Comments on: Practical Uses of Keys (according to my ex-girlfriend)

By: me

me — Mon, 30 Nov 2009 20:10:36 +0000

you all kind of lose…
it’s titled “practical uses for keys according my ex girlfriend”
so it makes perfect sense by saying that in her mind the majority of practical uses involve vandalizing his car.

it says nothing about how many times she actually keyed the car or unlocked things.

sorry these comments are outdated, but it was annoying me.

By: NotAPoet

NotAPoet — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 21:39:51 +0000

I thought the ‘practical uses’ part was pretty funny, because it sets up an expectation of some mundane kind of graph. Then, it creates a nice mental image of this person who is nuts enough to key a car, and sane enough to also do some locking/unlocking. Finally, there is the nice touch of how Mike handles the situation with wry humor when you know he has to be really ticked off.

By: James Van Leuvaan

James Van Leuvaan — Wed, 17 Sep 2008 18:36:41 +0000

holy crap… it is just a joke … who cares what graph is used to represent whatever for whatever… the point is that ‘ex keyed car’ …

i think some of you need cable, or call girls if you’re going to dissect the crap out of something that is obviously not real. without a point, other than mike’s simple intention of “make graph, ex-gf gets to live, mike gets it off his chest”

i thought it was funny. simple. i didn’t need to dissect the crap out of it… geez…

it really is true isn’t it? opinions are like assholes…

By: Alex

Alex — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:19:37 +0000

s/now/not/

By: Alex

Alex — Mon, 15 Sep 2008 16:19:01 +0000

I actually see the pie chart as effective. Regardless of the numbers, the
measurement in the graph is “total time my ex-girlfriend uses her keys”,
and the percentages show how much of that total time is used for what
purpose. I naturally saw the larger percentage first, then moved in
the direction of the small percentage, where the punchline lies, “Unlocking Things”.

I think a line graph would now show the contrast as well visually
(i.e. showing a large line and a short line), versus a huge
massive piece of pie embracing a tiny one.

By: Brett

Brett — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 21:42:55 +0000

Now this is funny. My ex got a hold of my hood, broke the key on it.

By: Eddy

Eddy — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 20:10:26 +0000

Well, the numbers chosen simply aren’t accurate. Some other types of graphs might not require numbers, such as a venn diagram. Pie charts, however, inherently require numbers as they imply a percentage. If the data range was limited to say, day the car was keyed, it might be different (say, 1/5 of key use that day was on a car). I think a line graph might maintain humor and accuracy, plotting appropriate uses of keys against days used (or perhaps stages of a relationship?)

Also, I love that my criticisms bother you enough that you continue to berate me. Are you personally bothered by my stickling for accuracy?

By: Neil

Neil — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 17:39:01 +0000

It would be accurate, but it wouldn’t be funny. The humor in this graph is the exaggeration of the situation, not a realistic presentation of the actual numbers.

Plus, you continually say that he’s using the wrong graph *type*; yet all you criticize are the actual numbers he uses, not the graph type. So, do you know the difference between graph *values* and graph *type*? Something tells me that you don’t.

Either way, the fact remains that I find this graph funny because it’s an absurd exaggeration of a situation, not because it’s statistically accurate.

By: Morgaine

Morgaine — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 14:03:04 +0000

I once put ketchup on tampons and pads and put them all over an exes car, but I have never keyed a car.

Oh, and I was in high school when I did the ketchup thing. At the time it was hilarious, now…not so much.

By: woo

woo — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 09:32:25 +0000

Selfish parkers deserve everything they get! I usually write angry notes, but I lost my thesaurus.

By: Courtney

Courtney — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 05:35:29 +0000

I have been tempted to key cars before, but only if they are, say, taking up two parking spots in a full parking lot.

Never wanted to key an ex-boyfriend’s car though…

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 05:18:14 +0000

lol thanks =]

By: Lilli

Lilli — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 05:10:22 +0000

Ya know.. I thought it was funny as hell. Good Job

By: Dexaan

Dexaan — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 02:28:00 +0000

I expected this for a cheat sheet.

By: Eddy

Eddy — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 01:07:45 +0000

Well, if you had better representative data (massive amounts of key in lock use versus a small amount of key on car use) compared to say, a chart of the amount of her key use that has upset you (which would be 100% key on car use) you’d have something both accurate and descriptive of the situation.

By: Mike

Mike — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 00:45:35 +0000

a) i hate country music b) SHE cheated on ME and left me when i found out

By: kuribo

kuribo — Sun, 14 Sep 2008 00:24:22 +0000

If she dug her keys into the side of your pretty little souped up four wheel drive, maybe next time you’ll think before you cheat.

By: Mike

Mike — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 22:17:53 +0000

All you’ve done is criticize my ability to use the correct graphing style, but you never told me which type would be more appropriate. This is me being curious, not a smartass: what graph type would you suggest to make it funnier?

By: brewski

brewski — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 21:33:18 +0000

Mebbe the last time you had sex WAS when Nixon was running for office. Well done.

By: Eddy

Eddy — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:22:17 +0000

You know, it would be a lot funnier if you had a correct graph. What I really enjoy about graphjam is that it takes data out of situations that don’t really require graphs and makes rather exacting, technical diagrams to explain things that really don’t need graphs. Its the absurdity of the concept I enjoy, not so much the individual situations or jokes.

By: Neil

Neil — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 20:07:53 +0000

someone crazy enough to key someone’s car doesn’t need much of an excuse. i would say that what he did was that he made the mistake of going out with a crazy person for a girlfriend!

By: katy

katy — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 19:54:01 +0000

In case it helps, my first reaction was “Ouch!! Poor Mike!”. Then I wondered what he had done …

By: Neil

Neil — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:57:31 +0000

Don’t let it get to you. These people nit-pick over every graph they see, every time there’s the slightest flaw. It’s because they have nothing better to do with their lives, and it makes them feel important if they can point out in imperfection in someone else. Just ignore them.

By: Neil

Neil — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:55:29 +0000

It’s supposed to be funny, Eddy. Exaggeration is a form of humor. Ever hear comedians say something like, “The last time I had sex Nixon was running for office,” or something like that? It’s meant to be funny.

If you want scientifically accurate charts, I suggest you find a different site. This is a comedy site, not a news or science site.

By: Mike

Mike — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:32:09 +0000

I made the graph to try and bring humor to an otherwise serious/angering situation, not to impress people with my knowledge of what graph is the correct one to use in what situation.

By: Mike

Mike — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 18:29:22 +0000

lol, i make a graph to express a point and people get irritated because i didn’t use the correct type of graph to express said point?

shut up, understand the joke, and move on

christ

By: Nauds

Nauds — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:46:19 +0000

SUX 4 U!

Ololololol.

By: Kaiser Steve

Kaiser Steve — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 17:13:20 +0000

Graph type fail.

By: Eddy

Eddy — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:55:45 +0000

Yeah, unless she’s keyed the car 16 or so times compared to the 17th time, when she unlocked it. There’s a frakking lot of fail on this site when it comes to these graphs- arbitrary numbers assigned for values in bar graphs, things expressed in pie charts that have nothing to do with percentages…

By: Neil

Neil — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:31:57 +0000

ouch.

By: Morgan

Morgan — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 16:00:00 +0000

Sorry for the redundancy.

By: Morgan

Morgan — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:59:16 +0000

I think this should’ve been a different type of graph, methinks…

By: adskfjö

adskfjö — Sat, 13 Sep 2008 15:20:48 +0000

meh..