Comments on: What my parents think I’m doing

By: Anand

Anand — Tue, 21 Jun 2011 08:22:16 +0000

Reading porn? Is that how people masturbated in Shakespearean times?

By: JC

JC — Sat, 24 Oct 2009 02:52:55 +0000

agreed.

By: SnknBlln

SnknBlln — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 23:08:06 +0000

I made him one but i eated it

By: Adam

Adam — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 19:14:13 +0000

I agree, the first thing I thought was the titles are the wrong way round!

By: John

John — Tue, 16 Jun 2009 15:19:40 +0000

Switch them.

By: Caity Lynne

Caity Lynne — Fri, 27 Mar 2009 07:00:21 +0000

-snaps-

gotta love scrubs

By: 1337

1337 — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:12:19 +0000

“Oh, I’m ROCKING OUT ON MY GUITAR!”

By: 1337

1337 — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:09:20 +0000

Well, first you have to cut a good-sized hole in the back. Then, line it with some nice soft velvet or cotton. Then….

By: 1337

1337 — Sun, 22 Mar 2009 18:07:38 +0000

SOMEBODY GIVE THIS MAN A COOKIE

By: ME

ME — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 01:48:16 +0000

The sound of falling water disguises the faps.

By: jonas

jonas — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 13:36:09 +0000

scrubs reference five

By: tyler

tyler — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 07:40:27 +0000

to indicate that it’s an action in motion, since saying toying with myself in a sentence isn’t very clear, you know? like this
-glares-
it seems much more like i would actually glare now, doesn’t it? LIES.

By: tyler

tyler — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 07:38:13 +0000

YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL MAN -hugs-

By: linin

linin — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 00:24:42 +0000

LOL. This graph is backwards. Totally. It explains what I’m doing right now.

By: Machine Fun

Machine Fun — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 02:48:34 +0000

So Speedy it doesn’t even register on a graph.

By: rob

rob — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 02:47:49 +0000

so that it doesn’t get bleeped or censored

By: rob

rob — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 02:47:30 +0000

reverse reverse!!

By: ROTFLOL

ROTFLOL — Mon, 19 Jan 2009 19:13:10 +0000

why does everyone put asterisks around *Masturbating*?

By: Shibfilet

Shibfilet — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 05:35:34 +0000

lonely-high-five!

By: KrIsTeN

KrIsTeN — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 03:34:08 +0000

HAHAHA i cant stop lol *masturbating!!*

By: m

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 21:27:11 +0000

other way around

By: Jenny

Jenny — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 07:17:03 +0000

You forgot a very large portion on the left for sleeping. At least that’s what I usually end up doing whenever I go up there to do anything else…

By: n8

n8 — Sun, 16 Nov 2008 06:01:51 +0000

shouldn’t doing homework be much smaller?

By: Speedy

Speedy — Sun, 02 Nov 2008 11:50:39 +0000

Lol I think I’m like the only other person this applies to…

By: HostessCupcake

HostessCupcake — Thu, 30 Oct 2008 20:21:40 +0000

You should do those things WHILE jacking off…

By: Anthony

Anthony — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:45:23 +0000

True dat

By: Ham

Ham — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 20:56:55 +0000

Yeah, Mom! I’m “playing guitar”.

By: Zachary

Zachary — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 19:04:07 +0000

There should be at least a sliver of yellow in the first pie. A big sliver. Cause otherwise… it just seems like he’s lying.

By: Beck

Beck — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 15:22:12 +0000

LAWL

By: Caroline

Caroline — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 13:56:24 +0000

Brilliant! Jacking off WIN!

By: joe-m

joe-m — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 10:09:24 +0000

By: Bob

Bob — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 07:21:20 +0000

That’s why he’s not jacking off…

By: BAM

BAM — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 05:29:42 +0000

Are you saying gay men don’t jack off? Think about that for a second.

By: Sprite101

Sprite101 — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 04:18:24 +0000

Is it just me or is this backwards. Or is the OP gay?

By: Stereotypo

Stereotypo — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:26:00 +0000

You should increase the size of the right chart so that it encompasses the chart on the left. Then it becomes a Venn diagram+pie chart explaining that you masturbate 100% of the time, but sometimes you manage to multitask.

By: Shadow Link

Shadow Link — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 00:58:23 +0000

No, he just never jacks off in his room. Bathroom = lack of evidence = FTW

By: Shisno

Shisno — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:22:58 +0000

“Homework” slice is too big.

By: Destin

Destin — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 23:17:13 +0000

If you stopped letting them catch you, they wouldn’t think you’re always masturbating.

By: !null

!null — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:52:24 +0000

Of course it does.

By: lt. obvious

lt. obvious — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:51:51 +0000

this graph makes me want to attack myself…

By: Ink Dragon

Ink Dragon — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:51:36 +0000

Sounds like how my parents think of my brother

By: faunablues

faunablues — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:18:07 +0000

“watching tv” and “reading” *could* mean masturbation…

Both pies are clearly missing sleep, and assuming this guy is a teenager, should take up half of both pies.

The first pie could be true… some prefer to masturbate in the bathroom. Or on a bus, if you’re ’808′ or ‘spam’.

By: pwner of N00bs

pwner of N00bs — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 22:07:11 +0000

reading porn and jacking off!
Using the computer to surf porn and jack off.

The other two you might as well be jacking off

By: Obama

Obama — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 21:19:59 +0000

i agree, its quite the opposite in my house

By: Danger

Danger — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 21:17:58 +0000

Exactly what I was thinking.

By: John McCain

John McCain — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 20:43:50 +0000

Why yes it is!

By: Chinamerican

Chinamerican — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 20:21:21 +0000

There needs to be a section for “drugs” in one of the graphs.

By: Mr. L

Mr. L — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 20:21:12 +0000

Enjoy your Newly-won Prize, good sir.

By: Ham

Ham — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:44:07 +0000

Ah, I remember when I was young and stupid and was in deep denial about all the masturbation I did too. Ah, teenagers. Boy they sure have us fooled.

“…be out in a minute!”

By: xylotism

xylotism — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 19:27:52 +0000

You don’t have to make a graph to justify yourself to us. Just keep it quiet and I won’t say anything.