Comments on: People who drive Hummers

By: Kim

Kim — Tue, 30 Aug 2011 20:03:34 +0000

Driving your baby around is the perfect reason to drive a Hummer. With so many assholes on the road blowing stop signs and talking/texting on their phones, I wouldn’t put my baby in anything smaller.

By: Chris B

Chris B — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 18:57:32 +0000

Excellent!!! These folks are jealous little hippies that drive around in there beat up old Volkswagon buses, pissed off because we ruined their high!

By: Agroprom Research

Agroprom Research — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 19:56:36 +0000

I drive an H1 Hummer. 10,000 pounds, as configured. nearly 8 feet wide. 6.5L Diesel Turbine. I take solace in knowing that after 10 years of owning and driving one, not ONE person has had the balls to call me a douchebag, and I doubt they ever will. Even when I am out of the vehicle, and they have the face to face chance. Only on the internet do I find such bold opinions about it. Oh, and I CAN afford it, and your wives digs it. She just doesn’t tell you.

By: brian

brian — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:58:18 +0000

the hummer is the only american made vehicle to come standard with a drivers side douchebag.

By: dogheadbuttchow

dogheadbuttchow — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 01:41:06 +0000

Good one.

By: Spencer

Spencer — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 23:48:36 +0000

Heh heh, get a load-a-this douchebag ^

By: 42

42 — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 01:28:07 +0000

HEY! my dad used to drive a hummer!
and a Smart car is doucey.

By: Tisi

Tisi — Mon, 10 Nov 2008 23:36:13 +0000

Before reading any comments, I was going to say the same thing I guess it’s easier this way… no more arguing about whether the small circle should be totally inside the big circle or halfway or what…. But I certainly know person or 2 who fit that middle category!

By: SammyDKat

SammyDKat — Wed, 22 Oct 2008 01:07:05 +0000

I’m in LA, and Mustangs, Camaros & Porsches are still the douciest cars of all.

By: Ryan G

Ryan G — Tue, 07 Oct 2008 19:18:27 +0000

That chart is a highly accurate breakdown of Hummer drivers.

By: suki

suki — Sun, 28 Sep 2008 00:41:59 +0000

Actually, the biggest douchebags of all are the ones who ride around in stretch Hummers

By: Caylee

Caylee — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 22:26:39 +0000

Also a valid representation of douchebags-cadillac escalades.

By: Source

Source — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 20:26:25 +0000

Neither is solipsism.

By: David

David — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 14:47:54 +0000

That’s not a Venn Diagram. Also, he did say Authorized Military Personnel. There are more douche bags than military, especially when it comes to Humvees and variations of it.

By: Lescat

Lescat — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 05:19:39 +0000

Envy is not a virtue.

By: kellyg

kellyg — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:54:27 +0000

And this chart is necessary…why? spread hate why don’t you.

By: Dubs

Dubs — Fri, 05 Sep 2008 11:54:26 +0000

Completely accurate. Guy has one across the street from me. And he falls into the main percentile.

By: G

Fri, 05 Sep 2008 02:26:52 +0000

Were getting off topic, Is there anything wrong with the cars? probably not. The real focus is the people behind the wheel. This is the type of car that tends to attract the people who want to “rule the road”. These people often drive like d-bags, and are therefore labeled as such. This is not a matter of being a gun-totting Republican, or a tree-humping liberal, douches know no political status.

By: Uncle B

Uncle B — Sat, 30 Aug 2008 20:27:34 +0000

Hummers are intimidating! When driving around in my Smart car, the larger Hummers appear threatening. Transport trucks are less maneuverable and for the bigger part slow and avoidable, but I always seem to encounter a jackass with nothing better to do with their time than drive in rough and careless and sometimes even aggressive fashion. I realize that laws protect me but I don’t like the scary feeling when one of these monsters are tail gating me. The insurance companies are fed up with the serious accidents SUV’s are involved in, and if they check their books, it would be worth their time to price these troublemakers off the road. Thank God for higher gas prices, they may force the larger vehicles off the road and let the rest of us live in peace and environmentally friendly tranquility. If you must drive a monstrosity we have armies and wars for you to fight – go join the forces and let us pay your gas to act in intimidating ways – in Iraq!

By: jezabel

jezabel — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:22:16 +0000

don’t insult dilo’s!

By: jezabel

jezabel — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 23:20:10 +0000

Has anyone seen a hummer with scratches or dents on it? Isn’t that the point of a 4×4 vehicle, if you need a truck…great, if you don’t and your SUV/hummer/pickup doesn’t have dents and scratches from trying to find a great fishing spot, or grow pot, or move horses, etc….then I’m sorry to say you ARE in fact a DOUCHEBAG. I like to spit on the driver side handles. DOUCHEBAGS touch my spit!

By: Ron Pork

Ron Pork — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:07:42 +0000

Still a douche

By: Ron Pork

Ron Pork — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 19:04:32 +0000

Well if you don’t drive a hummer, I’m sure its some sort of land tank with texas plates and a gun rack. Not jealous, just saddened that you are allowed to be part of humanity. Douchebag.

By: adskfjö

adskfjö — Thu, 28 Aug 2008 17:47:40 +0000

i think that was about Winter’s post

By: Steve

Steve — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 12:43:35 +0000

Same thing as dudes who bolt a huge wing to the trunk of their civics. It looks stupid and does nothing but scream, “Hey look at me!”

By: T.J. Elliott

T.J. Elliott — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 11:53:44 +0000

So I’d say the doucebag demographic is fairly accurate.

By: T.J. Elliott

T.J. Elliott — Wed, 27 Aug 2008 11:50:05 +0000

You kidding me? A.> We have to ride around in those uncomftrable, smelly, noisy, often broken, sluggish things all day weather we want to or not, and B.> You show me a Soldier, Marine, or etc that can actually purchase the lame civvie version of one of those, and I’ll wipe the off the makeup to reveal a hollywood actor.

By: meow

meow — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:30:41 +0000

For the purpose of this graph, Hummer drivers are the scapegoat. To buy any SUV however, in today’s fuel crisis, demonstrates arrogance or ignorance…Or both.

…And it is true, most SUV drivers will never go off-roading. It’s just not necessary to drive these things nowadays.

By: Guess Again

Guess Again — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 21:17:46 +0000

This graph is pretty funny, because it’s true! Hummers (and some other SUVs – which stand for Stupid Urban Vulgarity) took over the Porshe as the small penis mobile! And Ben E. is right, I’ve seen mud on hummers…twice, EVER!
By the way…some of you are ill informed about the price of gas…we’ve got PLENTY of gas – it’s all speculation…….f*cking wall street….

By: Danyell

Danyell — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:41:28 +0000

They’re about twice the size, for starters.

But don’t worry, I still think anyone who drives an SUV (that isn’t say, a hybrid) is a douche. They’re usually driven by frat boys or middle aged parents who think a minivan kills their “image”.

By: Danyell

Danyell — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:39:06 +0000

Why? What’s a good reason to drive a Hummer? Imagining there’s a gun on top? So you can be the biggest car on the road to make up for low self esteem?

Is there any reason to drive a friggin’ tank, except actually being in a war? Or do you have inside info that a war is actually coming to the US, right now?

By: Danyell

Danyell — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:37:03 +0000

…Or could be a douchebag?

By: Danyell

Danyell — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 19:36:16 +0000

Actually, that sounds more accurate.

By: Sylderon

Sylderon — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:10:06 +0000

Boosh!

By: Sylderon

Sylderon — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 18:07:23 +0000

Ah, right. I misunderstood.

By: Ben E.

Ben E. — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 17:32:10 +0000

and the percentage of those who would even consider taking their hummer off road? very very slim. very slim.

By: Jane St.Clair

Jane St.Clair — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 11:49:25 +0000

Your symptoms of insanity.

By: maddman

maddman — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 06:35:31 +0000

if by funny you mean badass then yes

By: Keen

Keen — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 04:57:49 +0000

Ha! 18-20? are you serious?
you find a civilian hummer that actually gets 20 mpg, ask to see under the hood because that hummer must be running on unicorn tears and leprechaun farts.

http://www.hummertech.net/m_29/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#5290
REAL hummer owners are mostly claiming under 15 average… most closer to 10.

Even my old beater jeep wrangler YJ gets 18 average, and it only cost me a tenth the cost of the bargain basement Hummer.

By: chez

chez — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 03:10:08 +0000

that and i dont see the word irony in my post.

By: Christopher R

Christopher R — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 01:38:41 +0000

3 things.

1. I made the Prius graph and I think what several others said is correct. Prius = You’re a “trendy” Douchebag, Hummer = You’re an asshole.

2. Sig obviously owns a hummer or two.

3. Dumb asses is two words (Sig). If you write it as one word, you look like one.

By: Lily

Lily — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 01:37:40 +0000

Not low consumption. Low MPG. Low consumption would be a high MPG.

By: sonic

sonic — Tue, 26 Aug 2008 00:57:58 +0000

I don’t really understand the whole hate thing for Hummer owners. I don’t see how they’re any different then a Tahoe an Escalade or Landcruisers for that fact, and I don’t see many people bashing the owners of those automobiles.

By: Lolnathan

Lolnathan — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 22:17:10 +0000

Okay then, Mr. Aptly Named. Mind telling me what great advantages they have over their equally priced SUV brethren? The H2 and H3 are typical peice of junk American SUVs. Shoddy build quality, poor interior, poor efficiency. They exemplify everything that is wrong with the American automotive industry. The H2 especially gets absolutely devastated by the European-made offerings, (Especially the Mercedes). And as someone else said, the H3 is a deathtrap. Also its interior room for its size class is extremely lacking.

By: Sylderon

Sylderon — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:23:24 +0000

Except that the H3 got the worst crash-test rating in its vehicle class…

By: Sylderon

Sylderon — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:20:23 +0000

How does reducing consumption of fuel drive up demand?

By: Sylderon

Sylderon — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 21:19:22 +0000

Well, maybe not all of them are douchebags…but the vast majority would seem to be. And what is there to be jealous about? Is it the H3 getting the worst crash-test rating in its class?

By: sgtsgg

sgtsgg — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:42:11 +0000

Haha, you have a cube!

By: Mr. Know Nothing

Mr. Know Nothing — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:21:59 +0000

The H2 and H3 are outclassed in just about every area at the same price point or cheaper. <- Not even remotely true

By: Mr. Know Nothing

Mr. Know Nothing — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 19:18:44 +0000

YEA, stupid H3 owners! Anyone who drives a vehicle that is not what I drive is obviously a douchbag! Those H3′s are just a POS anyway!

http://www.kbb.com/KBB/UsedCars/ConsumerRatings/2007_HUMMER_H3_83831_Retail_Excellent_SUV.aspx?SelectionHistory=83831|28884|03086|0|0|&Mileage=30000

Only rich douches can afford a $30,000 SUV that gets 18-20 mpg. Smart eco friendly outdoorsy people get Wranglers, Xterras, FJ Crusers, Explorers because they are cheaper and get less gas milage… o wait, sorry, they are not, and they don’t. My bad, well off to the country club in my X5. I still think hummer owners are douchbags…