Graph by juicebx75
-
-
Copy & paste this:
« Previous Wile E. Coyote’s ACME Account Statement | % of Olympic Interviews Next »
» 78 TPS Reports
Leave a Reply
-
Latest Comments
Exodiafinder687 on Probability Someone Will Insul… JoeL on High on Life? No, High on… Exodiafinder687 on Re-Plotted: Problem, Flame… Exodiafinder687 on I Swear to God If You Don… Exodiafinder687 on I Swear to God If You Don… zak on So Many Countless Hours Spent … CaioNV on Proof That Women Are Evil… Starlancer on So Many Countless Hours Spent … Malkiot on So Many Countless Hours Spent … Malkiot on So Many Countless Hours Spent … meh on Replotted- Pol·i·ti·cian: A Pe… Chris on So Many Countless Hours Spent … mwah on Replotted: That’s Just… Mr. Wayne on So Many Countless Hours Spent … tehrawb on High on Life? No, High on… 
Cheezburger Company Blog
Shouldn’t this be a Venn diagram? With all due respect to most of our military, there is a fair amount of crossover =).
Brilliance right out of the gates. Congrats.
While that may be true, calling a guy in an H2 a douchebag is not as bad for your health as calling a group of guys in an HMMWV (who might be carrying assault rifles) douchebags.
I agree with the Venn diagram, though. I would like to see the ‘circles of hell’ and the drivers of H2s and H3s (and civilian versions of the Humvee) on it.
Actually I suspect the guys in the M998 are likely to keep a cooler head than some road-rager H2 and H3 drivers when called a name
That’s not a Venn Diagram. Also, he did say Authorized Military Personnel. There are more douche bags than military, especially when it comes to Humvees and variations of it.
You kidding me? A.> We have to ride around in those uncomftrable, smelly, noisy, often broken, sluggish things all day weather we want to or not, and B.> You show me a Soldier, Marine, or etc that can actually purchase the lame civvie version of one of those, and I’ll wipe the off the makeup to reveal a hollywood actor.
So I’d say the doucebag demographic is fairly accurate.
Before reading any comments, I was going to say the same thing
I guess it’s easier this way… no more arguing about whether the small circle should be totally inside the big circle or halfway or what…. But I certainly know person or 2 who fit that middle category!
Oddly enough, the same percentage of Prius drivers are douchebags.
Unless, of course, its a powder blue Prius…then its just funny
if by funny you mean badass then yes
i have to disagree with this one. hummers are driven by assholes. hybrids are driven by douchebags.
Actually, that sounds more accurate.
hummers are obnoxiously big, obnoxiously expensive, obnoxiously wasteful, and those who drive them are obnoxiously rich and obnoxiously egotistical.
I believe the win goes to Demitri Martin for this one. But no matter; it’s still true and the people defending Hummer owners are idiots for not recognizing that.
It’s funny how you say people who drive Hummers are “obnoxiously rich”. Being considered rich used to mean you drive a 7 series BMW or an S Class Mercedes or a Porsche, but now you douchebags have confused being “rich” with people wanting to drive BIGGER vehicles. A Hummer with everything on it is not that expensive, if you actually work, which by gauging from the majority of the dumbasses making comments on this site, you don’t. So before you go blindly categorizing people who drive Hummers, how about doing a little research so in the future you don’t make yourself look like an ignorant prick.
Ah, the irony of that last sentence.
While, as you say, actually purchasing a Hummer is well within the price range of your average citizen, operating one sure as hell isn’t. You see, the reason that people have come to associate Hummers with wealth is that to actually drive one you need to have enough money lying around to fill up that tank every hundred miles or so. Also, to actually want a vehicle as excessively large and completely unnecessary as a Hummer, you need to have a serious hard on for self aggrandizement, which people have increasingly come to associate with the wealthy, and celebrities in particular.
that and the liability insurance on those things must be astronomical. a car with blind spots big enough to hide a school bus with won’t be treated lightly by insurance companies. i had the misfortune of getting stuck with an older model as a loaner once. horrible….
The insurance on a Hummer is not what you think it is. You say you’ve driven one, but you say it has huge blind spots. Wrong. Winter, one could say the same about any car with a gas guzzler tax. And clearly your use of the word irony is incorrect. Either you don’t know what it means, or you felt like it was needed. Or you’re trying to insinuate that I’ve never driven a Hummer or know people that have them.
What, do you work for the company or something? Calm the hell down, this isn’t a personal attack on you and the more you treat it like one the crazier you look.
that and i dont see the word irony in my post.
i think that was about Winter’s post
Your anger is REALLY out of proportion. Why don’t you calm down and dial back the crazy my friend.
There seems to be some confusion here. Are we talking about military hummers, the civvy model of the military hummer (the H1), or the douche-a-tron plastic body-kit on a GM Hummers (H2 and H3)? Loaded H1s were well over $100k. H2s and H3s are just plastic peices of crap. The drivers are quite different too, given the huge price difference. Anyone who drives a H2 or H3 is just an unwise buyer, not necessarily a douchebag. (The H2 and H3 are outclassed in just about every area at the same price point or cheaper.)
Yes…dumb and douche are very different.
However, I don’t really want either on the same roadways that I use drive my baby around.
Driving your baby around is the perfect reason to drive a Hummer. With so many assholes on the road blowing stop signs and talking/texting on their phones, I wouldn’t put my baby in anything smaller.
The H2 and H3 are outclassed in just about every area at the same price point or cheaper. <- Not even remotely true
Except that the H3 got the worst crash-test rating in its vehicle class…
Okay then, Mr. Aptly Named. Mind telling me what great advantages they have over their equally priced SUV brethren? The H2 and H3 are typical peice of junk American SUVs. Shoddy build quality, poor interior, poor efficiency. They exemplify everything that is wrong with the American automotive industry. The H2 especially gets absolutely devastated by the European-made offerings, (Especially the Mercedes). And as someone else said, the H3 is a deathtrap. Also its interior room for its size class is extremely lacking.
It’s the difference between the classy rich and the white/ghetto-trash that somehow figured out how to finance the means by which they can deal with their inferiority complex.
Class fail. Vehicle fail. You, sir, fail at life.
Still a douche
What’s wrong with being rich?
Nothing, as long as you’re not an arsewipe.
Your tears of jealousy.
Your symptoms of insanity.
Boosh!
As soon as I saw this, I saw a Hummer3 drive by. They are the epic of douches.
This is one of the best graphs I’ve seen in a long time. Maybe some of you shouldn’t take it so personally, and put it on the wall of your cube like I did.
Haha, you have a cube!
YEA, stupid H3 owners! Anyone who drives a vehicle that is not what I drive is obviously a douchbag! Those H3′s are just a POS anyway!
http://www.kbb.com/KBB/UsedCars/ConsumerRatings/2007_HUMMER_H3_83831_Retail_Excellent_SUV.aspx?SelectionHistory=83831|28884|03086|0|0|&Mileage=30000
Only rich douches can afford a $30,000 SUV that gets 18-20 mpg. Smart eco friendly outdoorsy people get Wranglers, Xterras, FJ Crusers, Explorers because they are cheaper and get less gas milage… o wait, sorry, they are not, and they don’t. My bad, well off to the country club in my X5. I still think hummer owners are douchbags…
Ha! 18-20? are you serious?
you find a civilian hummer that actually gets 20 mpg, ask to see under the hood because that hummer must be running on unicorn tears and leprechaun farts.
http://www.hummertech.net/m_29/mpage_1/key_/tm.htm#5290
REAL hummer owners are mostly claiming under 15 average… most closer to 10.
Even my old beater jeep wrangler YJ gets 18 average, and it only cost me a tenth the cost of the bargain basement Hummer.
I don’t really understand the whole hate thing for Hummer owners. I don’t see how they’re any different then a Tahoe an Escalade or Landcruisers for that fact, and I don’t see many people bashing the owners of those automobiles.
They’re about twice the size, for starters.
But don’t worry, I still think anyone who drives an SUV (that isn’t say, a hybrid) is a douche. They’re usually driven by frat boys or middle aged parents who think a minivan kills their “image”.
For the purpose of this graph, Hummer drivers are the scapegoat. To buy any SUV however, in today’s fuel crisis, demonstrates arrogance or ignorance…Or both.
…And it is true, most SUV drivers will never go off-roading. It’s just not necessary to drive these things nowadays.
Same thing as dudes who bolt a huge wing to the trunk of their civics. It looks stupid and does nothing but scream, “Hey look at me!”
3 things.
1. I made the Prius graph and I think what several others said is correct. Prius = You’re a “trendy” Douchebag, Hummer = You’re an asshole.
2. Sig obviously owns a hummer or two.
3. Dumb asses is two words (Sig). If you write it as one word, you look like one.
and the percentage of those who would even consider taking their hummer off road? very very slim. very slim.
This graph is pretty funny, because it’s true! Hummers (and some other SUVs – which stand for Stupid Urban Vulgarity) took over the Porshe as the small penis mobile! And Ben E. is right, I’ve seen mud on hummers…twice, EVER!
By the way…some of you are ill informed about the price of gas…we’ve got PLENTY of gas – it’s all speculation…….f*cking wall street….
Has anyone seen a hummer with scratches or dents on it? Isn’t that the point of a 4×4 vehicle, if you need a truck…great, if you don’t and your SUV/hummer/pickup doesn’t have dents and scratches from trying to find a great fishing spot, or grow pot, or move horses, etc….then I’m sorry to say you ARE in fact a DOUCHEBAG. I like to spit on the driver side handles. DOUCHEBAGS touch my spit!
don’t insult dilo’s!
Hummers are intimidating! When driving around in my Smart car, the larger Hummers appear threatening. Transport trucks are less maneuverable and for the bigger part slow and avoidable, but I always seem to encounter a jackass with nothing better to do with their time than drive in rough and careless and sometimes even aggressive fashion. I realize that laws protect me but I don’t like the scary feeling when one of these monsters are tail gating me. The insurance companies are fed up with the serious accidents SUV’s are involved in, and if they check their books, it would be worth their time to price these troublemakers off the road. Thank God for higher gas prices, they may force the larger vehicles off the road and let the rest of us live in peace and environmentally friendly tranquility. If you must drive a monstrosity we have armies and wars for you to fight – go join the forces and let us pay your gas to act in intimidating ways – in Iraq!
Were getting off topic, Is there anything wrong with the cars? probably not. The real focus is the people behind the wheel. This is the type of car that tends to attract the people who want to “rule the road”. These people often drive like d-bags, and are therefore labeled as such. This is not a matter of being a gun-totting Republican, or a tree-humping liberal, douches know no political status.
Completely accurate. Guy has one across the street from me. And he falls into the main percentile.
And this chart is necessary…why? spread hate why don’t you.
Envy is not a virtue.
Neither is solipsism.
Also a valid representation of douchebags-cadillac escalades.
Actually, the biggest douchebags of all are the ones who ride around in stretch Hummers
That chart is a highly accurate breakdown of Hummer drivers.
I’m in LA, and Mustangs, Camaros & Porsches are still the douciest cars of all.
HEY! my dad used to drive a hummer!
and a Smart car is doucey.
Good one.
the hummer is the only american made vehicle to come standard with a drivers side douchebag.
I drive an H1 Hummer. 10,000 pounds, as configured. nearly 8 feet wide. 6.5L Diesel Turbine. I take solace in knowing that after 10 years of owning and driving one, not ONE person has had the balls to call me a douchebag, and I doubt they ever will. Even when I am out of the vehicle, and they have the face to face chance. Only on the internet do I find such bold opinions about it. Oh, and I CAN afford it, and your wives digs it. She just doesn’t tell you.
Excellent!!! These folks are jealous little hippies that drive around in there beat up old Volkswagon buses, pissed off because we ruined their high!
You, sir, have a hummer.
Yeah, I’m so jealous I don’t have to fill up my gas tank twice a day. Although I do agree with the earlier comment that Hummer drivers are assholes and Prius drivers are the douchebags.
Oh, right. It’s certainly jealousy and NOT the fact that low-low-low gas mileage vehicles drive up general demand which drives up the price of gas for everyone.
Couldn’t be that.
No…
Not a chance.
Never.
arse.
There’s a lesson here Sig…
The only thing people dislike more than an asshole, is people who defend them. I think your commentary would be better received on the Foxnews website or something like that. This one is for thinking folk.
Well, maybe not all of them are douchebags…but the vast majority would seem to be. And what is there to be jealous about? Is it the H3 getting the worst crash-test rating in its class?
Why? What’s a good reason to drive a Hummer? Imagining there’s a gun on top? So you can be the biggest car on the road to make up for low self esteem?
Is there any reason to drive a friggin’ tank, except actually being in a war? Or do you have inside info that a war is actually coming to the US, right now?
Heh heh, get a load-a-this douchebag ^
No, I don’t. But nice try.
…Or could be a douchebag?
How does reducing consumption of fuel drive up demand?
Not low consumption. Low MPG. Low consumption would be a high MPG.
Ah, right. I misunderstood.
Well if you don’t drive a hummer, I’m sure its some sort of land tank with texas plates and a gun rack. Not jealous, just saddened that you are allowed to be part of humanity. Douchebag.