Things that go wrong in public restrooms
Need some sage bathroom advice? Go Ask A Urinal
Graph by Figueroaj85, via our GraphJam builder.
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Potty Jokes?
Nope, potty emergency.
Am I the only one that when I say guy in next stall exploding I thought of body parts flying and a find red mist rather than any other version?
Nope, I did, and I’m still quite confused as to it’s true meaning…..
Someone help me – what’s “marked”?
C’mon, you know, marked! Like, for death.
Or by the Beast.
The Potty Beast.
i was the one who made this, and it all came from my experiences in a wal-mart bathroom….
the guy in the next stall had explosive diarhea
You need to the action verb.
where? his comment looks fine to me. “Had” is a verb, no?
I believe hr was referring to the graph. But I could be wrong.
I suppose pointing out the obvious would be, well…. pretty useless at this point.
who cares? this is the funniest comment on the whole interweb
I can´t help not believing you
I posted this and by exploding I meant literally exploding, just as Rina had thought.
What about getting arrested for soliciting anonymous sex and having your Senate seat placed in jeopardy?
Is that one of the options?
Win.
What does the graph symbolize? Are these the only events that can occur and the percentage of likelihood that they’ll occur? Or is this just a list with a colored circle on the left?
Either way, this sucks.
Mat, wooh, it’s morning! Cheer up!
Take those anti-depressives!
Seriously, calm down. I can tell you arent exactly the guy to hang out with at parties.
GraphJam is SERIOUS BUSINESS you guys!
WIN! A funny one with lots of possibilities!
I think I just threw up a little…
That gets exponentially less funny by 10% every time I hear it, with an increase of 5% additional annoyance factor. I just had to finally say that to all those ‘I think I just threw up a little (with the possible addition to ‘in my mouth’ as well). Just a shout out to all those people who beat a joke to Beyond-Death.
Seat protectors are silly. Bacteria can walk right the hell through as many layers of paper as they want. And if there’s anything *visible* on the seat, hell with it, I’m outta there anyway.
I didn’t laugh, but maybe I’m just too bitter. Or it’s not funny.
You missed one.
Having your cellphone fall out of your pocket into the toilet – two days after you bought the phone for $300.
Pretty common at conferences and trade shows…if you’re in the stall, and you hear from the next stall a heavy “plop” sound followed by extremely loud cursing, some guy just lost his phone into the murky waters.
Fail…but have been in some of these ugly public potty happen-stances.
In my experience, that green piece should be the biggest one.
Also, Greenpeace should be sucked down by the auto-flush. But that’s just my opinion.
No, definitely the purple slice. Unfortunately.
This doesn’t make sense as a pie chart…
Seconded.
Apparently people have trouble adding to 1 or understanding what “mutually exclusive” means.
Yeah, I hate it when the guy next to me explodes. Happens all the time and I frickin’ hate it.
You forgot “discovering that the used tampon receptacle is missing having just removed said tampon and having to carry it to the regular trash can”.
I *HATE* that one. But what about the dribble a little down your leg (which is rare, men, but DOES happen) and then find out you’re out of toilet paper?
Or that you just began bleeding with no warning whatsoever and said blood has traveled visibly to the outside of your pants, and you’re stuck at work with no tampon, pad, and a ton of male co-workers who will rag (no pun intended) on you for at LEAST the next month about this and won’t be helpful or sympathetic in any way.
I think that last sentence is wrought with grammatical errors and I don’t give obtuse butt-fudging. Whatever that means.
I am both pleased and relieved to say that this has never happened to me, and, God willing, never will.
Oh, no! I just called down the powers of irony on my head. Now, I am positive it will happen to me before the day is over. *Note to self: Stay the hell away from public restrooms, anywhere you can get shat on, and ESPECIALLY the children. They’re good at things like this.*end note.
what about everytime go to leaveyou touch a wet door handle. or when you lean against the sink counter your shirt gets a big wet streak across your stomach.
Epic.
I tend to avoid the wheelchair stall because I’m afraid that someone who needs it will come into the bathroom while I’m there, but when I’m changing my clothes for whatever reason I do use it because I’m clumsy and I’d rather not dip a sleeve into the bowl. I realize you can’t use the other stalls but it is a public bathroom and that is a legitimate reason to use a larger stall.
I’ve had toddlers half crawl under the door before their caretakers rescued me.
I hate it when the big grey feminine product dispensers weren’t considered when the stalls measurements were designed and as an afterthought they are jammed in in such a way that you can’t not touch them with the side of your leg.
green, orange, and pink…always happens
haha
I heard a guy in the stall next to me with Problems. The man’s ass sounded like that foam-spouting vehicle Willy Wonka drove through that crazy tunnel.
ROFLMAO!!!! I seriously just laughed out loud right now! *Still cackling*
That is sosooooooo funny how you just described his asshole
This one is actually funny. Wow, that’s a first….