We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:-
Please note…. these are all numbered ’1′ ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem… See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit… We have no idea what Mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. if we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is find. Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, its like camping.
That’s funny, I didn’t know that now you need a reason to not use MySpace or FaceBook, but not to worry, I got thousands of excuses ready (and they actually make sense, unlike this “graph”).
First and foremost, why put graph in sarcastic quotation marks? It’s called a venn diagram, it’s a kind of graph.
Secondly, it does make sense. The joke is, you see, that as his mother uses those websites/services and he does not enjoy communicating with her, he can no longer use them, the only ‘safe’ websites remaining being ones she would obviously not visit, like 4Chan and Graphjam.
I hope that helped.
Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy ….. Trouble is these days I’m not safe from the kids on 4chan, caught my oldest /h/ the other week – at least I didn’t catch him (or he catch me) on /b/…
No kidding. My mother just send me a FB friend request last night.
It’s like all the teachers at my high school are now being required to make an account! First the guy who taught my junior history class, then the one who taught senior English, now my mom!
Don’t feel too bad… My Dad sent my best friend and I requests on Facebook. I saw the “[Dad] is now friends with [Best Friend]” thing and messaged her, nearly in tears. “Oh gawds, he added you too? This is awkward!!” She replied by just laughing and saying “What the hell, Kate!”
My sister (26 years old), then “rofl”‘d at me (via google talk) when I told her. It was a very strange evening.
Hmm … “religion” is more subjective than you suggest. There are plenty of people who follow 4chan religiously, enough that they might be said to be of the cult, church, or creed of 4chan … I don’t know that this is a good thing but it’s certainly true.
i’m still on myspace, but i no most are not, which is tempting me… i like myspace, i call it my virtual address book, its great for that, but many of my friends are leaving for facebook, i told maiself i would only do 1 of these type of things… i dont want to have to check others, also myspace is having tech problems, its slow etc… is its death coming soon???
Man, I totally feel your pain on this one. My dad and my grandfather, both former county Republican committee chairmen, joined Facebook in the last month, and I had to do some backpedaling and remove my political affiliation (which was, um, Liberal) so they wouldn’t see it. I’m “out” to most of my family, but not to those two. They couldn’t handle it. I’d be subject to Fox News style hollering until the end of eternity. Ugh. It also sucks that I can’t post funny pics from Pundit Kitchen anymore on there, or they’d know from that.
Lies, your mom was totally on /b/ last night.
Fail to good sir
crap, now its a fail to me, i was meaning to say fail to you good sir
Lies, there are no women on the internet.
hi.
Rules 1 and 2… Do none of you know the rules?
Rule 1: You do not talk about Fight Club.
Rule 2: You do not talk about Fight Club.
Rules 14, 19, and 20.
I know the rules, and I do enjoy breaking them, especially rule 30. >:)
I know rule 34
I know rule 24…
We always hear ‘the rules’ from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. There are our rules:-
Please note…. these are all numbered ’1′ ON PURPOSE!
1. Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don’t try to change that.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If its up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Saturday = Sports. Its like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: subtle hints do not work! strong hints do not work! obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem… See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
1. if something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. you can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit… We have no idea what Mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. if we ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing’, we will act like nothings wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is find. Really.
1. Don’t ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics and Sex, Sport, or Cars.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don’t mind that, its like camping.
That’s funny, I didn’t know that now you need a reason to not use MySpace or FaceBook, but not to worry, I got thousands of excuses ready (and they actually make sense, unlike this “graph”).
AGREED. make the graph!
First and foremost, why put graph in sarcastic quotation marks? It’s called a venn diagram, it’s a kind of graph.
Secondly, it does make sense. The joke is, you see, that as his mother uses those websites/services and he does not enjoy communicating with her, he can no longer use them, the only ‘safe’ websites remaining being ones she would obviously not visit, like 4Chan and Graphjam.
I hope that helped.
Wow that was terrible. Maybe your mom should spend less time online and more time teaching her kid how to make graph that doesn’t suck.
give this man a medal
I second the medal
Although, some joke about someone’s mom on hot or not should’ve been made by now.
Yeah I think i’d vomit if I found my mom on hot or not. No offense to my mom, but that’s just wrong.
Yeah, if this kid has seen his mom on hot or not, maybe his time is best spent in a therapists office.
Yeah, I saw your mom on Hot or Not the other day.
In fact, I saw more of your mom than she’s ever shown off in front of you before. Your mom is such a tramp. ;P
4chan is safe?
I’m with you. One word = Boxxy
Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy Boxxy ….. Trouble is these days I’m not safe from the kids on 4chan, caught my oldest /h/ the other week – at least I didn’t catch him (or he catch me) on /b/…
Safe from your mom. Rule 30.
unsafe from your eyes, rule 34
4chan: ALWAYS SAFE
From parents, anyway
RULES 1 AND 2
THAT’S ONLY FOR RAIDS
Except 34. Everyone follows 34.
True.
Rule 34 on Venn diagrams. GO GO GO
b-o-tt-o-m.deviantart.c o m/art/LOL-110932011
No kidding. My mother just send me a FB friend request last night.
It’s like all the teachers at my high school are now being required to make an account! First the guy who taught my junior history class, then the one who taught senior English, now my mom!
Dammit. *Sent* me a friend request.
Don’t feel too bad… My Dad sent my best friend and I requests on Facebook. I saw the “[Dad] is now friends with [Best Friend]” thing and messaged her, nearly in tears. “Oh gawds, he added you too? This is awkward!!” She replied by just laughing and saying “What the hell, Kate!”
My sister (26 years old), then “rofl”‘d at me (via google talk) when I told her. It was a very strange evening.
My baby-boomer aunt is on Facebook. She’s friended all her grandkids. And a good number of her in-laws as well.
Meanwhile, Hell has just frozen over, and flying pigs were sighted in New Brunswick yesterday.
I’m really glad my mom barely even knows what a computer is.
Nah, what’s worse is that MY mother is on GaiaOnline…
Oh my God, you poor thing. So far that’s still safe for me and my husband.
Does your mom know Boxxy?!
Mine, too >.< ALL THE TIME. Curse the day I left the website up on her computer. And thank God I grew out of it.
Wtf? Since when was 4Chan safe?
Shhh… it’s a tarp.
I like tarps. Does Ackbar know? We can hold it over our heads to stay dry now!
Why are AIM and eMail unsave because your mom also use them?
Everything else I understand because the informations are freely on the internet, mostly visible for everyone.
“Safe” is clearly a relative term here.
Rules one and two are not just for raids they are the core of our beliefs, respect our beliefs.
Hmm … “religion” is more subjective than you suggest. There are plenty of people who follow 4chan religiously, enough that they might be said to be of the cult, church, or creed of 4chan … I don’t know that this is a good thing but it’s certainly true.
Proof that 4chan is dead.
In before sekrit clubhouse.
Ha. Ha. My 20-something son just sent me this site! You’re ruined for life! Better scrap it and start a new one.
Doug’s Mom
Awww mums
*must resist urge to try to sneak a goatse graph on here*
The cancer that is killing GraphJam.
Couldn’t agree more.
Thank god for Bebo!
My mom was the one to show me this graph…
Yikes.
Interesting, but I’ve seen this before.
whats /b/
never heard of 4chan either
You, sir, are retarded
Successful troll is successful.
That Guy? Colm? Lol.
Founded you.
finally, a unique find in all of the internet
the rare “not-knowing-4chan-homo asapiens”
i’m still on myspace, but i no most are not, which is tempting me… i like myspace, i call it my virtual address book, its great for that, but many of my friends are leaving for facebook, i told maiself i would only do 1 of these type of things… i dont want to have to check others, also myspace is having tech problems, its slow etc… is its death coming soon???
Nooooo!! 4chan is the scourge of the internet!! If you must go to a *chan, go to one that is unfail, like 99 or 420!!!!!!
Admit it, you like 12chan don’t you.
Man, I totally feel your pain on this one. My dad and my grandfather, both former county Republican committee chairmen, joined Facebook in the last month, and I had to do some backpedaling and remove my political affiliation (which was, um, Liberal) so they wouldn’t see it. I’m “out” to most of my family, but not to those two. They couldn’t handle it. I’d be subject to Fox News style hollering until the end of eternity. Ugh. It also sucks that I can’t post funny pics from Pundit Kitchen anymore on there, or they’d know from that.
4chan safe? hah! have you ever been on the “henati” section?
Age
You forgot Stumbleupon
Where does Tagged fit into this chart?