Graph By: Krista G.
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you forgot ‘oogling at hot women in bikinis’ which would take up about 75% of my time….
The Graph was by someone named “Krista G” so she was probably checking out the sweet banana hamocks……
even straight women oogle at other women in bikinis (okay the technical term is ‘compare’ but they are still oogling)
What is that, some male fantasy? I don’t think so, and even if there is some comparison, not 75% of the time!
Yeah, do you oogle at other men’s genitals?
I THINK NOT???
unless your homosexual. in that case feel free
yeah see you’re not a girl so…. you don’t know that.
Thank you for restoring hope in humanity.
Having worked as a lifeguard, I can say there is a distinct lack of women in bikinis… or at least women who SHOULD be in bikinis.
there should be a graph about that-
probability of getting hot girls in bikinis in your section= 1%
probability of getting fat 70-year-old men in your section=70%
probability of getting annoying kids in your section=29%
cuz seriously thats what its like, if you haven’t ever lifegaurded…
What, no large segment for “looking at nice butts” and tiny sliver for “time spent in the pool”?
Swinging whistle cord around finger one way and then another (or maybe that was an ’80s thing.
NOT just an 80s thing.
I would say 90% I’m doing that. (often combined with staring into space aimlessly or reading)
I don’t know about you. But if I worked for 5 hours lifegaurding and 30-35% of that time was spent eating snack bar food…I wouldn’t be lifegaurding for long. I’d just be fat and unhappy (I don’t know anyone who can eat for an hour and a half snack bar food in a 5 hour shift).
I think that %’age is a lot high. Maybe 10-15%, so like 30-45 minutes in a 5 hour shift. This makes room for another 5% of in the pool time, and 15-20% of looking at hot women/guys (depending on gender of course).
IAWTC.
maybe she ate her snack bars really slowly- maybe she made it a game- like that she could only take a bite when a kid yelled out that another kid was peeing in the pool- and thats another thing- i’m pretty sure most lifeguarding takes place during kids swim rather than adult swim so there probably wasn’t a lot of oogling of either gender going on
all kinds of ogling going on during kids swim – yummy mummys everywhere…
What about time spent bathing in sunscreen? Or is that just for pale chicks like me?
I had the EXACT same experience in my lifeguarding job.
And in reference to oggling at women…there werent any worth oggling at…
maybe its more of a where thing, i would suspect that in the middle of say Wyoming there isn’t much but say beach lifeguarding at miami, maybe something.
so far, no one in this thread has spelled “ogle” correctly.
Not until just now, anyway.
it may be boring but a lifeguard saved my autistic cousin from almost drowning in a pool, so… thanks
saving autistic cousins 0.000002%
what about yelling at kids to stop running? that should be a good 10% at least – maybe right before handing out the band-aids…
Oh so true. Switch around reading/sudoku with bandaids, and then bandaids with snacking, and you have my pool. XD
But ya, agreed w/ cornflower.
Chain of Events:
*run* -> “WALKKKK!!!” -> *face2concrete* -> *cries* -> *band-aid action*
It’s fun to watch sometimes, though…. Unless it’s devastatingly horrible.
Lmao, jkjk
You tell them to stop, but inside you want to see what will happen if they don’t.
THIS graphjam is NOT FUNNY in any way, shape or form. Could I give a crap about what you do at your job? Gah!!! Hate to sound like a c**t… but what ever happened to all the hilarious charts?
It’s funny because its ironic. It’s pointing out the humor in the fact that lifeguards are employed to save drowning people however for most lifeguards that comprises little or none of what they do. The fact that it had to be explained to you probably takes away from the humor of the experience. Maybe you could find a nice picture of a dog in sunglasses or something else more suited to your level of comprehension to make you giggle.
Jesus, this is how my entire season has been thus far, and I’m about to go and lifeguard in about an hour… mind numbing!!!
Anyone who is a lifeguard will get the humor, otherwise they just don’t understand just how ridiculous being a lifeguard actually is.
I’ve used my training only three times in the past 3 years, two of them being generic first aid and only one being an actual save, no cpr or anything like that though…
mmm snack bar!
Never been a lifeguard, but I tell you, replace Sudoku with drawing,
and you have exactly what I would do if I were there.
A “heh” graph. 7/10 not bad
Maybe reserve a tiny sliver of ‘eating snack bar food’ for eating, and a slightly larger bit for ‘staring at hotties of your preferred gender’ and then the rest is ‘yelling at kids to stop running’.
Y’know, this would be better if the term “band” was removed from “giving children…”
but parents always get to them before we do anyway…
but the parents freak out if there kid has a scratch
Oh god..
for me, almost the entire thing would be “staring aimlessly into space”, and instead of “giving little kids band-aids,” it would be “pretending to be working hard when my boss is there”.
and then theres the people in the snack shack-
eating food-50%
trying to convince your boss you were eating food-20%
giving the lifegaurds free food behind your bosses’ back-20%
playing ‘noes-goes’ for not doing the snow-cones-5%
freezing lazy jerk’s work shirt-5%
u must be a red cross lifeguard cause i dont see anything to do with actually jumping in and saving lives which i did almost every day at my lifeguard job
Don’t forget about time spent “Practicing saves” after the pool closed, putting brownies in the pool, drinking in the pump room, and all the HTH bombs!
Most of the lifeguards I’ve seen spend 99% of their time twirling their whistle around their finger over and over.
I agree. although. If the giving kids band aids was replaced with cleaning toilets, that would sum up my experience as a lifeguard completely.