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Things Parents Do When Their Kids see Animals Mating at the Zoo


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Things Parents Do When Their Kids see Animals Mating at the Zoo

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» 75 TPS Reports

  1. Steve says:

    You bore me.

  2. Aayin says:

    I wonder how true it is.

  3. Casa says:

    “They’re making a sand castle!” My husband loudly proclaimed as the orangutans bonked dirty. That got all the kids in the vicinity going, “hey look mom! they are building a sand castle, that guy said so!” More small children swarm over to watch the orangutans making “a sandcastle” while several parents were trying not to giggle.

    Quite possibly the weirdest trip to the zoo EVER.

  4. Zee says:

    Explanation^

  5. Chris says:

    Wait a minute… I was told the male was trying to jump over the female and got stuck!

    When I was 4.

    Later, I learned he WANTED to “get stuck”!

  6. IPG says:

    The point of the graph; you have found it. Let me buy you some ice cream now.

  7. Pringle says:

    “Cover their eyes” should be here somewhere.

  8. Emily says:

    I used to work at the zoo, too — yes, this is true. My other favorite was when they would complain, at 2:00 on a muggy July day, that the animals weren’t doing anything, and that I should somehow make them be more active. Perhaps I should get in there and poke the lions with a stick?

  9. RiderLeangle says:

    What would be really funny if you included “Fap” as one of the things to do about seeing animals mating. o_O

  10. Literal says:

    Testing emoticon usage:

    If I encountered this situation,

    First: 8-O
    Then: :eek:
    And … :oops:
    Then: :wink:
    And finally: :lol:
    With the obligatory: :roll:
    And, depending on the organs involved, I might even: :mrgreen:

    • Literal says:

      But I’d never …
      :mad:

      Or:
      :cry:

      Or get:
      :twisted: or :evil:

      Cuz’ one shouldn’t ever lose one’s :cool:

      And :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: :!: at people who have no control over the situation.

      Here’s an :idea:

      If you have any :?: :?: :?: :?: :?:

      Remain :neutral: and ask.

      And if you can’t :grin: and just have to :razz:

      Then :arrow: to your right, and find something better to do.

      Thank you for your patience, and you may now resume your regularly scheduled programming.

  11. Jexxa says:

    They left out the slice for the creepy dad who makes a dirty joke and starts zooming in with the video camera.

  12. da59 says:

    Not me. We were in the Mirage in LV. Lion sitting on glass right above a hallway you could walk through. Pointed to lion and told 7 yr old son… “Look! It’s a BOY lion!” All the people around me erupted into laughter.

  13. Athanar says:

    Most people do that when they go anywhere.

  14. Literal says:

    No, I won’t admit it. If I was locked in a cage all day with a female, I most certainly would not f**k her senseless.
    O_O

  15. Hell Hath No Fury says:

    …and yet these are the same people who use the interwebs solely for porn, you just know it.

  16. Czernobog says:

    You forgot the slice for inventing a pill that makes them numb from the waist down and kills their sexual drive.

  17. lolMiel says:

    I was told they were playing “King of the Mountain,” whatever that means.

    I followed it up with “Why are they making that noise? Is the one on the bottom hurting?”

    While my parents tried desperately not to giggle…

  18. Michelle says:

    Why don’t people who post these bloody charts check a dictionary or grammar handbook BEFORE posting?
    explaination = FAIL
    explanation = win

    • Anomaly says:

      …ok, I just want to check this before I assumed. Is that little dash of hypocrisy there intentional, for the sake of irony, or did you just plain not notice?

      • Nulono says:

        What hypocracy?

        • Anomaly says:

          I was mainly referring to your use of “fail” as a noun – while “win” is acceptable as such, “fail” is and always has been a verb. The actual noun form is “failure”. Thus, you calling someone else out on “not checking a dictionary or grammar handbook before posting” is hypocritical at best.

          Also, ironically enough, you also misspelt “hypocrisy”… even though the word was right there, in my own comment. You didn’t even need to “check a dictionary”, you just needed to swivel your eyes upwards a meager few degrees.

  19. sd says:

    I once went to a zoo where, on a quick glance onto Baboon Island, the alpha male was beating off. There were a group of boy scouts ahead of me and they were laughing so much, it was probably the funniest part of the day out for them.

    I always explained to my kids honestly what was happening, in an age-appropriate way (which sounds very boring, and not at all funny, sorry). At least when they overheard other parents explaining the old “leapfrog” story or whatever to their kids of a similar age, my two would laugh about it later; they loved hearing the parents’ excuses.

  20. chops says:

    Lol.
    Add a slice for kids whose mums are science teachers and got the full explanation, each step of the process -sigh-
    I learned from a young age, never ask a question wwhen you might regret the answer to it.

  21. Nulono says:

    You forgot the perverts.

    Daddy, what are the lions doing?
    I’ll show you, honey.

  22. Hilary says:

    Reminds me of a time at the zoo. I was at the kangaroo exhibit and there was a group of kids. Suddenly one pointed out that they could see the baby’s foot. When I looked, I realized that the particular kangaroo wasn’t a female with a joey…

  23. Danielle says:

    I work at a zoo.,.. we see it everyday its kinda funny cause there’s really nothing we can do :)

  24. Kookaburra says:

    Ha ha ha! I remember when I was little we went to visit my Aunt and younger cousins in San Diego, and went to the zoo. The zebras were getting frisky. My uncle did the “playing” explanation. I, being a child who was forbidden from watching anything other than educational shows, immediately corrected him, and proceeded to wax eloquent on the mating habits of zebras.

    We were never invited along on another zoo trip. :(

  25. leah says:

    You forgot to add the slice, “Stare & laugh as if you were high.” Just saying…

  26. Not from Texas says:

    I went to the zoo yesterday and monkeys were going at it on a hammock. My buddies yelled out “They’re either wrestling or playing.” I proceeded to yell out “There is no third option!” It got some laughs.

  27. TehShay says:

    My parents told me they were on a date.

    In retrospect, I think I should have been told something else…

  28. Rose says:

    I remember taking a Brownie troop to the zoo and the elephants were trying to … put it all together… I was fascinated and we watched for quite a while. I think I told them they they were trying to make babies.
    r

  29. /b/ says:

    When they say the animals are mating, turn and ask them, “Oh, is the webcam pointing the wrong direction again? Gee Thanks.I’ll go fix it.”

    Then head for the back room so they’ll be left wondering!

  30. Nanille says:

    My mother points it out to people
    and then proceeds to laugh quite loudly….
    and takes photo’s….
    She’s rather insane lol

  31. Alex says:

    People are morons. Sad truth. Seriously, some people act like there are only a few morons in the world.

  32. MVaughn says:

    Once saw a chinchilla in a pet store servicing himself…. from that day on I haven’t looked at a chinchilla the same way again.

  33. Someone New says:

    When I was 11 I saw two lorikeets at the zoo mating (well duh there were two of them, if it was only one it wouldn’t be mating, and I’m not sure if birds fap). I was with my friend and being 11 we though it was the funniest thing ever.


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