Graph by Mike C
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wow…
Actually I think it’s “WOW” (aka World of Warcraft) and it should probably be like 25% worth of this graph.
so true… i worked at a IT helpdesk last summer and hopefully will never have to do that again. the people who call are just plain dumb.
Go to “http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZQma8t6no4″ for a typical IT problem.
Nailed it perfectly.
I seriously wish i could record my calls.
“Ok, um, I just bought and installed a wireless card in my desktop (kinds dumb in itself) and it isn’t working.”
“And by install you mean you did…?”
“I opened my computer and put it in the slot thing.”
“Did it come with a CD?”
“Yeah”
“Did you run the CD in the computer?”
“No, Should I?”
(This is the part where I almost hung up) “Yes, you should use the installer CD, to install a new device.”
*sigh* My life, ladies and gentlemen.
Sorry for calling you every day for a week when my password kept myseriously changing….
And for the time I called when the entire email system went down when you probably already knew that…
But… I’m SO not sorry for the time I caught you and all your IT buddies playing Halo after hours while you were waiting for us to leave so you could reboot servers.
So leave already, so we can reboot halo…I mean the server
Um…most likely there was nothing to do until…you know…you guys left so they could…you know…reboot the servers. -_-
I worked at a restaurant, and when customers refused to leave after closing hours (seriously…who comes in at 8:55 and expects to be waited on when we close at 9:00 pm), the cleaning crew would sit in the back and do the exact same thing.
So. True.
If only my supervisors could understand it!
How can they, when they tend to be the biggest offenders?
It’s like you’ve been analysing our helpdesk records.
The Miscellaneous stupidity wedge should be a lot larger. A LOT larger, but still *golf clap*
Welcome to my hell people….. hit it right on the head
wow lol. Apparently from the comments, it sucks to work as an IT help desk person.
Don’t worry, we hate you Help(less) Desk people as much as you hate us :O
5 years using a computer and user couldn’t find the ‘Backspace’ key…
Locked their NT account because user did not bother to check his CAPS Lock…
The tech asks ‘Can you open your Internet Explorer Please…?’ User responds ‘What is that?’…
We do not expect user to know the Technical part (that is our Job) but if you cannot locate the ‘Backspace’ on your Keyboard, should you be using a computer. Therefore if you fit the above, you are the ‘Helpless’ because you can’t be helpded. We expect you to call us for real issue and not for something even my 3 years old can locate. I had a guy, from California, calling us, in PA, just to ask us who was his local Phone Company and when I told him to check his Administrative Person, he said that I called you because you are the Helpdesk… Next time, I might receive a call from someone needed assistance in locating his shoes or car keys so that he can get to work… God Bless Us…
To be fair to the California guy, my old company had a helpdesk that we had to call for EVERYTHING. When we needed to have a microwave in the breakroom moved from one shelf to another–in South Carolina–we had to call Texas.
That company’s stock is now worth about 1/3 of its value a year ago.
That is why I don’t actually work at a help desk. I’m just a guy that people come to with their problems, and I often charge them cash. It’s really nice because I get to smack people who don’t know things like ‘backspace’.
Yes, I imagine the lusers do hate us as much as we hate them, and for pretty closely related reasons. We hate you because you’re stupid and you hate us because we let you know it.
MOOOOOVE!
Nick Burns reference FTW.
Also, I feel the Graph Artist’s pain: I do the same thing in the air, and the only saving grace I have is when the people who used to ask me stupid questions stop asking those same stupid questions because they know I won’t repsond to them.
Also, I do it on the ground when I’m not flying as well. The applications here are limitless.
Help(less) Desk? No, helpless is what is left in the office when we are out. Our Internal Cust.Satisfaction score is 98%, 1200 users. TRUE users love their helpdesk. : )
that is 100% true my friend
That’s purrfection. Pretty much EXACTLY how the calls I take work out, though there should be a tiny wedge for people you can’t understand at all and therefore have no idea what category they’re under
Thanks Bobby, er, Nick Burns…
I’d say the graph is pretty accurate… I don’t have quite as many lost file/email complaints though…
I believe it. I don’t work in IT, but because I’m known to be computer savvy I’ve become the unofficial IT person in my department–which I suppose is a good thing for the real IT folks, since it means they get less of these calls.
Most of the time it’s a “you just press this button” solution that’s a lot easier to resolve in person anyway.
And if they like you, they can depend on you to filter the really dumb questions or unreasonable requests before it gets to them, and they’re more likely to be accommodating when your department asks for stuff.
I’m missing a large chunk here.
Forgot to plug in the device / install it at all.
You forgot:
-You hid my file and changed it to admin access only.
-You haven’t made the simple calc upgrade you said you would do last month, we could do it ourselves but you won’t let us.
-Is the system down and you just didn’t tell us again?
They fit under “miscellaneous stupidity.” Like one I actually had yesterday — “You replaced my monitor. Now I can’t print reports.”
*sigh*
if you rephrase “Miscellaneous Stupidity” as “ID-10T errors”, it sounds to the general population that more of your day is spent troubleshooting legitimate issues.
For those unaware… ID-10T = IDIOT
“Have you tried turning it on and off again?”
“You always say that”
“Yeah, and 9/10 it works.”
“Oh.”
Lol that’s so true
“Please restart your machine…. (five minutes later) Is it working now?”
“Yup”
Is your computer plugged in? What about the monitor? Are you sure? Check. That’s what I thought.
My favourite when working at college, were the calls from my fellow students:
“Why isn’t it working?!”
“We sent out an e-mail explaining we’re upgrading the security program two days ago.”
“I don’t read campus announcements. And why did you have to change it?”
“Because this is going to make the entire network run faster.”
“But I liked it better the old way!”
Mostly because the old way meant they could run their file sharing programs and bog down the entire campus.
Ahaha this reminds me of The IT Crowd
YES! I love that show. Also because I happen to work for the IT Dept, and we’re actually located in the basement.
My fave is when customers call because ‘OMG NOTHING WORKS!’ on Monday morning and it generally turns out that the cleaning lady unplugged the server to plug in her hoover. True Story. Although the saddest thing is when the same people end up calling EVERY monday and not on of them thinks to check the damn thing is plugged in.
One of my best callouts:
“Help! My floppy disk is stuck in the machine!”
“OK, let me just get my toolkit. Maybe the metal clip is stuck.”
“Erm… OK, if you move the keyboard like so…. the floppy disk can come out.”
My brand of IT support also covers questions like:
- Every piece of software in the company, even if it’s not my field.
- “How can I fax a copy of my passport?”
- “Could you help fix the boiler in the kitchen?”
- “What camera should I get for my boyfriend?”
- “I need to get my diesel car serviced. Can you recommend anywhere?”
I… hate… printers…
And dumb-ass questions about blackberries.
May all you people with electronic gadgets glued to your belts die a horrible death.
Yeah, I’m the guy who’s computer savvy in my department at the school. The IT guy went on an overseas convention for five days. I fielded _WAY_ too many ID-10T errors. The school installed brand new LCD projectors and electric dropdown screens over the weekend. Had to explain to five people why their speakers weren’t working anymore. Not plugged in…
Have also had to do basic Windows tutorials for people. even though I’m not a Mac-o-phile, I have to show the Mac-lusers how to run their machines. Lusers because they refuse to learn, no because they have Macs. Yeah, he hit the nail on the head with this graph!
Hahaha this reminds me of the IT Crowd!!!! “Hello have u tried turning it off and on again?!?” yeah I’m a teen, but my friends r always having me fix their computers…… I bet u all have a lot of “PEBCAC” errors… Problem Exists Between Computer And Chair!!!
IT always hates me… as an analyst I tend to be more “intense” on computers than the average user. Yet I get an average user machine… and *(^&^’ed at when I break it.
It’s true, the only time I ever ring IT is when I lock myself out of my work station… in my defense – I have 6 different passwords though, it’s confusing
Here’s a real life example:
” IT Helpdesk, how may we be of service?”
“Um, my computer is broken…”
“How do you mean broken? Will it start up (boot)?”
“Yeah, all that works, but my auto-cup-holder won’t retract anymore.”
(IT guy takes a second to think about what was just said…)
“Oh my, I regret to inform you sir, that what you are referring to is called the CD-Rom drive. It is used to access data from those new-fangled shiny disks.”
“Ok, well can I get a new one then”
“Of course we will replace it…. on one condition?”
“Thanks, what’s the condition?”
“Don’t use it as a cup-holder anymore!”
After about 10 more minutes re-explaining why it wasn’t a cup-holder, and that usage was the reason it was broken…. sure enough his boss calls with the same problem. (And after replacing the drive, the gears/tray were laiden with dry coffee…)
It is days like these that really highlight the brevity of the “Miscellaneous Stupidity” pie in that chart. (And when you get home, make you curl up with a nice stiff scotch.) It is truely impressive how many of the IT people still attempt to show respect in the face of that blatent ignorance. (Especially when you want to go over there and set them straight with a tack hammer.)
Umm,
Anyone else annoyed with the IT geeks and their “look how dumb everyone else is” web pages?
Nope, not yet
You are so right.
You are so right. I hate these sites.
I am a programmer and when I have some problem I need solution the helpdesk morons usually suppose I’m the stupid one until proven otherwise (about 99%). When they finally get to the point they’re saying
“type this type that” and when doesn’t work they connect me to next person-instead of saying
“sorry our login is broken you have to force username (i.e. use a flag in their program)”.
Could have saved that 30 minutes to do something productive-IF any one of the 3 people I got connected to would just have said that one sentence. Luckily the last one of them figured out I’m not a moron and connected me to the local person who _knew_ something about computers: 4th was the basic basement-geek who immediately stated just that one sentence. My response: “thank you”.
I did not see it fair to tell him that all other persons so far were morons who thought like the picture on top of this page.
They forgot (Cant email this 1GB file) and (Troubleshooting poorly designed software)
Helpdesk 3 years Earthlink…….
Now happily the IT Director 12 years later somewhere else never having to speak with the public about their:
1: Coffee Cup Holders
2: Mouse with the “Dust Cover” on it not working
3: Monitor not plugged in
4: Computer not plugged in
5: Oh I deleted a bunch of stuff in the Windows Directory to free up space
6: My computers too slow (Maybe you should stop garage sale shopping)
7: I deleted something, then emptied the recycle bin…. now I want it back
8: My email is not working (Maybe because you’re not online)
9: My internet isn’t working (Because you plugged the Ethernet cable into the analog phone jack)
10: (My personal favorite) I ran this registry mechanic, or cleaner, or other random registry editing program and now nothing works.
Whats worse is when i have called the morons who work on these desks (i assume they are too thick to get a real job) and they treat me like an idiot.
they cant solve the problem assume its user error every time, and after demonstrating their ineptness, they ask me to drop it in.
I understand that these people are very poorly paid, and in my experience you get what you pay for.
idiots, yet to find a help desk person from any business who has a clue.