Comments on: Pessimistic Optimist

By: Rachael

Rachael — Sun, 20 Sep 2009 02:40:02 +0000

wow. really unnecessary. *shudder*

By: Adam

Adam — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 18:55:57 +0000

You must be a VERY pessimistic pessimist: you’re full of poop.
Does an optimistic pessimisst think the glass is half empty of poop? eww…

By: whatif

whatif — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 13:16:28 +0000

What if your poop is half filled with glass?

By: Brianna

Brianna — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:47:53 +0000

demitri martin joke

By: Brianna

Brianna — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 21:47:06 +0000

Yes. JOKE STEALER!

By: Rob

Rob — Wed, 07 Jan 2009 23:49:36 +0000

everyone beat me to it.
Why would you even collect blood in a cup?!

By: fiona

fiona — Sat, 01 Nov 2008 05:46:21 +0000

wait…. shouldn’t that be 200%

By: micah

micah — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 23:49:05 +0000

yeah…. it was funnier when demetri martin made that joke.

By: Hello

Hello — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 21:44:44 +0000

NO ONE CARES

By: Kendo

Kendo — Wed, 29 Oct 2008 03:22:31 +0000

Is the glass half empty, is the glass half full… WHY DOESN’T ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE FORKS?

By: Reno

Reno — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 20:25:33 +0000

Good graph… FOR ME TO POOP ON!!

By: Crim

Crim — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 19:42:32 +0000

So you drink poop?

By: bopalo

bopalo — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 18:04:21 +0000

last time i listened, my asshole didn’t make the sound “poop” when i pooped. it was more of a squishy slide-y sound

By: x-bert

x-bert — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:17:21 +0000

Actually, your statement depends on the solidity of said poop.

By: Kr0w

Kr0w — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 16:09:14 +0000

That’s the Emo version…^^

By: j-dawg

j-dawg — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 15:48:07 +0000

Demetri Martin is one of the best comedians ever. =)

By: Shance

Shance — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:07:30 +0000

OWND

By: Shance

Shance — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:06:52 +0000

Internet FAIL

By: Shance

Shance — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:05:41 +0000

You have opened my eyes

By: Shance

Shance — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:04:45 +0000

RAWNG

By: Shance

Shance — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 05:03:49 +0000

Baby’s blood?

By: Kaa

Kaa — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 04:47:41 +0000

But if it’s coming from a baby … hold up now we’ve got a half empty baby blood glass … don’t ask me why we collected the blood in a glass …

By: Turk

Turk — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 04:45:10 +0000

But what about the baby blood?

By: Luis

Luis — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 02:36:47 +0000

There is no optimist and pessimist crap. The glass is half full if you’re pouring and half emptying if you’re drinking…and that’s it.

By: emygirl

emygirl — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:02:12 +0000

I agree. Doesn’t anyone notice when their exclamation points *magically* turn into 1′s?

By: REAL ENGINEER

REAL ENGINEER — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 01:00:27 +0000

NOPE Glass is 100% too big. It could be reduced by 50%

By: Sid Waterman

Sid Waterman — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 00:08:33 +0000

They left out the optimistic paranoia option: the glass is half full–of poison.

By: Athanar

Athanar — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 22:43:06 +0000

Both half full AND half empty. Happy that it’s still got half but sad that half is gone or was never there. At the same time.

By: payko

payko — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 21:43:48 +0000

AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNND…

killed it.

By: Roy

Roy — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 21:22:51 +0000

My glass is neither half full nor half empty. It’s just twice the size it needs to be.

By: guillermo_04

guillermo_04 — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:49:13 +0000

Anybody noticed that the ratings are half full? or is it half empty? I dunno, but it’s funny either way.

By: static monkey

static monkey — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 17:33:20 +0000

What would the Optimistic Pessimist say? You can’t leave us out of the equation.

By: The L

The L — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:14:44 +0000

No, not really.

By: The L

The L — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:13:52 +0000

Um, no, technically the glass is still full in all cases. Half with liquid, half with air, unless you’re on the moon in which case the water would either freeze or evaporate because of extreme temperatures.

By: gabi

gabi — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 16:13:47 +0000

you obviously didn’t get what sgk meant.

By: NoseMoking

NoseMoking — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 06:05:11 +0000

Ah, but that’s assuming that the glass is currently holding the maximum amount it will ever hold. Clearly it has been designed for expected higher capacity than seen at present.

By: boB

boB — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:44:44 +0000

…it’s also a palindrome.

By: Shisno

Shisno — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:38:54 +0000

Also, at least it’s original.

By: Shisno

Shisno — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 04:38:12 +0000

Either way…
*masturbates*

By: Dexaan

Dexaan — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:56:04 +0000

Engineer: Glass is 50% too big

By: Athanar

Athanar — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:51:42 +0000

Optimist
—–
Glass is STILL half full.
Glass is ONLY half empty.

Pessimist
—–
Glass is ONLY half full.
Glass is ALREADY half empty.

Either one can be used by both. That’s why I hate the phrase so much. It’s confusing.

By: Shelena

Shelena — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:46:07 +0000

you’re retarded. have a nice day!

By: Luis

Luis — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 03:01:34 +0000

Cuz if it’s going to a baby, then it’s a half full glass of baby blood, it’s gonna be fine, don’t worry about it.

By: Ruby

Ruby — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:59:59 +0000

This is the correct answer.

By: cb

cb — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:52:39 +0000

think again. half of the glass’ capacity is empty.

By: Jingles

Jingles — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 02:13:41 +0000

Glass half full… of POOP ZOMG ROFL!!!111!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!11

You said POOP!!!!!11

By: bagnew

bagnew — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 00:09:20 +0000

and what about the other sort, the sort who go: “what? what the hell? this isn’t my glass! Mine was bigger! And full!”

By: j-dawg

j-dawg — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 00:07:57 +0000

Well then that’s even more difficult, is it going to a baby or coming from a baby?

By: payko

payko — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 23:57:13 +0000

what if it’s a half full glass of Baby blood?

By: snafutti

snafutti — Sat, 25 Oct 2008 22:37:25 +0000

optimistic insomniac

glass half full of esspresso