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Cheezburger Company Blog
FIRST!
NO ONE CARES
demitri martin joke
You must be a VERY pessimistic pessimist: you’re full of poop.
Does an optimistic pessimisst think the glass is half empty of poop? eww…
Vessel inadequately engineered for predicted contents (in all three cases).
This is the correct answer.
Ah, but that’s assuming that the glass is currently holding the maximum amount it will ever hold. Clearly it has been designed for expected higher capacity than seen at present.
Yeah thought it was funny, pretty random, but funny.
I typically find there is no possible way to have a glass half empty, because there is no half of 0.
think again. half of the glass’ capacity is empty.
you obviously didn’t get what sgk meant.
Um, no, technically the glass is still full in all cases. Half with liquid, half with air, unless you’re on the moon in which case the water would either freeze or evaporate because of extreme temperatures.
Actually, your statement depends on the solidity of said poop.
Would’ve been funnier without that third column, and without the explicit half full/empty labels.
RAWNG
demetri martin did this joke.
Yea, I was just about to say that…
Baby’s blood?
But what about the baby blood?
Yes. JOKE STEALER!
personal fav version:
optimist sees the glass half full.
pessimist sees the glass half empty.
realist asks, “who the hell has been drinking my beer?!”
Optimist — glass half full
Pessimist — glass half empty
Me — “who the hell cares? Just drink the stuff and we won’t be having this argument!”
So you drink poop?
“poop” is my favorite onomatopoeia. think about it.
…it’s also a palindrome.
You have opened my eyes
last time i listened, my asshole didn’t make the sound “poop” when i pooped. it was more of a squishy slide-y sound
wow. really unnecessary. *shudder*
optimistic insomniac
glass half full of esspresso
what if it’s a half full glass of Baby blood?
Well then that’s even more difficult, is it going to a baby or coming from a baby?
Cuz if it’s going to a baby, then it’s a half full glass of baby blood, it’s gonna be fine, don’t worry about it.
But if it’s coming from a baby … hold up now we’ve got a half empty baby blood glass … don’t ask me why we collected the blood in a glass …
Demetri Martin is one of the best comedians ever. =)
everyone beat me to it.
Why would you even collect blood in a cup?!
Either way…
*masturbates*
Also, at least it’s original.
No, not really.
AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNND…
killed it.
and what about the other sort, the sort who go: “what? what the hell? this isn’t my glass! Mine was bigger! And full!”
Glass half full… of POOP ZOMG ROFL!!!111!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!11
You said POOP!!!!!11
you’re retarded.
have a nice day!
I agree. Doesn’t anyone notice when their exclamation points *magically* turn into 1′s?
Internet FAIL
Optimist
—–
Glass is STILL half full.
Glass is ONLY half empty.
Pessimist
—–
Glass is ONLY half full.
Glass is ALREADY half empty.
Either one can be used by both. That’s why I hate the phrase so much. It’s confusing.
Engineer: Glass is 50% too big
NOPE Glass is 100% too big. It could be reduced by 50%
OWND
wait…. shouldn’t that be 200%
What would the Optimistic Pessimist say? You can’t leave us out of the equation.
Both half full AND half empty. Happy that it’s still got half but sad that half is gone or was never there. At the same time.
That’s the Emo version…^^
Anybody noticed that the ratings are half full? or is it half empty? I dunno, but it’s funny either way.
My glass is neither half full nor half empty. It’s just twice the size it needs to be.
They left out the optimistic paranoia option: the glass is half full–of poison.
There is no optimist and pessimist crap. The glass is half full if you’re pouring and half emptying if you’re drinking…and that’s it.
Good graph… FOR ME TO POOP ON!!
Is the glass half empty, is the glass half full… WHY DOESN’T ANYONE CARE ABOUT THE FORKS?
yeah…. it was funnier when demetri martin made that joke.
What if your poop is half filled with glass?