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This is so true!
Original Well Done Christmas songs is 90% “Grandma got ran over by a reindeer”
I was going to use that as an example of the fourth category needed, “Original Songs That Never Should Have Been Created”.
Or Paul McCartney’s “Simply Having a Wonderful Christmastime.” Seriously, Paul, what happened that year?
sum1 at my house has rosie odonnel and elmo…
I’ve actually never heard a remake or cover that never should have been created. Then again, my Christmas music consists of Bing Crosby, Elvis, and whoever else it is on my Dad’s Billboard Christmas CD. (Oh, and the Christmas Revels. =D)
Don’t forget Nat King Cole!
He was a merry old soul, was he not?
Sadly, this graph is completely true. I wait through so much junk to hear the few Christmas songs I actually like on the radio. Also, “Sleigh Ride” is not supposed to be a slow song. ever.
That’s why I just pop in the old Peanuts Christmas tape I’ve had since I was four. I’ve heard it all a million times already, but it’s better than about 80% of Christmas music recorded during the past ten years, for sure.
I worked a department store for a few years, and I dreaded every Christmas not just because of the customers, but because of the horrible music being played. One of my least favorite was that Beatles song “A Wonderful Christmas Time,” or whatever, but the worst, hands-down, was this version of Deck the Halls sung by a group of weird, off-key women in an odd meter. Pure torture when that’s combined with mean people.
Actually, that was Paul McCartney doing “Wonderful Christmas Time” (anyone can have an off-day, I suppose). I’m with you, though — to this day, I cannot listen to Andy Williams singing “Happy Holidays” because I heard it way too many times during my time in retail (this was in the mid-1990s).
My bad. I have quite a few friends who would scold me for that. But in response to my groans about that song, all the managers responded, “But this is the Beatles!” I really want to find that version of Deck the Halls so I can know what the heck was up. It was so bad, I would have thought it was a joke if it weren’t being played in a store.
Found it.
Everyone, go listen to The Roches’s version of “Deck the Halls” and imagine yourself being yelled at by a disgruntled customer over early bird sales that ended two hours prior, 6 hours into your 10 hour shift. It makes me anxious from the memories, but relieved because I know I don’t have to put up with that ever again. I hope.
Amen to that. And listening to the same ten songs sung by 12 different
people doesn’t help. Especially when you finally realize that
“It’s cold outside” is, in essence, a song more about date rape than
Christmas.
Back then, that was called “persistence.”
I don’t know… looking at the lyrics, I wouldn’t quite say date rape as she’s only saying that she SHOULD say no, as well as the fact that they don’t really do anything but a lot of kissing, but she stays long enough that more will be implied by others. However, it is definitely a sleazy song about pressuring a woman into more than she’d prefer to do and staying longer than she’d rather stay. Definitely not a song in keeping with the Christmas spirit.
Left out a category: Original Christmas Songs that never should have been created.
Like Dixie Chicks and Rosie O’Donnell’s “Merry Christmas from the Family”? I like the Dixie Chicks, and I thought Rosie was cool till she went completely round the bend, but that song never should have made it past the studio door.
Or “Ay Ay Ay, It’s Christmas” by Ricky Martin, for an example! (Yes, it’s a real song. I linked to the video on YouTube…) I actually haven’t heard the one you mentioned.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KMfcfYcIDbg — Hippopotamus for Christmas
I swear I had this on a Christmas songs record when I was a kid, but I can’t remember what it was, or why I had it.
Well bad remakes are still better than “sad” Christmas music, you go from festive sleigh ride to some song about a kids mom dying and spending Christmas with Jesus.
Yep . . . I’m with you. I change the station when that song comes on. Pass the insulin before I go into a sugar coma. (And a double dose of Prozac).
How about:
Do they know it’s Christmastime?
Have another slice of Christmas guilt anyone?
Seriously. Of course then I always thought the answer to the question of whether the starving kids knew it was Christmas depended to a large extent on whether or not their family practiced a Christian religion. If they do, then, yeah, they know it’s Christmas, even if it’s a sucky refugee camp Christmas; if they don’t, well then they probably don’t give a rat’s ass about your holiday.
you also left out “37%: Chipmunks”
Dogs Barking “Jingle Bells” will make you homicidal, especially if you’re already working retail this “Most Wonderful Time of the Year”
The pie should be 100% green imo
lol – and should include Originals that never should have been created
i agree completely!
What about “Last Christmas covers that never should have been created”?
What kills me is the cover of John Lennon’s “Happy XMas (War is Over)” wherein whoever did the cover takes out the words, “War is over if you want it” thereby ruining the whole meaning of the song.
The green category could be expanded to include “Covers made by burned-out pop stars to fulfill contractual obligations when they’ve got no better ideas for albums.”
Originals that suck ass is where on the chart? It needs to be bigger…
Note to Cold Play:
Just because a song exists doesn’t mean you should try to sing it.
File under the green category please.
Margaret Whiting & Johnny Mercer singing “It’s Cold Outside”. Now THERE is a winter/Christmas song.
no. seriously. no good xmas songs. never ever.
Tell me: why do they feel the need to put incessant jingly bells in every. single. Christmas. song. known to mankind? When I worked in retail many years ago I was stuck listening to “chingchingchingchingchingchingchingchingchingchingchingching” for ten hours straight because of a poor sound system (luckier areas got the whole song).
Cheesy off-key lyrics I can cope with, but not the bells… never the bells…
The graph is wrong. Christmas music that sucks: 100%. Good Christmas music: 0%.
mariah carey screeching out a 10 minute song that should only last about 2 minutes.
This made me think of John Lennon’s ‘Happy Xmas (War is Over)’.
I don’t think people really realise that the song . . . is not about Christmas.