good chart imo.

By: MLD

MLD — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 02:13:18 +0000

That’s what I figured. My fear of kids over terrorists is on the ground (or the screaming variety anywhere).

By: Matt

Matt — Fri, 27 Feb 2009 00:44:14 +0000

There’s so much wrong with this graph:
1) The title is inappropriate based on the content. There are 4 “Reasons” listed. The title should be along the lines of “Distribution of my fear among these 4 reasons” or something similar.
2) There are so many other reasons to be nervous on a plane (sadistic stewardesses, getting stuck on the tarmac for hours on end, etc etc) that aren’t listed.
3) No one under 15 (or so — I can’t remember the exact age limit) is allowed to sit in the exit row.
4) The perpetuation of the misconception that an aircraft door can be opened in flight. The physics of it have already been explained here, but I can’t believe so many people just don’t get it.

By: Dina

Dina — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 23:18:28 +0000

So what’s the last fatal Qantas jet crash? Oh yeah, there hasn’t been one. Ever.

By: Vanessa

Vanessa — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:48:35 +0000

hahahahah

By: Grumpy Curmudgeon

Grumpy Curmudgeon — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 21:12:23 +0000

I have yet to hear of any terrorist Sikhs hijacking a plane.

I’d be more afraid of the guy wearing a Confederate flag on his shirt – He’s likely to be the sort of racist retard that would vote for Palin in 2012.

cucuto89 – May you be raped to death, your flesh eaten, and your skin turned into clothing by a man who has exactly the same shade skin, the same religion, and the same choice in clothes, as you do.

By: Seddah

Seddah — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 18:21:40 +0000

lol Win

By: autumnsolace

autumnsolace — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 15:55:48 +0000

What about watching too much LOST?

By: Danny

Danny — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 13:34:20 +0000

What about snakes?

By: Mogan

Mogan — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 11:09:55 +0000

Snakes on a plane should NEVER be outdated, Keith.

Folks, make sure you talk to your kids about the dangers of snakes on planes.

By: FacialTurd

FacialTurd — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 11:02:39 +0000

It’s nearer 2,000 lbs actually.

By: atwork

atwork — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 10:14:59 +0000

hmmm, he left out taking a ryanair flight…but then again thats only a european torture…

By: nathan

nathan — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 09:57:11 +0000

99% of that should be its a qantas plain.

By: Stormrider

Stormrider — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 07:56:28 +0000

I can honestly say I’ve never feared for my life on a plane.

Unless I’m flying it. And even then only a few times.

By: Keith

Keith — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 07:29:52 +0000

This is the point I was going to make. The m—–in’ snakes would have been much funnier, albeit a bit outdated.

By: Seddah

Seddah — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 06:51:06 +0000

The correct answer is “snakes”.

By: Roba

Roba — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 03:48:47 +0000

Woah, woah, Deon. Let’s not get carried away. Chuck Norris can open any door, and most walls, regardless of cabin pressure.

By: weaselpwnz0r

weaselpwnz0r — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 02:00:26 +0000

I vote for this option as the scariest thing that could happen on an airplane.

By: Cptn Obvious,

Cptn Obvious, — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 01:08:01 +0000

Which is impossible, considering children are not allowed in emergency exit row seats…

By: Sal

Sal — Thu, 26 Feb 2009 00:51:35 +0000

If there’s a guy stuck in the turbine engine I’m pretty sure the airplane is going to go down, yeah, but I wouldn’t exactly think that would be common occurrence. ;-P
I mean, I’ve heard of birds hitting airplane engines, but guys? What was he doing out there? Sky diving? Either way, I’m fairly sure the guy in the turbine should really start fearing for his life.

By: TheStabbingPen.com

TheStabbingPen.com — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 23:27:06 +0000

What about no Vodka left?

By: Dina

Dina — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:50:48 +0000

Which is impossible, considering the pressure differential…

By: LHLD

LHLD — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:42:09 +0000

actually everyone else should fear me… i can’t sleep in moving vehicles (great for driving, poor for flying). and this is made even worse by the really annoying person next to me who can’t WAIT to tell me his/her life story.
however, i’m great with children. so, can we trade planes?

By: TiminBoston

TiminBoston — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:41:32 +0000

Oops… that was supposed to be 767′s, not 676′s.

By: TiminBoston

TiminBoston — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:38:21 +0000

Thanks for that Deon, it saved me the trouble of typing it myself. In regards to terrorists staging another 9/11 type attack… never going to happen. You honestly think that fellow passenger will sit idly by while people hijack a plane? Don’t think so. There will probably be some carnage, but believe you me, it’s going to be the hijackers who won’t be walking off the plane when it makes a landing.

For those of you who are into planes and travel by plane there is a great column by a guy named Patrick Smith on salon every week called “Ask the Pilot”. Patrick fly’s 676 on international routes and is a great read to boot.

By: cucuto89

cucuto89 — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:31:41 +0000

what about that guy in a turbin?

By: Frokost

Frokost — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:31:13 +0000

I was looking for something about crash-landing on an island where you are barraged by monsters, polar bears, and Others.

By: Deon

Deon — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:30:11 +0000

Since no one else has mentioned it yet — this is why airliner doors are designed to open inward, against the pressure differential when the plane is in flight. It would take roughly 15,000 pounds of force to open a door while at altitude. No one’s opening that door — not a bunch of screaming kids, not a passenger freaking out who decides to try to leave, not even Chuck Norris.

The dude in the lav is *way* scarier.

By: MLD

MLD — Wed, 25 Feb 2009 21:26:31 +0000

I’m more afraid of kids than terrorists–anyone with half a brain and the tiniest shred of logic would be (at least in the US). And I think the reference is SUPPOSED to be a fear that the kids will somehow open the emergency exit]